Before I became a Christian, about two or three times a week a person close to me did the same annoying thing and I was angry each time. My response was retaliation but it didn’t change a thing. Then one day I heard on a radio program to respond to someone’s annoying habits as if they never happened. The voice said, “Carry on and be nice to them.” So I tried it and it must have had some shock value for that person never did it again.
Today’s devotional affirms that non-retaliation is an expression of love. I didn’t know it then, but know it now . . . “Love is patient” (1 Corinthians 13:4).
MacArthur writes that we usually think of patience as the ability to wait or endure without complaint — either regarding people or circumstances. However, this word translated “patience” refers specifically to patience with people. It means “to be long-tempered.” That is, patience is about choosing not to retaliate when wronged. It is a response like God’s response when I sin against Him. It is also a fruit of the Holy Spirit (see Galatians 5:22) and not possible apart from His enabling. That God enabled me to say no to retaliation before I said yes to Christ says something else about the grace of God! He was teaching me about Himself before I knew Him, and about the way of life that He would give me.
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. (Ephesians 4:1–2)
The Lord is always the example to follow. “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9) To resist that patience and insist on retaliation is not wise for it is presuming “on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead me to repentance” (Romans 2:4)
In NT times, retaliation was considered heroic. It is even true today. Consider advice such as, “Stand up for yourself” and “Don’t take that treatment; get even.” But Jesus said of those who crucified Him, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
The other thing about retaliation is that it can be subtle and even passive, like withdrawing or ignoring those who hurt me, or talking mean about them behind their back. Godly love does not do that. It is always kind and motivated by humility, obedience, and willingness to sacrifice my so-called rights rather than hurting someone else, no matter what they did to me.
PRAY: Lord, this is not easy. The closer the relationship, the deeper the wounds and the stronger the temptation to get even, to hurt back. Humility reminds me that I’ve hurt others too, and would I want them retaliating and being impatient toward me? Not at all. Help me remember Your patience with me and submit to the Holy Spirit’s patience rather than be resentful or fight back. Also enable me to trust You with taking care of any wrong-doing that others do. Dealing with sin mostly means my own sin, rather than trying to ‘fix’ the sin that others do.
PONDER: Genesis 50:15–21 tells how Joseph’s brothers feared retaliation without realizing the amazing patience and long-suffering He developed in Joseph. Think of ways God can use the sins of others to accomplish His purposes rather than letting those sins be a reason for me to take matters into my own hands.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17–21)
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