Getting older? Or Getting better?

How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man. A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. (Proverbs 6:9–15)

This is a discouraging passage for a person who has always been industrious and is now aging and wants to nap more than be busy. But there is a difference between the sluggard and the octogenarian. The older person is tired, not lazy, still wants to be doing things, is not trying to trick others into doing everything for him.

Yet those sluggard ideas pop up. My old nature would shirk responsibilities and complain about the work anyone else did for me. I’d never be satisfied and never take on hard challenges.

It is a challenging season. I had an older friend who used to say, “I don’t know how to be ninety.” At the time, I didn’t understand, but now realize the conflict. My body and my mind do not agree with each other. Had I been a sluggard all my life, this would not be an issue. 

New friends are helpful. One of my neighbors is ninety and going strong. Her mind is sharp and she is busy with family and happy all the time. It is possible to know how to be ninety. I’m not there yet, but should the Lord grant me that many birthdays, He has already given me a few role-models, but most of all, Himself:

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:1–8)

This is such a far cry from being a sluggard who stirs up trouble and cares for no one but herself. 

Lord Jesus, it is okay to have a nap, but not to avoid responsibilities. Sleep is okay for those who are tired from labor. You bless those who think good thoughts, and who are not always stirring up trouble. Your goal for me is even better than being “a sweet little old lady” — You want me to be to be like You.

Danger of not paying attention…

“How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple? How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing and fools hate knowledge? If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you. Because I have called and you refused to listen, have stretched out my hand and no one has heeded, because you have ignored all my counsel and would have none of my reproof, I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when terror strikes you, when terror strikes you like a storm and your calamity comes like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come upon you. Then they will call upon me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently but will not find me. Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord, would have none of my counsel and despised all my reproof, therefore they shall eat the fruit of their way, and have their fill of their own devices. For the simple are killed by their turning away, and the complacency of fools destroys them; but whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.” (Proverbs 1:22–33)

Before reading this, I had a discussion with someone about a medical problem I’ve had for years. It has been diagnosed, treated, but has no cure. All that can be done is easing the symptoms. As I age, those symptom treatments are not working well and I’m wondering if there are any other ways to deal with them.

However this other person thinks I should go to a doctor who can identify the cause and treat the symptoms, seeming to think that I’ve not ‘been there, done that.’ This section from Proverbs reminds me that those who will not listen to other people are very unlikely to listen to God either.

Being a ‘know it all’ is a dangerous self-view. I know because I’ve ‘been there, done that’ also. It is pride when I’m right, but mostly a foolish way to think because it puts me and my ideas above the wisdom of God. How foolish is that? 

Job said some wise things, yet he was not like God, and the Lord challenged his so-called ideas. He started with this then essentially challenged this man to compare himself with God:

Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: “Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me. Will you even put me in the wrong? Will you condemn me that you may be in the right? Have you an arm like God, and can you thunder with a voice like his? Adorn yourself with majesty and dignity; clothe yourself with glory and splendor. Pour out the overflowings of your anger, and look on everyone who is proud and abase him. Look on everyone who is proud and bring him low and tread down the wicked where they stand. Hide them all in the dust together; bind their faces in the world below. Then will I also acknowledge to you that your own right hand can save you. (Job 40:6–14)

In other words, if he could do even this much that God can do, then God would agree with him.

I have no doubt that God can cure my medical problem, yet I also have no doubt that He has His reasons for not doing so. I trust His wisdom, not mine nor that of the critic who told me I’m not going to the right doctor. 

Jesus, this conversation and those verses could be directed to the ‘know it all’ who gives medical advice without listening, but instead You use them to tell me not to be a smarty that thinks I’ve got all things figured out. You are a constant surprise, and one of them is the peace You give as I accept that I’m not going to live forever, and perhaps not even be comfortable in the last years of life. Your peace surpasses all understanding, and it will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7) There is no doctor or treatment that can do that!

Count my blessings…

Hear my prayer, O Lord; give ear to my pleas for mercy! In your faithfulness answer me, in your righteousness! Enter not into judgment with your servant, for no one living is righteous before you. For the enemy has pursued my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead. Therefore my spirit faints within me; my heart within me is appalled. I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands. I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails! Hide not your face from me, lest I be like those who go down to the pit. Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Deliver me from my enemies, O Lord! I have fled to you for refuge. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground! For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life! In your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble! And in your steadfast love you will cut off my enemies, and you will destroy all the adversaries of my soul, for I am your servant. (Psalm 143:1–12)

The psalmist is in trouble and calling for help. It seems a regular occurring situation, particularly after a meaningful act of serving the Lord. However, He gave me the solution before this reminder of the problem.

Each morning I warm up by walking and singing worship songs using lyrics printed on pages in a binder. This morning the last one in my list was “Count Your Blessings.” As I personalized it to ‘count my blessings’ the Spirit filled my mind with recent bright spots and any thoughts of “poor me” vanished.

This does not mean the challenges of the day went with them. I still have too much to do and wonder if the hours available will be long enough. My studio looks like a bomb hit it. Upstairs, the dust is thick. The blessings of Mother’s Day have not faded, yet neither has the fatigue that showed up after the fun and after three days at a very full quilt retreat. 

I’m blessed that I could sleep all day if my conscience would let me. Yet I’m blessed with this promise: 

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:29–31)

I may cry out to God like the psalmist, but God has already said what I need to hear.  

Jesus, my memorizing skills are not great, but Your are able to remind me of verses that have been read and relied on — and even though they are known, each come as a lovely surprise. You do the same with songs, putting them in my mind and giving me joy and a sense of renewal with their melody. Truly You lead me on level ground and often to higher ground, preserving my life and granting me all that is needed when that level ground becomes a seemingly insurmountable steep place. Thank You. 

Thoughts on Memorization

Deal with your servant according to your steadfast love, and teach me your statutes. I am your servant; give me understanding, that I may know your testimonies! It is time for the Lord to act, for your law has been broken. Therefore I love your commandments above gold, above fine gold. Therefore I consider all your precepts to be right; I hate every false way. Your testimonies are wonderful; therefore my soul keeps them. The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple. (Psalm 119:124–130)

Yesterday’s sermon was about hiding God's Word in my heart. I’ve never been able to do rote memorization. I struggle with focus and being easily distracted. However, the guest speaker memorized the entire NT so I listened carefully for ways to overcome that problem.

He was clear in all he said and gave tips, like go somewhere with no distractions. That is my challenge. My mind can come up with many distractions, even in a dark room without anything in it. Yet one tip helped: he said to attach memory practice to something I already do without prompting. It could be brushing my teeth, but better yet, I spend ten minutes each morning walking and singing worship songs. I can add memory practice to that.

The other problem is being pragmatic. He said it helped when tempted as verses needed would more quickly come to mind. Yet doesn’t the Holy Spirit do that? If I’m relying on my memory, that is one thing, but relying on the Lord is amazing. He answers my need with His thoughts. I am not certain memorization is the best way to rely on for resisting temptation. Desiring to obey seems more important than retention. I could be wrong, yet relying on the Lord seems less about what I know and more about what and who I am trusting.

The passage above elevates understanding before knowing, and loving God's commands above keeping them. Knowing them by memorization can happen without doing what they say. Doing what they say means I have them in my heart far deeper than just being able to recite them.

All that said, at the end of the sermon, two men stood up and after three months of memory work, they said the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) from memory. It was not only motivational, but mesmerizing, better than if they had read it.

Jesus, I am so in agreement with the psalmist. I love Your Word and challenged daily to do what You tell me through its pages. It makes me realize what I do not know and how wise You are. Thank You for the Holy Spirit who is an enduring and powerful gift to my memory.

Single-minded

I hate the double-minded, but I love your law. You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word. Depart from me, you evildoers, that I may keep the commandments of my God. Uphold me according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be put to shame in my hope! Hold me up, that I may be safe and have regard for your statutes continually! You spurn all who go astray from your statutes, for their cunning is in vain. All the wicked of the earth you discard like dross, therefore I love your testimonies. My flesh trembles for fear of you, and I am afraid of your judgments. (Psalm 119:113–120)

This reading is much like yesterday, and therefore God must be telling me to give it more attention! The first thing I notice is that double-minded warning. Biblically, and in personal experience as a Christian, this is about wavering between my way and God's way. He wants a certain way of thinking and behaving, but I want another.

Most of this is invisible to others. For instance, I can tell a story or say words that seem to be uplifting, but in my heart, I’m doing it to show off how much I know. Or I can do a kindness with my teeth gritted because I’d rather be nasty. In other words, not being double-minded is having the godly reaction to people without even thinking of my self-centered one. It is hidden in Him, shielded by His Word and His love.

Doing the right thing is not because I am terrified by what will happen or what God with do to me if I do the wrong thing. It is more like being so in awe of the goodness of God that I do not want to do anything that God has judged harmful for me and for others.

For example, in wanting to be like Jesus, He has shown me how it feels when I tell someone about a struggle in my life and they immediately tell me of their struggles — not to empathize, but as if their problem is worse or more important. Motive is easy to discern. I’ve done it too. Because of ‘been there, done that’ I realize that it can hurt a deeply troubled person when I turn the conversation from their problem to ‘poor me’ and dismiss caring for them. Double-minded stunts like that do not gain God's approval.

Jesus, keep me from being like the things I hate. May your law of loving You and others be the place to not just hide or shield me, but where Your attitudes reign. I know that being in Your Word is a vital part of having Your attitudes and actions come out of my life in a spontaneous way and with honest y and without thought about myself — because You are the focus of my life, not me.

What the Word of God does…

Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day. Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged, for I keep your precepts. I hold back my feet from every evil way, in order to keep your word. I do not turn aside from your rules, for you have taught me. How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Through your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way. (Psalm 119:97–104)

These few verses are a bit like a book review. The psalmist describes what happens in his life when he reads Scripture, but not just reading it — for one thing, he thinks about what he has read.

The books we read do have an effect on us. If I spent all my spare time in the newspaper, my emotions would change. If my reading were romance novels, or mystery, or only war stories, my thoughts would not be the same as reading children’s books, and if I read only cookbooks, that could affect my waistline.

However, as the psalmist says, the Bible has an effect on more than thoughts and emotions. Right away, he makes clear that thinking about what he is reading is important. I know that is true. I have a touch of attention deficit. That tends to mess with keeping my mind on what needs attention and leading to ignoring it. Not that what I read is unimportant, just that distraction interferes with application.

No excuse. Meditation is vital. As the psalmist says, God’s Word imparts wisdom — if it is taken to heart, considered thoughtfully. It can make the reader wiser than any opposition, even give that reader understanding beyond mentors and teachers, even those older (although there are not many of those left in my list of friends). 

Yet I note that this wisdom comes from obeying what I read. It is not for information alone but for transformation. 

Add to meditation and application is avoiding anything contrary to what God says. When He tells me to be kind to my enemies, I will not gain wisdom or be transformed if I gossip about them or am unkind in other ways. Not only that, the more I read and do what God says, the more His ways make sense to me and the better I am at seeing what is not good and what to avoid.

Jesus, how amazing that You are called the Word of God. Not only is all of God's goodness and wisdom written for us in Your Book, it is present in a living Person. You are God's example for me to follow, and my enablement to actually do it. Your Book is no ordinary book for it speaks to me. It is Your voice written so I can hear it and do Your will. I am with the writer of those words who says “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” How wonderful that You use written words to tell me how to live and then enable me to do what You say!!

The Adventure of Aging…

I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. The snares of death encompassed me; the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me; I suffered distress and anguish. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “O Lord, I pray, deliver my soul!” Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living. (Psalm 116:1–9)

Every day brings a new test. At the same time, the Lord is merciful. Yesterday at a sewing retreat, each story brought out the goodness of the Lord. One woman had tests that put away her fears that she had experienced a medical episode. She was so joyful that I hardly recognized her! While she did not quote this psalm, she express gratitude to be alive and healthy. 

Most of the people in our little community are over 70, yet many of them are healthy and alert, busy doing things and enjoying their latter years. It is an encouraging place to be, even with the tests to my faith. Most of them involve: Will I trust Jesus with this or will I bail out in annoyance, anger, self-pity, or complaining?

The Holy Spirit often reminds me that doctors told my parents I would not live beyond sixteen years. God said otherwise. I’m eighty-five, can still see to thread a needle first try, cook a decent meal, make quilts, stand on one leg more than 10 seconds, and keep my house clean. 

Because of You, Jesus, I can return my soul to that precious rest. You are utterly generous, and have put me where You want me. Then You enable me to see what’s next and how much I need You to confess and repent of old bad habits. Some say old age is scary or lonely, but for me, it is never boring!