“I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.” And again, “I will put my trust in him.” And again, “Behold, I and the children God has given me.” Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. (Hebrews 2:12–18)For about a week, I’ve been obsessed with thoughts of dying and leaving work here undone. I’ve been an information gatherer (trait of the spiritual gift of teaching) and that gathering has included ideas for projects such as “I’d like to paint this scene” or “make this quilt” or “use this recipe.” More than enough for one person, never mind the time left on this earth to do all that.
Satan has used this trait to push me to a fear of death, not that I don’t want to go and be with Jesus, but that I don’t want to leave things undone, or leave a lot of unused stuff for my kids to deal with.
This week I discovered how many souls are saved each day by the One who died to give us eternal life. I also found a box of thank you cards that told me how others have viewed my contributions as a Christian serving the Lord. I was not seeing myself that way and deeply moved by reading those cards.
Today thoughts of Jesus approaching death come to mind. Yes, He said “not my will” and sweat blood at the process, but He also said:
I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had with you before the world existed. (John 17:4–5)With the power of God as a man, Jesus could have done millions more than He did, but He did only what the Father gave Him to do. With that, He was ready to die and go home. He is my example.
Elisabeth Elliot comes to mind. Many years ago, God put me at a table with her for lunch. Someone asked her how she managed her many responsibilities and accomplishments. She said, “I just do the next thing, and I always know what it is.” I put her name in my search engine and watched the first half of a podcast where she speaks on the fear and old age. Not exactly my topic, but it was such a blessing. (LINK to EE ) So are the words of her advice about having too much to do. Even my hubby says the same thing to me when I fret.
Whatever God wants from me is enough. While I do not see myself as those who wrote in those cards saw me, I know that trusting God with the past, today, and the future is the way to peace and to be able to say, “It is finished” or as one of my much older cousins says, “Being ready to go to the end of the line.”
Jesus, forgive me for letting my thoughts drift away from You and into the unknown territory of the rest of this life. You are so good at directing me to the “next thing” and I’ve no ability to see very far beyond it. You know both the beginning and the end and have taken me through the years so well. I can trust You with the rest of it.