Life offers occasions when helplessness is obvious. Aging is part of it along with lack of sleep, exercise, or inexperience. Few relish being weak, at least not like Paul did.
To keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7–10)
He knew how to live with that helplessness that realizes ‘I cannot do this’ without Christ. Compared to Paul, I’ve had only a taste of what Jesus will do when I admit to Him that I am unable. Right now, the issue is prayer.
I determined to pray more and found out how impossible that goal is without the power of God. These past few weeks have had more distractions, interruptions, excuses, and feelings of ‘I don’t want to’ than any time in my life. It is affecting me in odd ways. For instance, I usually sleep extremely well, but last night could not. Nor could I pray. I felt helpless, frustrated, even angry but with no reasons or explanations. This morning’s devotions offer this:
And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:9–11)
Did Paul ever feel that his efforts were worthless or that his life was too far below par to receive answers? Did his focus mess with his confidence instead of staying on the glory of God? He never wavered from God’s words to Ananias at his conversion: “But the Lord said to him, ‘Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.’ ” (Acts 9:15–16)
Paul’s persistence makes me wonder if I will ever ‘grow up’ and fulfill that desire to pray without ceasing. Sometimes I wonder if my prayers even matter. However, a 98-year-old woman on my prayer list recently professed faith after years of loudly saying no to God. A family member is now sharing the gospel after a long time of not walking with Jesus. A man whose wife was planning his funeral last week is well and leaving the hospital. All because of prayer.
World events and massive loss of life is beyond me, as is the evil such as moms murdering their babies, families training their children to steal, stuff too awful to put in print. Like many, I often wonder where is God?
Then those verses from Philippians tell me to love with knowledge and discernment, pursue excellence, be pure and blameless, and I feel helpless in this world of ignorant cluelessness. Most seem content with mediocrity at best and pursuing evil at worst. Does the entire world deny Jesus Christ and totally ignore God? Many days I feel trampled by the herd rushing to get through that wide gate that leads to destruction.
MacArthur says, “Being blameless isn’t easy in a world that unashamedly flaunts its sinful practices. You must guard against losing your sensitivity to the heinousness of sin and unwittingly beginning to tolerate or even accept the sin that once shocked you . . . Diligently pursue integrity with a view toward glorifying Christ in all things until He returns.”
Then he points to this, and I am encouraged:
Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. (Jude 24–25)
Lord, You do not ask me to live for You in weakness but because of my weakness. I stumble; You pick up. I falter; You are my righteousness. I feel stressed and You grant joy. You tell me to guard my heart, but I cannot — You are my Savior, the strength of my heart and my portion forever. I am a mere and messy mortal who must pray about everything, bring my concerns to You and experience Your peace — and sometimes experience great surprises. If I am to be a person of integrity who is effective for You, it is only because of You and Your grace.
READ: Romans 7 and 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 again. Consider Paul’s conclusion about being helpless.
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