Life is not a straight line…

Today will be difficult. We say goodbye to a friend who died in her sleep. No warning, too young, leaving husband and family in numbing shock as well as all who knew her. Even after two weeks, most of us have not realized the reality of what happened.

We knew her well. Her oldest lived with us while in university. The other daughter’s hubby handles financial matters for us. Their son has been on our prayer list for years. My husband and hers have breakfast together every few weeks.

To add to the pain of this loss, we just experienced the most wonderful family reunion that I cannot describe without awe for God. He graced us with His presence and even the many who are not believers still speak of the event with superlatives, not fully understanding what made it special but realizing it was a deep blessing.

And now we go to another extreme. I realize the Lord is in this too, but the feelings are not the same. Today’s reading reminds me that no height of spiritual blessing can absolve me from obedience and watchfulness. While I would like to dwell on the joy of the reunion, He wants me to share the sorrow of the bereaved. My stomach even churns with the swing from joy to overwhelming sorrow, from enjoying those deeply blessed to comforting those deeply grieving.

Yet the reading reminds me that Jesus is here in both extremes. He never stops wanting me to obey Him and never stops supplying what I need to do it:

… walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; (Colossians 1:10)

For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me. (Colossians 1:29)

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12–13)

It is folly to think that the heights of blessing will keep the enemy from trying to topple me from that mountain top. Usually his attacks are unexpected and differ from the last time he went at me. This past few days, the distraction has been physical as well as emotional. Praying this morning helped a great deal. Also my mom’s words, “We must need it or we wouldn’t be getting it” often give motivation to simply trust God. If He wants whatever is happening, I need to accept it. If He doesn’t want it, that attack stops as He goes to bat for me.

In other words, I can fight, but it is a fight of faith not of effort, for my God fights for me, and therefore I can be at peace. The externals may not change, but again, it is the peace of God who makes this change inside of me.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)

Understanding this peace may not happen, but experiencing it is a reality.

PRAY: Lord, even my devotions this morning were a turmoil and interrupted several times, but You are here with me and Your presence makes such a difference. Fill me with Your Spirit that I might glorify You today and not be absorbed today with the ups and downs of this past week. Thank You!