How to comfort?

Comforting suffering people is not my forte. In myself when I suffer, it is because my thoughts are skewed. Instead of “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8) my mind is believing a lie, or thinking about the evil people do, or some other ugly thing. A friend calls it stinkin’ thinkin’ and it does not give me joy.

God tell me to be a comforter and that is not easy. When my own reason is wrong thinking, I tend to project that to suffering souls and want to correct their thinking so they will feel better. This is not always a welcome way of doing that.

It does work for me though. When in sorrow over the death of my father, a young woman said to me, “This might seem the wrong thing to say, but I am so happy for your dad.” For me, that was exactly the right thing to say. Dad is with Jesus, far better off than in the hospital and in pain. Besides, my grief was mostly feeling sorry for myself. She turned that off and reminded me that my dad was experiencing the bliss of heaven.

Since then, I’ve also noted that in myself, grief is often a pity-party and sad feelings are often unnecessary worries that the God who runs the universe does not know what He is doing. Saying truth tends to be the comfort that I want to offer others.

The NT paints a different picture. Jesus wept with Martha and Mary. Forgiveness comforts. The presence of those who care comforts. Love, affection, and sympathy comforts as does the faith of others. Another passage says weep with those who weep — share their sorrow.
The OT offers this:

Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that her warfare is ended, that her iniquity is pardoned, that she has received from the Lord’s hand double for all her sins. . . .  The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever. Go on up to a high mountain, O Zion, herald of good news; lift up your voice with strength, O Jerusalem, herald of good news; lift it up, fear not; say to the cities of Judah, “Behold your God!” Behold, the Lord God comes with might, and his arm rules for him; behold, his reward is with him, and his recompense before him. He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young. (Isaiah 40:1–11)

Remind people of God’s care. We sometimes sin and suffer the consequences. All are terminal so many fear death, but our God is a loving, gentle Shepherd. He is to be trusted. Even when we suffer, He will use it for good. I cannot predict how that will happen, but the hope this offers is a comfort in itself.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. (2 Corinthians 1:3–7)

PRAY: Lord, it seems like the world is filled with many suffering souls. While I sometimes want to hide myself from all the sorrow, You give comfort to me so I can share it, and You also use our struggles for good, to build faith and to draw us closer to You and to one another. Remind me of these truths as You bring across my path those who struggle and need comfort.

God’s power over evil…

Someone I know well is a member of a cult. His faith is not in Jesus as God in human flesh who took our punishment for sin. He believes Jesus died to give us the right and power to earn our salvation. While that idea is not biblical, he also believes a few things that do agree with the Bible. One of them is the confidence that God will defeat evil, yet not realizing that He already has.

Today’s chapter in “Born for Battle” says that despite the suffering in the world and the severe persecution of genuine Christians and even of those who claim to be but are not, the power of God will overcome Satan. Actually, He already has. This enemy is now on a short leash, and as the reading says, he is merely a pawn in God’s will, as are those who hold firm to their sin.

Surely the wrath of man shall praise you; the remnant of wrath you will put on like a belt. (Psalm 76:10)

That book’s author also quotes this verse to show that the storm of hate that evil stirs up is used for God’s purposes: "This Jesus, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men." (Acts 2:23)

The very worst evil could do actually turned out to be the very best that ever happened. And because of that, I need to be careful how I evaluate the events of life. Peter was not thinking right when he heard and responded as Jesus told him what would soon happen:

From that time Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” (Matthew 16:21–23)

The idea of God killing Jesus was foreign to him and still is for many. The Jews did it, or the jealous Pharisees, but how could God crucify His sinless Son?

Yet He did. There was no flaw in His plan. For a time, Peter thought so and became Satan’s mouthpiece. Eventually he learned that God’s redemptive purpose moves along a path of suffering and sacrifice — and as my reading says, any diversion from that is from Satan. For that reason, I’m learning to be careful how I think about the world news and God’s will. We Christians tend to want heaven on earth, a return to Eden in our lifetime. However, the Bible does not promise this and we  remain in a spiritual battle.

Jesus has defeated the enemy, yet this enemy still thrashes about, injuring and deceiving, destroying and duping even sincere people away from faith in the true Savior, salvation that could be theirs by the grace of God. Yet the God who makes the wrath of man praise Him can also take the evil done by their wrath and use it to bring those who fight Him to their knees at the foot of the cross. For me, this is truth that instructs me how to pray for hardened sinners. God can use their sin to save them. Nothing is too difficult for God.

PRAY: Lord Jesus, even my own sin drives me to You. May the sin in the world have that effect on many, that Your goodness is recognized and glorified, even in the mess we humans insist on making. You rebuked Peter for setting his mind on ‘comfortable’ yet You also made of him a strong testimony to Your grace. How badly I need that same power in my life that You may be exalted and the enemy resisted.

A Comforter always near...

This week has shown me how God can give peace and comfort when externals are in chaos. I’ve moved more than thirty times, but this one is the most challenging. How we gathered so much stuff in the past twelve years is a puzzle. I barely remember moving back then, but this one is far more difficult physically. Like my dad would say, “I’ve had too many birthdays.”

Today’s reading is a blessing. The author writes that God is “not far off in heaven where we cannot find Him” but close at hand. He abides with us. Just before Jesus left His disciples, He told them:

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever. (John 14:16)

That word ‘helper’ in the Greek is rich in meaning and describes much of what the Holy Spirit does including encourage, intercession, reminds of truth, and supplying what is needed. This Comforter excels in fulfilling this promise:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (John 14:27)

What words of assurance! I want them to sink deep in my heart and in the hearts of all God’s people. Our Comforter abides, always on hand when most needed. He give "the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.” (Isaiah 61:3)

My hubby was troubled this morning as the deadline looms to have our former home cleared and clean for listing it. He sat down and read some Psalms and received comfort. The Lord gives encouragement to me through my vivid imagination. I can visualize this new home without boxes, neat and orderly. I’m encouraged mostly by Scripture, even as events swirl around me or even those world news items that put fear into many hearts. I know that God is sovereign and not surprised at the raging of men and the foolishness that is happening. I also have read the entire history of the world that He left with us in His Word — and in the end, Jesus wins.

PRAY: Again, I’m so thankful that You, Jesus, promise us a peace that is beyond understanding, a peace that is not like the world gives. Through Your Spirit my heart can be at rest. Relying on You gives my heart comfort, even in the midst of boxes and mess. Jesus, You are always enough for me.

The Danger of being comfortable

Years ago someone told me that God helps in two basic ways. If I’m struggling in a rocky stream, He might remove the rocks, or He might deepen the water. I’ve noticed over the years that most prayer in troubled times asks that He removes the rocks.

Today’s reading defines comfort mostly as being comfortable without saying how God does it. Most of the examples describe ways He brings in something good that removes or replaces the distress. I looked up comfort and found that the Bible generally does the same, but with one exception. It is in these verses:

I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy. (2 Corinthians 7:4)
When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul. (Psalm 94:19)

Both speak of comfort in affliction rather than the affliction being taken away. Paul knew joy, even in his turmoils, as did the psalmist during the many burdens on his heart. God’s joy is a comfort, even when the circumstances do not change.

Another verse brings out the danger of wanting to be comfortable all the time. I could miss what God wants to do in my life with trials.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2–4)

This is not easy but possible. I have a friend who fell, broke both legs and her sternum, spent months in rehabilitation, yet was continually joyful. She was comforted by the Holy Spirit and comforted me with her attitude every time I visited her.

Another danger of wanting continual comfort is that it tends to make us indifferent to the sorrows of others. Someone once said, “I complained about my shoes until I met a man with no feet.”

C. S. Lewis wrote a book about Satan’s activities. He told one of his demons to keep his  prospect comfortable at all costs. If he should become concerned about anything of importance, then demon was to encourage him to think about his luncheon plans; not to worry, it could induce indigestion… “I, the devil, will always see to it that there are bad people. Your job… is to provide me with people who do not care.”

PRAY: Jesus, I’ve noticed in myself that when life is easy, I don’t pray or care for others the same way as I do when life is a challenge. Of the two meanings of comfort, being alleviated of sorrow or distress is desired, yet to be given emotional strength in that sorrow and distress means I will be more apt to honor You and rely on Your deeper water. From this, I am learning to trust Your judgement to do Your will rather than beg You to make my life easy.

Life is not a straight line…

Today will be difficult. We say goodbye to a friend who died in her sleep. No warning, too young, leaving husband and family in numbing shock as well as all who knew her. Even after two weeks, most of us have not realized the reality of what happened.

We knew her well. Her oldest lived with us while in university. The other daughter’s hubby handles financial matters for us. Their son has been on our prayer list for years. My husband and hers have breakfast together every few weeks.

To add to the pain of this loss, we just experienced the most wonderful family reunion that I cannot describe without awe for God. He graced us with His presence and even the many who are not believers still speak of the event with superlatives, not fully understanding what made it special but realizing it was a deep blessing.

And now we go to another extreme. I realize the Lord is in this too, but the feelings are not the same. Today’s reading reminds me that no height of spiritual blessing can absolve me from obedience and watchfulness. While I would like to dwell on the joy of the reunion, He wants me to share the sorrow of the bereaved. My stomach even churns with the swing from joy to overwhelming sorrow, from enjoying those deeply blessed to comforting those deeply grieving.

Yet the reading reminds me that Jesus is here in both extremes. He never stops wanting me to obey Him and never stops supplying what I need to do it:

… walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; (Colossians 1:10)

For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me. (Colossians 1:29)

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12–13)

It is folly to think that the heights of blessing will keep the enemy from trying to topple me from that mountain top. Usually his attacks are unexpected and differ from the last time he went at me. This past few days, the distraction has been physical as well as emotional. Praying this morning helped a great deal. Also my mom’s words, “We must need it or we wouldn’t be getting it” often give motivation to simply trust God. If He wants whatever is happening, I need to accept it. If He doesn’t want it, that attack stops as He goes to bat for me.

In other words, I can fight, but it is a fight of faith not of effort, for my God fights for me, and therefore I can be at peace. The externals may not change, but again, it is the peace of God who makes this change inside of me.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)

Understanding this peace may not happen, but experiencing it is a reality.

PRAY: Lord, even my devotions this morning were a turmoil and interrupted several times, but You are here with me and Your presence makes such a difference. Fill me with Your Spirit that I might glorify You today and not be absorbed today with the ups and downs of this past week. Thank You!

God uses suffering…

 

As I watch my hubby struggling to move in any direction without severe pain, God is making me more aware of the need to be disciplined, not so much about moving my body but about not letting it dictate to me what I can and cannot do.

A few weeks ago, it was my turn. After few days in the hospital, God turned my focus by showing me how easily I can let the desire for personal comfort be an ambition. Had Jesus done that, there would be no salvation or the opportunity to be united to Him. He would never have gone to the cross if He put His comfort above obedience.

For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering. (Hebrews 2:10)

It works the same in our perfecting. We suffer and in that suffering we learn to let God have His way with us. He could use it to comfort us for another reason…

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. (2 Corinthians 1:3–6)

This is how I learn empathy. If I am never sick, then I cannot understand the struggles of sick people, never mind feel their pain or comfort them.

But there is another lesson. God wants me to be perfected by suffering, meaning that I will seek the filling of the Holy Spirit and be bearing His fruit, including joy — rather than whining and feeling sorry for myself. I’m sure this is what Paul had in mind when he wrote:

But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. (1 Corinthians 9:27)

My hubby knows that God is using this pain in his life. Both of us see how the Lord has used pain in the life of our friend B.T. He is joyful all the time, no matter what is going on in his body. He is a delight to be around because God has perfected his spiritual walk with suffering.

Most people complain, run to the doctor or pills or booze, to get it fixed rather than seek the will of God. How badly we need that “Not my will but thine be done” attitude that Jesus had.

As for me, taking care of him involves loving patience and help with what he is unable to do because of the pain. He will heal and yet the larger thing is that through this, God has a great purpose.

PRAY: Lord Jesus, give my hubby what he needs to trust You in this trial. I thank You that he can laugh even in pain and seek Your face and Your will for him. Grant him the ability to surrender to You and wait on You for the blessings to come. And give me what I need to encourage and care for him.

God’s timing is remarkable.

 

READ Lamentations 1–5

Reading Lamentations today was helpful for several reasons. One is that I’ve been praying for revival and these five chapters describe in vivid and horrible detail what God’s OT people went through as He chastened them for their sin. Idolatry had destroyed their relationship with the LORD and His chastening nearly destroyed them. It’s important to know the NT affirms that there is no condemnation for those who believe in Jesus Christ. However, it is also clear that He chastens those He loves. Reading this passage helps me realize the seriousness of my prayer.

Second, while I know that Jesus bore my sin, Lamentations shows me the weight of sin that He bore. I cannot imagine His suffering on the cross. I’ve had some physical problems for the past day and a half and if I had any thoughts of self-pity, reading these chapters and thinking about Jesus drives them away.

Third, as awful as their situation was, Jeremiah threw out truths that were an anchor for his soul. These truths also stabilize me as they direct my heart to count my blessings.

Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. (Lamentations 3:19–27)

Yes, these past hours were not fun, but the LORD is with me and nothing can separate me from His love. He uses all things for good, even when I cannot see the good, at least not right away.

For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men. (Lamentations 3:31–33)

These chapter also remind me that God is sovereign. Whatever happens, He has reason for it and I can trust Him.

Who has spoken and it came to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that good and bad come? (Lamentations 3:37–38)

Most people think that the worst is death, but Jesus has destroyed the enemy who held the power of death. If I died this week, or next month, or in five years, I need not fear. Lamentations 3:58 is my anchor!

“You have taken up my cause, O Lord; you have redeemed my life.” Amen!