God knew . . .

God “chose us in [Christ] before the foundation of the world” (Ephesians 1:4).

This week, God gave me a profound and very personal truth. I had a childhood illness without knowing that my parents were informed I would die in my teen years. I grew up and am still alive, yet this event deeply affected the way I reacted to life. My parents took excellent care of me, yet much time alone resulted in the sense of being abandoned feeling and no one wanted me. The story is long and in no way about neglect from others, only that I interpreted people that way, interpretation that was not correct yet seemed true to me.

When Jesus came, the Bible showed me salvation was about failure and sin. Wanting to succeed and be acceptable to other people, I tried to do God’s will and confessed every sin that He pointed out to me. Yet learning to listen to God, the most frequent thing He kept saying was, “I am here. I will never leave you or forsake you.”

This week, He showed me why I needed to hear that. He kept repeating it because He knew if He didn’t, my lingering childhood perception of life (which was a lie) would destroy me.

Today’s devotional is about the widespread problem of a spiritual identity crisis. The writer says many people fail to “resolve the fundamental issues of who we are, why we exist, and where we’re going. Sadly, most people will live and die without ever understanding God’s purpose for their lives.”

I know why I am a Christian, yet only this week did I realize a host of other things about myself, such as why I am introverted. I’d rather be alone than be rejected — totally the wrong reason, but God said He used that to give me a hunger for His Word and a desire to “pray without ceasing.” In other words, He used a negative idea for good, to establish purpose for my life.

Since Eden and that first sin, humans have a spiritual void that separates us from the One who created and loves us. Each person experiences that void in diverse ways, and sadly try to fill the emptiness with all sorts of things that don’t quite do it. I did. I felt acceptable when praised for certain achievements, yet that feeling of being rejected never left. I felt accepted by certain people, but every one of them eventually let me down. It is only when saved and “in Christ” that I began to have a true sense of who I am and why I am here.

For one thing, I’ve no doubt that God Himself personally selected me to be His child. Before the world began, God set His love upon me and planned that Jesus would die to release me from sin and from the power of the devil and his lies.

But we ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers beloved by the Lord, because God chose you as the firstfruits to be saved, through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth. To this he called you through our gospel, so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Thessalonians 2:13–14)

This is eternal life, and this new life cannot be lost. Jesus said: “My Father, who has given (Elsie) to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch (her) out of the Father’s hand.” (John 10:29) I am not only “accepted in the beloved” but secure in His love and will never be forsaken, promises repeatedly made in His Word.

These truths I already knew, but seeing why I needed to know them has a deep and profound affect on me, as if light was shed in a dark place, dark but nameless and heavy — until now. My identity is “in Christ” and now I know a major reason why He has put me there; it was for the sin of unbelief and of believing a crippling lie. His redemption is a great act of gracious compassion and mercy for a lingering and self-centered lack of faith.

For the gospel and for all that, I am full of praise and worship with a deepened desire to glorify God. He keeps helping me know where I fit in His family and why. He also makes clear where I fit in this passage:

For consider your calling . . . not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1:26–31)

For His grace and goodness, I am grateful!

MORE: 2 Corinthians 12:9, Galatians 2:20, Ephesians 1,1 Peter 1:20, John 6:35–44, Romans 8:31–39