Holding God’s hand

 

Sometimes Christians tell me to be careful what I pray for. I understand why — because the answer is never what I expected and I often do not connect my prayer with what happens after praying it.

Not too long ago I prayed that God would remind me to always be relying on Him, always be thinking how much I need Him and that He is here for me. The past few days, I’ve had a pain in the lower inside of my knee. It is totally unpredictable. Not there Monday, nearly unbearable Tuesday, gone this morning. It occurs to me that this pain is His reminder. How can I do even the smallest chores? I could go to the clinic and get pain killers, or x-rays, or something, but the medical system right now is in a state that could easily have a long wait. Besides, if this is the answer to my prayer, it’s purpose, as with all trials, is to make me more like Jesus.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2–4)

Trials are not a test of pain tolerance, nor even wisdom, or the ability to endure discomfort. They are a test of faith. Will I trust God in this? Or will I panic? Give up? Whine? Hurry to get it fixed? Since Jesus was sinless and didn’t need reminders to rely on His heavenly Father, I cannot ask what would Jesus do, but I can see how He want me to trust Him in this. If I am to seek medical help, fine, yet I hear Him saying to seek Him every moment and He will direct me. He is using this to “cast out the chips, stones, and sand that mar the perfect purity of my clay.”

My devotional reading says I need to see my trials in this light to easily be able to say “Thy will be done.” God wants me to recognize that trouble means a blessing for me! The psalmist figured this out as he wrote of his people and how God worked in their lives:

Some were fools through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities suffered affliction; they loathed any kind of food, and they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy! … (Psalm 107:17–23)

The entire psalm tells of chastening that brought them back to praise God for His goodness and the way He worked in their lives, even as they repeatedly didn’t “get it” and had to learn over and over. Such is the power of self — even though this verse is true, that old nature fights and forgets it:

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

PRAY: Lord, I asked for a reminder and got it — not at all what I expected. I don’t know what will happen next. If the reminder works, will the knee pain go away? Or will You leave it there as a constant weakness that demands Your strength? Faith says I need to trust You, no matter what Your will is and rely on You. Because You are my Savior and I cannot save myself, I know what to do next — hold tight to Your hand.