Spiritual Gifts and Self-Esteem

Does everyone have issues with self-esteem? After studying this topic from every point of view and finally settling on the biblical version, God keeps “renewing my mind” (Romans 12:2) with His will on how I should think about myself. As a typical human being it is easy to go to extremes: pride one minute and pity-party the next. This is because I tend to look at accomplishments to evaluate how I am doing — but God looks at the heart.

This morning, still in Romans, I read this very familiar passage:

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. (Romans 12:3–8)

Verse 2 says I’m to let God renew my mind. Verse 3 says to think soberly with my level of faith. The next verse points to one body with many members, hinting at our differences. We are united in Christ yet do not all do the same things. All of this, including how I think about myself, is related to spiritual gifts.

Spiritual gifts are from God, given by His grace. They are not talents like playing the piano or painting a portrait or baking cookies. Instead, by the language used, they are ways of thinking that motivate Christians in what we do. This accounts for our different ways of thinking. For instance, those motivated to teach will somehow be involved in matters related to discovery and learning. Those with the gift of compassion want people to be happy and feel good.

In the pursuit of thinking rightly about myself, God urges me to learn more about these gifts and how they motivate those who have them. I’ve learned that a prophet (sometimes called a discerner) is motivated by a deep desire to have others know about God, sharing what His Word says and how God works. The teacher desires that others think God’s thoughts and know His ways and collects and dispenses information that helps that happen. Teachers may teach but also can be found working in libraries or doing research for a pastor.

The list goes on. Gift tests help Christians discover which gift is dominant in their life. Even though we have all seven motivations, one or two will be stronger than the rest. For me, it is the above two. I want to make God’s will heard and understood, and I want others to think His thoughts.

Those who have studied these gifts for many years find that the people who have them have similar characteristics, both positive and negative. The discerner-prophet is black and white in thinking and can be dogmatic to a flaw. The teacher is so wrapped up in gathering information that he or she can neglect to apply it to their own life.

All this and more is part of what God reveals about my nature. It also helps me understand our differences and know how to best work together as a team using our gifts. However, today the stress is on self-worth based on those gifts. I am not motivated to serve as much as I am motivated to pray and study the Scriptures. I’m least motivated to show compassion to someone suffering and more inclined to give them a book. I can put myself down for not being ‘everything’ yet this is not what God planned. Christians need one another and these gifts help us work in the areas where we are gifted instead of trying to put square pegs in round holes. That alone takes a big swipe at spiritual pride (I need people) but also stops pity-parties (People need me).

I’m told it is best to perfect one’s main gifts rather than trying to do better in the weaker areas. That is likely true yet God gives me opportunities to serve (take moving equipment to a friend), to give (support certain ministries), to lead (a prayer group), to exhort or encourage (tell the pastor how his sermon changed me) and to show mercy (take sandwiches to a family in a hospital waiting room). That is, a wholesome and well-rounded sense of self-worth comes from obeying God in whatever He asks, not merely focusing on areas of service that are more comfortable or more natural for me.

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Lord Jesus, this gives me food for thought for today. I get down on myself complaining that I can’t — and become proud when You bless something I did. The balance is not in the middle. It is like holding the tension between sinner/saint and realizing both are true. One of Your servants told me that doing a job poorly is better than not doing it at all. I’m thinking he meant that doing something I’m not gifted to do is better than saying no when You ask me to do such a task. To apply this, I need to be careful when asked to do something that does not ‘fit’ because it might be Your desire to prove that I can do all things through Christ who saved me!

Today’s thankful list . . .

Short chat with oldest son as he drives to work (speaker phone).

Lovely walk through our very green neighborhood.

Able to book a short vacation near the ocean.

Finding fabric for cushions that will look good with our sofa.

Hubby home early from work.

My feet stopped hurting for three days now.