Confession is good for the soul but obedience is good for the conscience . . .

Today is the last day to look at Romans, and as I thought, time was too short. The book I’m using sums up the rest of Romans with this: “The Christian is . . .  to have proper relationships to other individuals (12:9–21), to government (13:1–7), to society (13:8–14), and to Christians who differ from him in personal scruples (14:1–15:13).” I’ve a feeling God would speak to me each of these sections so read them until He did. I didn’t have to go very far:

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. (Romans 12:9–13)

In my words, this says: Do not fake an attitude of caring when I really don’t care. Watch out for an excessive interest in bad news forgetting to look for the good. Care for God’s family like I care for my physical family. If I want to be competitive, try to outdo others in showing respect! Don’t be lazy in my eagerness to follow Jesus yet do this in His spiritual power, not in my own strength. Remember that I’m serving Jesus, not my own agenda. Joy should be from what God has promised, not anything else including any personal achievements. I’m not to get irritated when life hands me lemons but trust God and endure whatever comes my way, praying all the time instead of trying to figure out what is going on and what I can do about it. Don’t worry about my own needs but look for ways to help others and take care of their needs. Open my home and my heart to whoever God puts in my path.

If I rated myself from one to ten, most of these things fall short of the half-way mark. I often fake it rather than rely on the Holy Spirit to make love genuine. I am drawn to read news with the worst headlines about evil stuff. Sometimes I do not have brotherly affection for my own brothers. I’m quick to disrespect others for the slightest reasons, am lazy and reluctant rather than zealous and fervent. I serve me too often and feel hopeless and joyless too often. I’m impatient, particularly when something needs fixing. Prayer is too often not my first solution or thought. I don’t meet needs because I keep myself uninformed so I don’t know about them, and having guests makes me feel exhausted.

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Lord Jesus, as I write that, I realize that after many years of faith in You, I still have a long way to go. I know You have forgiven my sins. I also know that the Holy Spirit changes lives and change is my destiny. I need to read and reread these ‘apply’ sections of Romans, continue to confess how far I fall short, and be far quicker to be filled with Your Spirit so I can be what I am supposed to be. Amen.

Today’s thankful list . . .

Another long walk in perfect weather.

Getting some of the stuff off my to-do list.

Photos from our daughter.

Technology that works.

Naps.

The ‘pause’ and ‘mute’ buttons on the remote.

Spiritual Gifts and Self-Esteem

Does everyone have issues with self-esteem? After studying this topic from every point of view and finally settling on the biblical version, God keeps “renewing my mind” (Romans 12:2) with His will on how I should think about myself. As a typical human being it is easy to go to extremes: pride one minute and pity-party the next. This is because I tend to look at accomplishments to evaluate how I am doing — but God looks at the heart.

This morning, still in Romans, I read this very familiar passage:

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. (Romans 12:3–8)

Verse 2 says I’m to let God renew my mind. Verse 3 says to think soberly with my level of faith. The next verse points to one body with many members, hinting at our differences. We are united in Christ yet do not all do the same things. All of this, including how I think about myself, is related to spiritual gifts.

Spiritual gifts are from God, given by His grace. They are not talents like playing the piano or painting a portrait or baking cookies. Instead, by the language used, they are ways of thinking that motivate Christians in what we do. This accounts for our different ways of thinking. For instance, those motivated to teach will somehow be involved in matters related to discovery and learning. Those with the gift of compassion want people to be happy and feel good.

In the pursuit of thinking rightly about myself, God urges me to learn more about these gifts and how they motivate those who have them. I’ve learned that a prophet (sometimes called a discerner) is motivated by a deep desire to have others know about God, sharing what His Word says and how God works. The teacher desires that others think God’s thoughts and know His ways and collects and dispenses information that helps that happen. Teachers may teach but also can be found working in libraries or doing research for a pastor.

The list goes on. Gift tests help Christians discover which gift is dominant in their life. Even though we have all seven motivations, one or two will be stronger than the rest. For me, it is the above two. I want to make God’s will heard and understood, and I want others to think His thoughts.

Those who have studied these gifts for many years find that the people who have them have similar characteristics, both positive and negative. The discerner-prophet is black and white in thinking and can be dogmatic to a flaw. The teacher is so wrapped up in gathering information that he or she can neglect to apply it to their own life.

All this and more is part of what God reveals about my nature. It also helps me understand our differences and know how to best work together as a team using our gifts. However, today the stress is on self-worth based on those gifts. I am not motivated to serve as much as I am motivated to pray and study the Scriptures. I’m least motivated to show compassion to someone suffering and more inclined to give them a book. I can put myself down for not being ‘everything’ yet this is not what God planned. Christians need one another and these gifts help us work in the areas where we are gifted instead of trying to put square pegs in round holes. That alone takes a big swipe at spiritual pride (I need people) but also stops pity-parties (People need me).

I’m told it is best to perfect one’s main gifts rather than trying to do better in the weaker areas. That is likely true yet God gives me opportunities to serve (take moving equipment to a friend), to give (support certain ministries), to lead (a prayer group), to exhort or encourage (tell the pastor how his sermon changed me) and to show mercy (take sandwiches to a family in a hospital waiting room). That is, a wholesome and well-rounded sense of self-worth comes from obeying God in whatever He asks, not merely focusing on areas of service that are more comfortable or more natural for me.

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Lord Jesus, this gives me food for thought for today. I get down on myself complaining that I can’t — and become proud when You bless something I did. The balance is not in the middle. It is like holding the tension between sinner/saint and realizing both are true. One of Your servants told me that doing a job poorly is better than not doing it at all. I’m thinking he meant that doing something I’m not gifted to do is better than saying no when You ask me to do such a task. To apply this, I need to be careful when asked to do something that does not ‘fit’ because it might be Your desire to prove that I can do all things through Christ who saved me!

Today’s thankful list . . .

Short chat with oldest son as he drives to work (speaker phone).

Lovely walk through our very green neighborhood.

Able to book a short vacation near the ocean.

Finding fabric for cushions that will look good with our sofa.

Hubby home early from work.

My feet stopped hurting for three days now.

Becoming a butterfly . . .

The dictionary says that metamorphosis, usually concerning insects or amphibians, is the process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages. In people, it means “a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means.”

I like that last definition because it agrees with the way the Bible uses the Greek version of this word. Here is translated “transformed” and is about being changed from the inside out . . .

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:1–2, emphasis mine)

The first eleven chapters of Romans describe salvation: why we need it and how God makes it happen. The next section describes how salvation transforms our lives. Those who have been given the life of Christ will do these things, beginning with presenting or offering their entire self to God, worshiping Him as living sacrifices.

A young missionary once said that “the only problem with living sacrifices is that they keep crawling off the altar.” At the time, that seemed funny but true. Now I realize that it isn’t the living sacrifice that does this because it never has the desire to move away from Jesus. Rather, it is the old sinful nature pulling me away from being totally dedicated to the Lord.

The rest of this passage is a big clue to why that happens — my mind needs to be renewed. Like the caterpillar that goes into a little case and is changed to a butterfly, my way of thinking needs renovating. However, I cannot do that; it is a supernatural task that only God can do.

I’m going through written copies of my thoughts about God from years past. Some of them are solidly biblical and giving me a smack because I saw truth then but it didn’t change me at the core of how I think. Perhaps I didn’t obey or I didn’t spend enough time in silence and meditation. I allowed distractions to take me off somewhere else.

Whatever the reasons, eventually many of those lessons did change my life, but only after experiences and trials that pressed me again and again back to that altar. I kept crawling off because my heart resisted God’s ideas in favor of my own.

Yet these two verses have always held a special place. I know that change is about yielding to God and resisting sin. I know that transformation is about thinking His thoughts and recognizing the dangers and depravity of my selfish ideas. It is also about focus. The butterfly is formed when the caterpillar is motionless. It does not try to fly before God forms its wings. Then it struggles to get out and, in that trial, it is strengthened. I tend to resist the trials, rush to the next things, and not take the time to focus on what God wants to do with me.

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Jesus, this process of sacrifice and transformation is the way to discern Your will. I try to find it the hard way (by foolishly trying my own way until I run out of ideas). Far better to let to take time to let You do Your renovating work in my mind. Only then can I be certain that doing things Your way is good, acceptable and perfect!

Today’s thankful list . . .

God gives me time to learn the lessons of change.

He also gives me the mind of Christ so I can think His thoughts.

Opportunity to help a young family move that has never moved before.

The wildlife reserve right beside our home with its walking trails.

After weeks of pain, my feet are not sore!

Progress on another quilt.

Costco’s seed and nut brittle.