Integrity is vital

At times I’ve tried to speak kindly to people that I don’t feel kindly toward. If another person always talks and never listens, I might act as if I care about all their stories but really don’t. If another person lies to me, I might be polite, but inside I’m not trusting them. If another person goes through the motions of paying attention but is not really listening, I often stop talking just to see what they will do.

I know that Jesus did not have this dual thing going on. He never sinned in pretense — to care when He didn’t because He always cared. He also knows what is in every heart and does not trust Himself to those who fake it. He deals in truth. As the NT says:

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. (John 1:17)

And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. (1 John 5:20)

Reading this shows the connection of inner character and outer behavior. If they do not match, then it is called hypocrisy or lack of integrity. Connecting that to ‘pretending to be nice’ means that I am not true to myself or to my inner feelings. The solution has two aspects.

One is to be true to how I really feel. Sometimes that is hurtful, but it can also be helpful — only if negative feelings are true about the other person and they are spoken in love like Jesus speaks. His words that expose my sinfulness are loving because He knows the destruction power of sin. He does not want me to go merrily about my bad attitudes so He speaks to me about them.

However, there are times when speaking to another person about their sin is not appropriate and it is better to talk to God about it and let Him deal with them. This means listening to the Holy Spirit to make sure I’m not being silent for the wrong reasons, such as fear of losing a friend.

When John wrote, “I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as we were commanded by the Father” (2 John 4) he was likely referring to gospel truth and the ‘children’ mentioned had faith in Christ, confessed their sins, and were growing more like Jesus. What stands out to me is that he rejoiced in this. If my attitude of “walking in truth” makes people joyful, that is a good thing. Some will not respond this way though because the truth is: unbelievers will hate those who have faith even to persecuting Christians in various ways.

All of this applies to how I think of Jesus. I can say that I know Him and trust Him, but what do I really think? Several verses tell me that His name says much about Him besides that He is truth. He is also Immanuel (which means, God with us (Matthew 1:23) and Light, and the only Way to the Father. Do my thoughts and actions match? Can I hide anything in my head or heart from Him? Not only that, if I say He is “Master” or “Lord” but am not obeying what He commands, do I really think that my Christian words can hide my thoughts from Him? My actions will eventually reveal them because if I really think He is my Lord, I will do what He says. And one of the things He says is:

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45)

This phrase “the abundance of the heart” is not about the fleeting things that fly in to tempt me, but about what my mind dwells on. If it is not on Christ and on doing the will of God, it is apt to be my will and my way — which translates to selfishness and sinful disobedience. Trying to look good on the outside does not cut it if my heart is unkind or even nasty. This is just one way I can call Jesus Lord but not do as He says.

PRAY: Jesus, more and more I’m seeing how thoughts connect to actions and how they need to match. This is not just about negative junk that needs to be confessed, but about truth concerning You that needs to be shared. I need wisdom and discernment from You to match how I think with how I behave and how I respond to others.