What about that ‘village gossip’. . . ?

 

 

READ Proverbs 17-20

A series of novels takes place during and after the first world war. Every story in this series has at least one “village gossip” usually more. Much of their talk is based on what they heard from someone else other than first- hand experience or on suppositions rather than truth which borders on slander.

Gossip is common, happens everywhere, and hardly anyone is exempt. Current social media could be renamed ‘The Village Gossip.’ Do any of us realize that the Word of God puts gossip in a few lists of serious sins?

In the NT, 2 Corinthians 12:20 lists “quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder” and Jesus said, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person . . . .” (Matthew 15:19–20)

In today’s reading, several verses warn against control of the tongue, particularly in this area of talking about other people in negative ways. These are strong reminders!

Gossip/slander ruin relationships and lives.

Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9)

Gossip/slander offend God.

He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous are both alike an abomination to the Lord. (Proverbs 17:15)

Gossip/slander identify fools.

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. (Proverbs 17:27–28)

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. (Proverbs 18:2)

A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body. (Proverbs 18:6–8)

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. (Proverbs 18:13)

Gossip/slander bring judgment against those who do it.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. (Proverbs 18:21)

A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will not escape. (Proverbs 19:5)

A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish. (Proverbs 19:9)

While there are times to identify sin and warn God’s people to avoid associating with liars, fools, and gossips, it is easy to slide over the line and spread information that is harmful to the reputation of someone else. When another person or a group I’m with begins to gossip, what can I do?

I remember a discussion with my sister. She said, “I just start gossiping about myself” — she changes the subject by telling stories about her own sinfulness or foolish behavior. Her humor came out as she described how embarrassing that is to her friends who love her and how quickly they change their whispers against someone else to a defense of her confessions with words like, “Oh no, not you . . . .”

In my own heart, I recognize why people tell stories that put down others. It is pride, envy, insecurity, or resentment. That is, I think I am better than others, or I want what they have, or I feel less of a person than they are, or they did something to hurt me. If I was the one gossiping, it would help me if my listener asked pointed questions and redirected the conversation to my root issue. Handling gossip this way requires loving concern for the person doing it, not using it as an exposing ploy.

Gossip really isn’t funny. I could defend the person who is the subject of the gossip, but what if the “have you heard this” story is true, then what? Some might suggest that “we should mind our own business” or tell the person talking to go directly to the person they are talking about as Jesus says in Matthew 18.

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” (Matthew 18:15)

If the gossip is false and slanderous, better to suggest ‘more research’ before siding with Satan who is the ‘father of lies’ and ‘the accuser’ of God’s people. Or in some cases, it’s good to simply walk away. Make sure the gossip ends with me and then do not associate with people who tell tales on others. Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler. (Proverbs 20:19)

Another response, and perhaps the best one, is to say, “Jesus is here. Let’s ask Him to help us respond in a godly way to this person’s needs and problems . . . ” then bow my head and start praying.