Ask better questions

The past day or so a loose cough seemed harmless, but it kept me awake all last night and I woke up with a dry, sore throat and feeling weak. Tested. It is not Covid, but it is not pleasant either. After more sleep, a bite of food and lots of water, I still feel yucky. This does not happen very often so my tendency is to feel sorry for myself.

Charnock uses this verse to combat my self-centered whimpering:

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)

He goes on to point out that believing God exists is not enough. I must also believe that He rewards those who seek Him. After all, even the demons believe and tremble. (James 2:19) and the whole world knows that God exists:

For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. (Romans 1:19–20)

The problem is not believing in the existence of God. Denying it makes such a person a fool. The problem is denying God’s goodness.

In God’s strange way of revealing truth, He uses today’s devotional to back up what Charnock wrote about more than one hundred years before. The devotional says if I want to see God, my inner questioning must be not about me, or why am I sick, but about Him. How does God feel toward me? Is His love for me warm enough? Has He enough zeal? Does He feel my need deeply enough? Is He sufficiently in earnest? 

These questions reflect anxiety in the human heart, yet by asking them, they expose the irreverence in my heart also. By asking them, I know the answers. Just as I know God exists, I also know that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. My doubts and disappointments at having a miserable day are silenced by turning my focus on who God is and what He has revealed to me. Truth about God grants a profound and absolute conviction that God is and must be enough.

Because God is, all must go right for us, even if I don’t understand it or don’t like it. God lives; His children must be cared for as well. What else could He do, being what He is? Neglect, indifference, forgetfulness, ignorance, are all impossible to God. He knows everything, He cares about everything, He can manage everything, and He loves us. What more could I ask?

When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:21–26)

PRAY: Lord, the cough is less yet the sense of weakness increases. But these wise writers know the truth, the value and benefit, even the reward of seeking You. You don’t always change my situation, but You do change my heart so that I can rejoice in trials and remember that You use all things for my good. Just asking the right questions enables me to rest in Your love and wisdom. Amen!