What about the last straw?

Sometimes we hear Christians in great trouble say, “There is nothing left for me now but to trust the Lord.” Others might respond with, “Oh dear, has come to that?”

Likely every believer has had moments like that, as if God is much less able to deliver us from trials than His promises would lead us to expect. It might even seems as if trusting Him means totally giving in to whatever has us in despair and never experiencing a return to ‘normal’ or seeing a change for the better.

To be honest, having this case of bacterial pneumonia sometimes has me feeling I will never get better and that trusting the Lord means living with fatigue and a continual cough for the rest of my life. Even verses like this one seem to add to my concerns at times, rather than encourage me:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us… (Ephesians 3:20)

I tend to think that instead of giving me a return to health, the “abundantly” of this verse means the ability to live with the problem. That means sleep much and not being able to spend much time with others. The Bible also reminds me:

But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”— (1 Corinthians 2:9)

However, that is not a promise that He will do what I want. It is a revelation that He is able to do what He wants for me without me being able to figure it out beforehand.

This should not bother me. I read fiction by Deborah Crombie, love being totally mystified, and feel great satisfaction when the end of the story comes and it makes complete sense. The trouble is, life is not like fiction and all trials do not end with “reader satisfaction” or happily ever after. I’ve a friend whose husband is dying of cancer, and another whose husband committed suicide. Certainly heaven will take away all pain, but right now, the only hope for inner peace is trusting the Lord — and for the two of them, that is one huge challenge.

It is for me too as I experience pain for them, a deep sorrow that makes my own situation seem small. Their struggles add to the helplessness of not being confident that God will ‘fix’ any of it. As already said this week, sometimes God doesn’t give us what we can handle, but helps us handle what we are given. Can I do that? Not without the Lord’s help.
 

PRAY: Jesus, again I think of what You said in the garden: “Not my will but thine be done” and while my situation is not even a tiny bit as horrid as what You faced, I understand the great challenge of yielding — no matter what. Grant me the ability to handle whatever You decide and do it with grace and in the power of the Holy Spirit — that You might be glorified.