When I was little, mother told us not to talk to strangers. These days, that rule is wise because the danger of abduction is very real. However, what happens when we become adults? How do we treat people we have never met, even at church?
For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? (James 2:2–4)
In our church culture these verses would only apply to ushers. However, I can think of more personal situations. For instance, my hubby helps with after brunch clean-up once a month. While he and the clean-up team do that, I find someone to talk with and it is always a person that I know. Yet those who linger after brunch can include new-comers or people I’ve never met. I never talk to them and not thought that this slight “favoritism” to talk to those I know is motivated by a selfish desire to make the conversation easier for me. Yet today’s devotional makes me think it might be.
MacArthur tells of a pastor who never ministered to an individual or family in his church without first checking a current record of their financial contributions. The more generous they were with their money, the more generous he was with his time. While that is an appalling display of favoritism, is it no worse than me playing favorites with who I talk to?
A few weeks ago, I was in another city and managed to have enjoyable conversations with several strangers. That was a lesson for me. Yet last week at a banquet, I saw a woman who looked crabby and I entertained no thoughts of even nodding hello. However, I had a name of a person that I wanted to speak with, and had a friend introduce me — to the woman who looked crabby. We had a delightful conversation. Another lesson.
It is not wrong to talk to those who look pleasant and are well-dressed or to chat with my friends. That is not the issue. The issue is what motivates me? Is it a love for others, or is it a desire to avoid discomfort or awkwardness? Is it to feel good myself? Or to help or bless another person?
My love for people is revealed in how I treat them. James says my choices could involve making distinctions, even judging others with sinful thoughts. All this is revealed when I do not treat people equally and select some over others when it is easier for me. If I avoid conversations with someone I’ve never talked to before for the sake of my own comfort, I’m guilty of favoritism.
As MacArthur says, favoritism can be subtle. He says, “That’s why you must be in prayer and in the Word, constantly allowing the Spirit to penetrate and purify your deepest, most secret motives.” I agree.
PRAY: Jesus, I praise You for always showing me how I can be more like You. Your motivations are never about Yourself. You speak to me to bless and purify my life. While I don’t have Your abilities, I can show others Your love, not for my own comfort but that they might know Your grace and blessing. Fill me with Your Spirit and grant me godly motivations and actions in my conversations with others.
PONDER: Read the above passage from James again, then read 1 Peter 2:17 and Romans 13:1. What is the difference between honoring others and partiality?
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