Is it okay to talk to strangers?

 

When I was little, mother told us not to talk to strangers. These days, that rule is wise because the danger of abduction is very real. However, what happens when we become adults? How do we treat people we have never met, even at church?

For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? (James 2:2–4)

In our church culture these verses would only apply to ushers. However, I can think of more personal situations. For instance, my hubby helps with after brunch clean-up once a month. While he and the clean-up team do that, I find someone to talk with and it is always a person that I know. Yet those who linger after brunch can include new-comers or people I’ve never met. I never talk to them and not thought that this slight “favoritism” to talk to those I know is motivated by a selfish desire to make the conversation easier for me. Yet today’s devotional makes me think it might be.

MacArthur tells of a pastor who never ministered to an individual or family in his church without first checking a current record of their financial contributions. The more generous they were with their money, the more generous he was with his time. While that is an appalling display of favoritism, is it no worse than me playing favorites with who I talk to?

A few weeks ago, I was in another city and managed to have enjoyable conversations with several strangers. That was a lesson for me. Yet last week at a banquet, I saw a woman who looked crabby and I entertained no thoughts of even nodding hello. However, I had a name of a person that I wanted to speak with, and had a friend introduce me — to the woman who looked crabby. We had a delightful conversation. Another lesson.

It is not wrong to talk to those who look pleasant and are well-dressed or to chat with my friends. That is not the issue. The issue is what motivates me? Is it a love for others, or is it a desire to avoid discomfort or awkwardness? Is it to feel good myself? Or to help or bless another person?

My love for people is revealed in how I treat them. James says my choices could involve making distinctions, even judging others with sinful thoughts. All this is revealed when I do not treat people equally and select some over others when it is easier for me. If I avoid conversations with someone I’ve never talked to before for the sake of my own comfort, I’m guilty of favoritism.

As MacArthur says, favoritism can be subtle. He says, “That’s why you must be in prayer and in the Word, constantly allowing the Spirit to penetrate and purify your deepest, most secret motives.” I agree.

PRAY: Jesus, I praise You for always showing me how I can be more like You. Your motivations are never about Yourself. You speak to me to bless and purify my life. While I don’t have Your abilities, I can show others Your love, not for my own comfort but that they might know Your grace and blessing. Fill me with Your Spirit and grant me godly motivations and actions in my conversations with others.

PONDER: Read the above passage from James again, then read 1 Peter 2:17 and Romans 13:1. What is the difference between honoring others and partiality?

 

 

Favoritism tested . . .

 

Partiality tests come in numerous ways. James gave this as one example:

My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? (James 2:1–4)

Jesus, the Lord of glory was not partial. Even though He is “the Word (who) became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14) and “in Him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily” (Colossians 2:9) the Pharisees knew. They “sent their disciples to him,  “Teacher, we know that you are true and teach the way of God truthfully, and you do not care about anyone’s opinion, for you are not swayed by appearances.” (Matthew 22:16)

Jesus told parables that also revealed His impartial attitude. In one, He spoke of a wedding where those invited did not show up so the father of the groom told his servants, “The wedding feast is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore to the main roads and invite to the wedding feast as many as you find.” They went out and gathered “both bad and good.” (Matthew 22:1–14)

I tend to be partial to those who obviously love Jesus and don’t enjoy the company of those wrapped up in themselves. They remind me of how my own short-comings concerning ‘me, myself, and I’ can easily be a favorite topic, yet whatever the reason for favoritism, God keeps telling me to be impartial, to be interested in everyone and kind, no matter who they are or how they behave.

Yesterday our church hosted the funeral of a man who once attended the church we once attended. Many came from that former church, some of prominent in leadership and some who showed up only now and then. It seemed important to meet and greet all of them, plus the strangers, and including our friends and the leaders in our church who conducted the service. After several hours of visiting with everyone, fatigue hit, but also a sense of having done what God wanted — no favoritism or impartiality.

James illustrated being impartial regarding what people were wearing. That happens in church. Yesterday there were men in shorts and men in suits, women in jeans and women in dresses. One pushed a walker. Some wore masks. Some sang the hymns, others did not. I did notice that I wanted to talk longer with those who praised the Lord but that didn’t seem like being partial so much as wanting a bright and transparent spot in a sea of people who were wearing polite funeral faces.

PRAY: Lord Jesus, thank You for being impartial and granting Your people that same grace. I note that You also called sin for what it is in the lives of the Pharisees and other religious people who rejected You. We still have “respected, religious leaders” who were threatened by Your humble, meek and powerful manner, much like those of Your day. Reaching out to others with no favoritism does not mean acceptance of their sinful behavior or that of anyone else. You never patted people on the head and told them they were okay when they were not. Being like You is a challenge in that You reached out to all but still called a spade a spade. How I need You to show me how to live!

PONDER: Matthew 22:1-14 describes the kingdom of heaven and likens God to a king whose son was going to be married. How does this parable show impartiality yet also shows God’s attitude toward sin?