Yesterday, at our local quilt guild’s show, I sat at the community service table chatting with the chairperson of that committee. A man came and began looking at the brochures from the various charities that receive our quilts. He focused on one from an organization that helps victims of abuse and began telling us how his sister-in-law was emotionally abusing his brother and he didn’t know what to do.
As much as I wanted to say something helpful, this verse came to mind: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19) and I realized this was not the time, nor the place, nor did I have the qualifications to advise him. We told him to take the brochure and see if that organization could help him.
MacArthur says this verse and much of James 3 is a warning not to rush into the role of a Bible teacher. While it certainly applies to taking on that role without God’s clear direction, it seems to cover more than talking out of turn in a formal teaching role. Watchman Nee, a Christian martyred for his faith, wrote that he went through lessons of learning to keep his mouth shut, then learning how to talk again. His remarks were tied to the first part of James 19 — being quick to hear. God would give the words — IF he were supposed to say anything in any situation.
The Lord God has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught. (Isaiah 50:4)
Pastors and Bible teachers can spend hours in study and listening to the Holy Spirit when preparing sermons and lessons. Those who are effective in this ministry know the value of listening when it comes to speaking. The average person in ordinary conversation is no different. If my conversations are to bless others, then I need to pay attention to what they are saying and what the Holy Spirit is giving me in response.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (Ephesians 4:29–30)
These verses suggest that being quick to speak grieves God’s Spirit because I am ignoring what He wants me to say, as if my thoughts and ideas are more important. Duh!
Not only that, James 3 indicates that without control of my tongue, all sorts of selfish notions will spew out, and instead of edifying others, I am apt to offend them. I need to be aware that giving my opinion could be construed as ‘teaching’ and James says that if I cannot bridle my tongue, I’m apt to be boasting, saying things that harm others instead of blessing them. Jesus did tell us to teach, but the content is specific:
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you . . . .” (Matthew 28:19–20, emphasis mine)
This is clear. I’m to share with others what God has taught me, not necessarily what I think they should know, or what someone else teaches, but the truths that I needed to hear in my own life. This implies that what I share will include why I needed that lesson, not spouted out in a “you should do this...” attitude — a teaching technique that others resist. People are edified to know they are not alone in their struggles against sin, rather than being admonished by someone who gives them rules to ‘fix’ their problems.
Being slow to speak also suggests that I must really listen to people as well as to the Holy Spirit. Many folks struggle with saying what they mean, or telling the whole story, or expressing the real problem. A good listener will find out far more than someone who is too quick to answer.
PRAY: Lord Jesus, You know my tendency to want to jump in with what I know instead of finding out what others need to hear. Enable me to be quick to hear You and to hear them, as well as being slow to speak my mind on any matter. My opinions can often give the message that I’m not really listening and when I speak them, I could easily be suggesting that others don’t know what they are talking about — an insult rather than an edification. Change this bad habit and help me be a better listener who really thinks before opening my mouth.
READ Proverbs 10:19, 13:3, 17:28, and 29:20, noting what each verse teaches about wise speech.
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