Speak the truth in love. . . .

 

Piper clarifies and challenges me at the same time. Today his devotional says: “Our job as Christians is not to control government and education. Our job is to speak God’s truth at every level. We may or may not change minds or laws. That is not our responsibility. Our responsibility is to speak with boldness and clarity what God would say.”

He is not advocating preaching on street corners or making judgments that rile those who  advocate ungodly ideas. Instead, he is telling me to speak truth whenever opportunities arise. A few weeks ago I was in a group who were discussing political issues. One of them said something about electing leaders who had got past that ‘old fashioned idea that (a certain sin)  was bad.’ That was one opportunity, but I missed it, partly because it her statement shocked me.

Another reason might have been that I didn’t want to rock the boat or publicly challenge her. And I was thinking in terms of challenging, not what Piper advises. Instead, he is saying I should declare my convictions without trying to control what others think. Just say what is true and I could be surprised that someone, even those person who say the opposite of what God says, is just waiting for someone to speak truth. The Bible says:

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” (Ephesians 5:11–14)

I’ve often wondered what “expose them” means, and also “to not speak of what is done in darkness.” These two directions seem opposite. However, the word ‘expose’ means to sternly admonish anyone who advocates shameful and sinful activities. Speaking truth to counter such activities has the effect of making darkness visible. That is, if someone talks about sinful deeds as if they are okay, and I say truth (from God) about those deeds, I am exposing them for what they are, rather than letting my silence give anyone the idea that I also approve of those deeds.
In other words, I could have said, “The Word of God forbids (that sin she mentioned) and also tells his people to not condone such behavior but call it what it is — sinful and not at all what He intends for our lives.”

To be blunt, talking like that takes guts. It means that truth must be fare more important to me than ‘making and keeping friends’ or being considered odd or old-fashioned.

To sum up this idea of defending truth, Piper quotes another verse and it should be one that governs how I respond to those who speak from a secular and ungodly perspective:

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Ephesians 5:15–17)

PRAY: Jesus, I certainly do not want to be careless or unwise or foolish. Nor do I want to waste time by neglecting to understand AND DO Your will. Forgive and remove my fears and enable me to be bold with truth when I hear someone speaking contrary to it and to You, not because I’m defending my ideas or trying to convince them, but when truth is spoken You can use it to shed light on the evil that so easily grips human hearts and minds.

Dealing with despair?

Piper begins today’s meditation with a comment that words do not always reveal the heart. He points to a verse spoken by Job whose ‘friends’ have rebuked him for what he has spoken during the despair he feels about the great losses in his life and about his perplexity that God is silent.

Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind? (Job 6:26)

Then Piper writes: “When in grief and pain and despair, people often say things they would not otherwise say. . . .  such as “Where is God?” Or, “There is no use in going on.” Or, “Nothing makes any sense.” Or, “There’s no hope for me.” Or, “If God were good, this couldn’t have happened.” He asks, “What shall we do with these words?”

While my experiences of despair are not like Job’s, it seems that if I am thinking or saying these words, it is because my flesh is talking. The Holy Spirit is not behind them for He would be supportive and encouraging. As soon as I recognize that, I need to confess it to God and seek His thoughts so my words are true rather than filled with dark thoughts.

Yesterday was a full, busy day, almost normal, but by suppertime, and for no reason I began feeling as if all was over, that I might die any minute. My body was yelling and my mind picked up that sense of despair. I had not felt tired, but dropped on the sofa during a loud hockey game on TV and fell sound asleep. A bit later, still thinking dark thoughts, I woke up and complained with mutterings, but not yelling, and then went to bed.

All this was gone in the morning. Was my speech from the night before like the wind that Job said? Piper says, “Let us not spend our time and energy reproving such words. They will be blown away of themselves, on the wind.” In other words, these words do not reveal truth about the state of my heart. Instead of being rooted in me, they were colored by temporary feelings.
In my view, they were tempered by self-pity. Instead of thinking of the power of God, and the triumph that comes when He takes me home (or even at the thought of it), I was thinking more about life undone, and not getting more of it so I could do what I want to do. Simply put, this is lack of trust in the wisdom and love of God. It is an attitude promoted by the world, the flesh, and the devil, and should be recognized as such.

As for Job, what else could he say? The flesh is not great at words like, “God will take care of me” or even, “Oh don’t pay any attention to me, I’m just having a pity-party.” I’m fully aware that many times I just need a sharp rebuke, not for my words but maybe a prompt like, “What is making you think that way?” to get my focus off things that I don’t really believe and turned to something like:

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. (1 John 1:8–2:1)

The words are just wind for they are not real or true, but they are serious enough to reflect that I’m saying stuff that counters what God says. In other words, I am true and God is lying? Since that is close to blasphemy, then praying for a strong wind is called for.

Jesus is just that. He takes the selfish thoughts and words to the Father seeking forgiveness for me, not based on “She is just ignorant and thoughtless” but on “I died for that outburst and cover those dark thoughts with My blood.”

Job was not being flippant. He was not saying his words were not worth worrying about but that his mind was tripped up by his losses and that reproving him for his complaints was like telling the wind to stop blowing. He needed the words of the Holy Spirit and truth, not a reproof. Nothing less than the Word of God would help him in his situation. The same is true for me.

PRAY: Lord, this is a lesson for me. I know to seek You when I feel terrible about life, but how do I treat others when their words reveal the same feelings? A downcast person needs truth spoken in love, not a rebuke for their self-pity. A rebuke is like a hurricane when what is needed is the gentle breeze of Your wisdom and grace. Help me to stop blowing gale-force and be more considerate of how to deal with those who speak despairing words.

 

God knows me — He just wants me to agree with Him

While God tells us not to have personal bias toward others, it happens. My particular bias is toward those who are transparent, honest about their situation, emotions, desires, and opinions. They never leave me guessing about anything concerning them.

While God does not have to guess, it seems to me that He wants me to be transparent as well. As the psalmist declared, He knows anyway…

O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. (Psalm 139:1–4)

However, the essence of confessing sin is being honest with God, telling Him what I have done and how my attitudes and thinking have been sinful. Since sin resists this and my old nature wants to look good regardless of what I am really like, sin’s tendency is to excuse it, or fake it, to try and portray to others what I think will impress them rather than being honest.

Honesty can be blunt and even unkind. This is why the NT clearly says,

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (Ephesians 4:15–16)

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. (Ephesians 4:25)

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)

Today’s reading points to this desire of God and how He used painful circumstances in the life of Job to accomplish it. First, it was God who was in control even though Satan did the work:

And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.” So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord…. And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, he is in your hand; only spare his life.” (Job 1:12 & 2:6)

Job lost everything, including his children. He was struck with sores and in pain. He complained yet at times revealed his faith in God. Finally, God spoke and showed this man how much he did not know, and Job said:

“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. ‘Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.’ I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:1–6)

Then the Lord spoke to those who had accused Job that he was in this situation because of sin: “My anger burns against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.” (Job 42:7)

What did God mean? That all Job’s complaints were right? Or that his confession was right? Or was it that Job continually expressed what his heart was telling him, and finally he realized that he didn’t know everything about God?

The reading makes the point that when life is horrid, like Job’s life, God has purpose in it, and that purpose might be to show me what my heart is really like and how much I need the grace of God. Otherwise, my top priority is me — when I need to “despise myself and repent” of being entirely self-centered before God.

PRAY: Jesus, a recent temptation in which I didn’t do that well is still bugging me, and this reading makes me realize that confessing my attitude is not enough. Like Job, I need to despise that old dead selfishness and turn from it with all my heart. You want my love for You to be total, covering all areas of life, not just those that others can see. You want total transparency from me I can hide some things but “O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.” (Psalm 69:5)

 

Talking, Listening and Loving Others

Always having difficulty with ‘small talk’ seemed to me like a smattering of autism. Is that my problem or could there be other reasons? I had a childhood illness and was alone in recovery for months at a time rather than at school with others learning how to relate to peers. Or is this the result of moving 32 times and not having time to build relationships? Or is it because I’d rather work alone and in silence? Or that I’m simply not interested in the ordinary stuff of life? All I know for certain is listening is easier than talking when it comes to ‘useless’ conversation. Then I read this about love and about saying useless things, either in small talk or in deeper conversation:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. (1 Corinthians 13:1)

MacArthur begins today’s devotion by saying that love distinguishes true communication from useless chatter and meaningless noises. This hits me. I’m to not reject useless conversation or insist on deeper conversation but consider my motivations. Rather than being polite when bored, He wants me to show love to those whose interests are not usually interesting to me. Rather than wanting deeper conversations, He wants me to focus on others rather than on my wants. In other words, love is interested in conveying itself through words, no matter the topic. Instead of autism, I’m often just selfish and want to talk only about things that interest me.

In Bible times, the church at Corinth loved showy gifts like speaking in tongues (see 1 Corinthians 12:12-31). This was a Spirit-given ability to speak God’s truth in a language unknown to the speaker but known to others who heard. It was a sign to provoke unbelieving people to consider the gospel and first happened on the Day of Pentecost when Christians were able to tell the crowds about Jesus in their native languages (see Acts 2:4–11).

In today’s verse, this “tongues” was not about this gift but an exaggeration: “If I had the ability to communicate with angels, it would be useless without love.” Besides, in that culture many people worshiped pagan gods by speaking in ecstatic languages accompanied by blaring trumpets, smashing gongs, and clanging cymbals. In other words, whenever Christians attempt to minister in words apart from God’s love, it is like a pagan rites and useless, even deceptive.

God makes it clear that His love involves humility, obedience, and sacrifice. It is not about showing off my gifts or doing anything apart from what His Word says, or about motivation for any personal gain. I’ve heard others boast about speaking in tongues. I’ve also heard pastors described as “good speakers” when they should have been noted as being filled with and enabled by the Holy Spirit to speak the truth in love not just make nice-sounding noise.

Then and now, small talk can be the doorway to meaningful conversation. I must let the words of others be opportunities to show care for even the trivial details of life. Isn’t God like that? He numbers the hairs on our heads and an unsaved man said to my husband yesterday, “I think God is trying to show me something. So many little things are happening that are out of my control yet for my good. It must be God.”

PRAY: Jesus, being like You includes being interested in the lives of others. It does not matter if they tell me about their dreams and nightmares, or merely relate the unexciting events of their day. Whether someone speaks of deeper issues or their favorite brand of cereal, it can be an opportunity to show them Your love by listening with interest, asking questions to show I/You care, and expressing they are important. This also needs to be real (I know when others are merely being polite or faking it) so enable my interest to be as real as You are! This is about using the gifts You give, so may that be real to others too.

PONDER: Think about other ways that speech and listening are connected to the love of God. Consider verses like James 1:19, Ephesians 4:29 and Colossians 4:6.