Dealing with despair?

Piper begins today’s meditation with a comment that words do not always reveal the heart. He points to a verse spoken by Job whose ‘friends’ have rebuked him for what he has spoken during the despair he feels about the great losses in his life and about his perplexity that God is silent.

Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind? (Job 6:26)

Then Piper writes: “When in grief and pain and despair, people often say things they would not otherwise say. . . .  such as “Where is God?” Or, “There is no use in going on.” Or, “Nothing makes any sense.” Or, “There’s no hope for me.” Or, “If God were good, this couldn’t have happened.” He asks, “What shall we do with these words?”

While my experiences of despair are not like Job’s, it seems that if I am thinking or saying these words, it is because my flesh is talking. The Holy Spirit is not behind them for He would be supportive and encouraging. As soon as I recognize that, I need to confess it to God and seek His thoughts so my words are true rather than filled with dark thoughts.

Yesterday was a full, busy day, almost normal, but by suppertime, and for no reason I began feeling as if all was over, that I might die any minute. My body was yelling and my mind picked up that sense of despair. I had not felt tired, but dropped on the sofa during a loud hockey game on TV and fell sound asleep. A bit later, still thinking dark thoughts, I woke up and complained with mutterings, but not yelling, and then went to bed.

All this was gone in the morning. Was my speech from the night before like the wind that Job said? Piper says, “Let us not spend our time and energy reproving such words. They will be blown away of themselves, on the wind.” In other words, these words do not reveal truth about the state of my heart. Instead of being rooted in me, they were colored by temporary feelings.
In my view, they were tempered by self-pity. Instead of thinking of the power of God, and the triumph that comes when He takes me home (or even at the thought of it), I was thinking more about life undone, and not getting more of it so I could do what I want to do. Simply put, this is lack of trust in the wisdom and love of God. It is an attitude promoted by the world, the flesh, and the devil, and should be recognized as such.

As for Job, what else could he say? The flesh is not great at words like, “God will take care of me” or even, “Oh don’t pay any attention to me, I’m just having a pity-party.” I’m fully aware that many times I just need a sharp rebuke, not for my words but maybe a prompt like, “What is making you think that way?” to get my focus off things that I don’t really believe and turned to something like:

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. (1 John 1:8–2:1)

The words are just wind for they are not real or true, but they are serious enough to reflect that I’m saying stuff that counters what God says. In other words, I am true and God is lying? Since that is close to blasphemy, then praying for a strong wind is called for.

Jesus is just that. He takes the selfish thoughts and words to the Father seeking forgiveness for me, not based on “She is just ignorant and thoughtless” but on “I died for that outburst and cover those dark thoughts with My blood.”

Job was not being flippant. He was not saying his words were not worth worrying about but that his mind was tripped up by his losses and that reproving him for his complaints was like telling the wind to stop blowing. He needed the words of the Holy Spirit and truth, not a reproof. Nothing less than the Word of God would help him in his situation. The same is true for me.

PRAY: Lord, this is a lesson for me. I know to seek You when I feel terrible about life, but how do I treat others when their words reveal the same feelings? A downcast person needs truth spoken in love, not a rebuke for their self-pity. A rebuke is like a hurricane when what is needed is the gentle breeze of Your wisdom and grace. Help me to stop blowing gale-force and be more considerate of how to deal with those who speak despairing words.

 

Jesus is the Hand in this glove

 

When a person is drafted into military service, they begin that life by being taught how to live it. While some of those principles apply to civilian life, doing them does not make that person a soldier or a marine or whatever part of the military they aspire to become. They must first be enlisted.

This is also true of becoming a Christian. I began that life when God called me to Himself. Then He began to teach me how to live it. Sadly, those principles are often preached to civilians who cannot live like members of God’s family until they are members, because without that calling, they do not have what is needed to be it. All efforts are self-effort and even if those things seem to be the right things, doing them without faith is what the Bible calls sin.

Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14:23)

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. (Isaiah 53:6)

(Jesus said) Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:4–5)

In this world, a person can enlist in the army when they hear the call to do so. In the spiritual realm, that call is something like “Uncle Sam wants you” only it is Jesus doing the calling. Many Christians attest to hearing Him call and that it comes to them when they were ready to hear it. Some  might say no to the existence of God, or no to the reality of their sinfulness, or no to all sorts of ideas they have about religion and the church, but when Jesus calls, that invitation is irresistible.

I remember one woman who said she heard the gospel at camp when she went there to pick up her sister. She had no intentions of listening never mind responding, but when she heard Jesus, she  tightly grabbed the chair in front of her to keep herself seated. It didn’t work. She went forward, was filled with faith and saved.

This happened also to Saul who became Paul. He was on a road planning to destroy Christians when Jesus called him and transformed his life. From that time on, he became a mighty soldier of God. While not so dramatic, God did the same in my life. He walked into my living room and revealed such powerful truth to me about Himself that saying no was impossible.

My point is that God never asked me to first give up my old life, to be poor in spirit, to deny self, or anything like that. He just gave me faith to believe that Jesus died for my sin, that Jesus is God in human flesh and wanted me in His kingdom. I knew this was true. The training to live for Him came after that and because He had come to live in me, I had the ability and the desire to do His will.

PRAY: Jesus, You know that we who sin cannot save ourselves nor can we do any of the things You require unless we have You in our lives. Any self-effort is just that — self-effort, and because it is, we “go our own way” instead of the way that You clearly say is the only way: “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) and Paul affirms it: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8–9) I cannot claim any part of becoming Your child as something I did. You are the Savior and You did it all and are still doing all as You enable me to live as Your soldier and Your child.

God’s Absolute Faithfulness

A pastor was asked if temptation was a sin. He replied, “You cannot stop a bird from flying over your head, but you don’t have to let it build a nest in your hair.”

He implied that the world, the flesh, and the devil will call out to me in various ways, but I must not dwell on what they say, suggest, or how they make their appeal. I  cannot stop those suggestions nor can I block any doubts that come to me any more than I can hinder someone from saying nasty words as I walk by, yet I am not doing anything wrong by hearing the temptation. I can refuse to listen.

It is the same with doubts. I can dwell on them, join in with them, consent to them and adopt them as true — or I can turn from them and to the truth that God gives me.

The world might say, ‘Faith in God is foolish. Being a Christian has too many rules and spoils your fun.’ Do I know the truth that smacks down that line?

The flesh might say, ‘God is not in charge of your life. If He was good, this … would never be happening to you. There is no reason for you to be suffering. Escape…’ Do I know the truth about God’s power and sovereignty, about His love for me and the purpose of suffering?

The devil continually bombards me with stuff like: ‘God does not really want the best for you. This isn’t really so bad; everyone does it so it must be okay.’ Can I reply to those slanders of God with truth that hits them out of my mind?

Today’s devotional puts emphasis on the value of reading and knowing the Word of God for it also tells me what God is like and reminds me of what He has already done. It gives me answers to the subtle and not so subtle suggestions that come to me as temptations to doubt Him. While I have a choice and can believe the lies, I also know that doing so robs me of joy and the goodness of knowing my God is faithful.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)

Yet there is another ‘lie’ that is often missed. It is the lie that says, ‘You can do it, You’ve got this’ and other versions that say I am able to handle anything if I just decide to do so and try harder. The Word of God says otherwise as does my own experience. I cannot be godly or battle sin without Jesus Christ. My confidence can never be in my own strength. Instead, the victory over temptation comes with a confession of weakness, never a determination to try harder. In the battle against lies and temptations, the only way to win is by yielding to God, by looking to Jesus.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. (Hebrews 12:1–4)

Jesus is the Savior. I am not. He is faithful. I am not. He will “sustain me to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom I was called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1:4–9) Note also the order of actions in this verse:

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)

I cannot rid myself of the devil and his lies, nor the world and its thinking, nor the flesh as it tries to resurrect itself from being dead unless I am submitted to God first, then resisting the lies of temptation. Trusting and believing is only part of the weapon; obedience is the sharpest sword to put doubts and nest-building from happening, perhaps even from showing up.

PRAY: Jesus, I need You to keep me safe from the lies that fly about me, even the lie that ‘try harder’ will work. Enable me to practice a continuous habit of believing You and having discernment against temptation and doubt. Only You can make them vanish and replace them with the glory of Your absolute faithfulness.  

Living by the Spirit

Today ends the readings in Galatians. It also marks for me a much deeper recognition of the power of the old nature. My sinful self can take even legitimate desires like the hunger for food, the desire to do well, and a dozen other things and try to fulfill them in ways that God does not sanction.

I’ve been reading Atomic Habits and it uses ordinary life to show how easily I have formed bad habits. While I don’t agree with the ways he suggests how to change those (he knows nothing about confession of sin and relying on Jesus), I can certainly see things that need to be changed. Some of them are not too vital but one or two involved fleshy responses to personal needs. They don’t work. They also deny God.

I’m convicted as I read again about the false teachers in Galatia who were luring the church away from trusting God. They wanted to keep one Law of God and were convinced that this made them better than others who didn’t do the same as they did. All their efforts were sinful and from the flesh . . .

It is those who want to make a good showing in the flesh who would force you to be circumcised, and only in order that they may not be persecuted for the cross of Christ. For even those who are circumcised do not themselves keep the law, but they desire to have you circumcised that they may boast in your flesh. But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. For neither circumcision counts for anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creation. And as for all who walk by this rule, peace and mercy be upon them, and upon the Israel of God. (Galatians 6:12–16)

I tried reading this passage by substituting things that Christians can get hung up on. Some are silly, at least to me, like “Men must wear a suit and tie to church” or “Women must wear a hat to church.” I’ve known church-goers who insist on such ‘rules’ and try to convince others to conform. This is folly and fleshy.

As for my fleshy ways, most are rooted in deeper issues. If I read them into this passage, I can see the black and white that before has been gray. The black is stop relying on the flesh to fill the gaps in my life. The white is putting all my trust in Jesus who has promised to meet all my needs . . . and if He doesn’t, to trust Him anyway! The gray is not realizing that I was in a fog.

The author of the Bible study book I am reading says this: “When applied, the Gospel gives the individual freedom from bondage to sin, victory over the flesh (the old nature within), and the ability to show forth works of righteousness. All this is set within the framework of the work of the Holy Spirit in the believer’s life.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Jesus, You know my heart. I recently prayed the request in Psalm 139: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23–24) and You have again answered that prayer. I know the only way to stop living according to the flesh in any part of my life is to confess the sin, trusting You to forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). And You add: “If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit” (Galatians 5:25).

Today’s thankful list . . .

Another day of sunshine and clear blue sky.

Another long walk in a lovely day.

My hairdresser.

Kids making mac and cheese amid lots of noise.

Chocolate bars.

Leftover Asian food.

Talented artists.

The ability to make design changes out of mistakes.