Dealing with despair?

Piper begins today’s meditation with a comment that words do not always reveal the heart. He points to a verse spoken by Job whose ‘friends’ have rebuked him for what he has spoken during the despair he feels about the great losses in his life and about his perplexity that God is silent.

Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind? (Job 6:26)

Then Piper writes: “When in grief and pain and despair, people often say things they would not otherwise say. . . .  such as “Where is God?” Or, “There is no use in going on.” Or, “Nothing makes any sense.” Or, “There’s no hope for me.” Or, “If God were good, this couldn’t have happened.” He asks, “What shall we do with these words?”

While my experiences of despair are not like Job’s, it seems that if I am thinking or saying these words, it is because my flesh is talking. The Holy Spirit is not behind them for He would be supportive and encouraging. As soon as I recognize that, I need to confess it to God and seek His thoughts so my words are true rather than filled with dark thoughts.

Yesterday was a full, busy day, almost normal, but by suppertime, and for no reason I began feeling as if all was over, that I might die any minute. My body was yelling and my mind picked up that sense of despair. I had not felt tired, but dropped on the sofa during a loud hockey game on TV and fell sound asleep. A bit later, still thinking dark thoughts, I woke up and complained with mutterings, but not yelling, and then went to bed.

All this was gone in the morning. Was my speech from the night before like the wind that Job said? Piper says, “Let us not spend our time and energy reproving such words. They will be blown away of themselves, on the wind.” In other words, these words do not reveal truth about the state of my heart. Instead of being rooted in me, they were colored by temporary feelings.
In my view, they were tempered by self-pity. Instead of thinking of the power of God, and the triumph that comes when He takes me home (or even at the thought of it), I was thinking more about life undone, and not getting more of it so I could do what I want to do. Simply put, this is lack of trust in the wisdom and love of God. It is an attitude promoted by the world, the flesh, and the devil, and should be recognized as such.

As for Job, what else could he say? The flesh is not great at words like, “God will take care of me” or even, “Oh don’t pay any attention to me, I’m just having a pity-party.” I’m fully aware that many times I just need a sharp rebuke, not for my words but maybe a prompt like, “What is making you think that way?” to get my focus off things that I don’t really believe and turned to something like:

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. (1 John 1:8–2:1)

The words are just wind for they are not real or true, but they are serious enough to reflect that I’m saying stuff that counters what God says. In other words, I am true and God is lying? Since that is close to blasphemy, then praying for a strong wind is called for.

Jesus is just that. He takes the selfish thoughts and words to the Father seeking forgiveness for me, not based on “She is just ignorant and thoughtless” but on “I died for that outburst and cover those dark thoughts with My blood.”

Job was not being flippant. He was not saying his words were not worth worrying about but that his mind was tripped up by his losses and that reproving him for his complaints was like telling the wind to stop blowing. He needed the words of the Holy Spirit and truth, not a reproof. Nothing less than the Word of God would help him in his situation. The same is true for me.

PRAY: Lord, this is a lesson for me. I know to seek You when I feel terrible about life, but how do I treat others when their words reveal the same feelings? A downcast person needs truth spoken in love, not a rebuke for their self-pity. A rebuke is like a hurricane when what is needed is the gentle breeze of Your wisdom and grace. Help me to stop blowing gale-force and be more considerate of how to deal with those who speak despairing words.