Dealing with despair?

Piper begins today’s meditation with a comment that words do not always reveal the heart. He points to a verse spoken by Job whose ‘friends’ have rebuked him for what he has spoken during the despair he feels about the great losses in his life and about his perplexity that God is silent.

Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind? (Job 6:26)

Then Piper writes: “When in grief and pain and despair, people often say things they would not otherwise say. . . .  such as “Where is God?” Or, “There is no use in going on.” Or, “Nothing makes any sense.” Or, “There’s no hope for me.” Or, “If God were good, this couldn’t have happened.” He asks, “What shall we do with these words?”

While my experiences of despair are not like Job’s, it seems that if I am thinking or saying these words, it is because my flesh is talking. The Holy Spirit is not behind them for He would be supportive and encouraging. As soon as I recognize that, I need to confess it to God and seek His thoughts so my words are true rather than filled with dark thoughts.

Yesterday was a full, busy day, almost normal, but by suppertime, and for no reason I began feeling as if all was over, that I might die any minute. My body was yelling and my mind picked up that sense of despair. I had not felt tired, but dropped on the sofa during a loud hockey game on TV and fell sound asleep. A bit later, still thinking dark thoughts, I woke up and complained with mutterings, but not yelling, and then went to bed.

All this was gone in the morning. Was my speech from the night before like the wind that Job said? Piper says, “Let us not spend our time and energy reproving such words. They will be blown away of themselves, on the wind.” In other words, these words do not reveal truth about the state of my heart. Instead of being rooted in me, they were colored by temporary feelings.
In my view, they were tempered by self-pity. Instead of thinking of the power of God, and the triumph that comes when He takes me home (or even at the thought of it), I was thinking more about life undone, and not getting more of it so I could do what I want to do. Simply put, this is lack of trust in the wisdom and love of God. It is an attitude promoted by the world, the flesh, and the devil, and should be recognized as such.

As for Job, what else could he say? The flesh is not great at words like, “God will take care of me” or even, “Oh don’t pay any attention to me, I’m just having a pity-party.” I’m fully aware that many times I just need a sharp rebuke, not for my words but maybe a prompt like, “What is making you think that way?” to get my focus off things that I don’t really believe and turned to something like:

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. (1 John 1:8–2:1)

The words are just wind for they are not real or true, but they are serious enough to reflect that I’m saying stuff that counters what God says. In other words, I am true and God is lying? Since that is close to blasphemy, then praying for a strong wind is called for.

Jesus is just that. He takes the selfish thoughts and words to the Father seeking forgiveness for me, not based on “She is just ignorant and thoughtless” but on “I died for that outburst and cover those dark thoughts with My blood.”

Job was not being flippant. He was not saying his words were not worth worrying about but that his mind was tripped up by his losses and that reproving him for his complaints was like telling the wind to stop blowing. He needed the words of the Holy Spirit and truth, not a reproof. Nothing less than the Word of God would help him in his situation. The same is true for me.

PRAY: Lord, this is a lesson for me. I know to seek You when I feel terrible about life, but how do I treat others when their words reveal the same feelings? A downcast person needs truth spoken in love, not a rebuke for their self-pity. A rebuke is like a hurricane when what is needed is the gentle breeze of Your wisdom and grace. Help me to stop blowing gale-force and be more considerate of how to deal with those who speak despairing words.

 

Priorities

 

READ Luke 9-12

These chapters note what Jesus values, things that should be vital for me. First, He gives authority to His followers over demons and the power to cure diseases, taking nothing with them but totally relying on Him, a lesson that I also must learn.

Jesus shows His power to take care of daily needs by feeding a huge crowd with only five loaves and two fish, winding up with twelve baskets of leftovers. He can take care of my needs too, and then some.

When Peter realized Jesus was “The Christ of God” and that Jesus must suffer and be killed, and raised again to life, He also revealed His disciples must be willing to die. It is in yielding myself to Him that I receive life in His eternal kingdom. Those who do not know this assume that Jesus was a good teacher who told us how to live, not realizing that Jesus came to give us life, a life that begins with faith and never ends, life that cannot be destroyed by death. Three of them saw Him in His glory on a mountain and were dumbfounded. I am dumbfounded. Seeing the glory of God in the pages of His Book is incredible.

Jesus rebuked an unclean spirit and healed a boy —and “all were astonished at the majesty of God.” Yet even as they marveled at everything He was doing; He told the twelve that He would die — but they didn’t get it and argued who was the greatest. Even as Jesus told them “who is least among you all is the one who is great” they didn’t get it. I pray for those who don’t get it because I know that God must reveal truth about Jesus to them.

“Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 16:17)

In His day, Jesus was accepted by some and rejected by many. Nothing has changed. Is it because “His face was set toward Jerusalem” and the cross? Following Jesus means setting my face to a dying, to putting my hand to the plow and not looking back, as He said. (Luke 9:57-62) Only trusting Him completely makes that a viable option because He says this to me too: “Go your way; behold, I am sending you out as lambs in the midst of wolves” and “The one who hears you hears me, and the one who rejects you rejects me, and the one who rejects me rejects him who sent me.” (10:3; 16) Being a Christian means counting the cost.

Even success in those battles to share His grace with others is not my greatest cause for joy; rather it is the joy that knows my name is written in heaven.

Jesus rejoices that the Father reveals these truths and His identity to His “little children” for He knows we are blessed to see what others cannot see. But the life He calls me to is not anything like it was before. I am called to love my enemies, do good to those who hate me, and show mercy to needy and broken people. My sinful self prefers to focus on me.

I am called to sit at His feet and learn from Him, a priority over rushing about in service. Some who do the rushing resent this. I am also called to pray with a focus on eternal matters as well as daily needs, and called to spiritual warfare, something many either scoff at or twist its meaning, but it is a real battle. I am to let the light I have shine, not hide my faith, nor get caught up in religious activities that have no value. And never am I to be guilty of hypocrisy — in a world where many prefer deception and pretense.

Jesus even goes so far to say that when talking to anyone, including authorities who might challenge me, I must “not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” (12:11-12) It is not easy to trust Jesus for words that can mean rejection or death.

Being a Christian means storing up eternal treasure. None of the stuff I have goes into eternity with me. He tells me to remove “Eat, drink, be merry” off my to-do list and trust Him for all daily needs:

And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried . . .  Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. “Fear not . . . for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom . . .  For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (12:29–34)

There is more but as He prods me to think about priorities, then what about Christmas? The gifts, festivities, being with family and friends are great, but the priority is celebrating the deep truth that God came here to live and die and rise again for us — for me, so I will live and die and rise again to be with Him. That is the wonder, and that is what makes Christmas such a joy!