May Jesus be glorified…

God works in incredible ways. Yesterday I prayed long and often for a person in a far-away hospital receiving rare treatment that could be dangerous. This person is constantly on my mind and even as I tried to leave her in the hands of God, I wanted to know how she is managing, what is happening. I called, no answer. I emailed and texted; nothing. This has gone on for a few weeks.

My prayer yesterday was partly about my struggle to let “faith be the evidence of things not seen” rather than asking God to give me something I could see. Still, I could not get her out of my mind. Yet I also was surprised at some of the words that came out as I prayed. It was more Holy Spirit than me.

Still praying and still trying not to worry, the phone rang just after 3:00 p.m. I was shocked It was her. We talked for ninety minutes and she updated me, answered all my questions. The conversation left me stunned. Since then, I’ve felt odd, sort of like this:

And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking. They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” For he and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish that they had taken, (Luke 5:4–9)

Peter didn’t expect a catch of fish so when it came in such abundance, he felt the weight of his unbelief and even asked Jesus to leave him because of his sin. This morning, still astonished at God moving to answer my prayer that was so mixed with wanting to trust Him and wanting evidence that He was hearing me. The call reminded me that He is faithful and I can have confidence that He is at work in other prayer requests for other people — but in this case my confidence wavered. He whispered, “You know you can trust me.”

I’ve seen again that God hears and answers prayer whether I can see what He is doing or not. Trust is not about proof but about the character of the One I am trusting.

Trust is not about the extremity of the problem either. It is about the love and power of God. It is also not about how I feel. Facts pull the faith train, not feelings nor even what I can see. I let the lack of communication (not normal for this person) and my concerns for her govern to the point of being anxious instead of patient with God — who is totally worthy of my trust.

This all means that the phone call was wonderful to receive and the length of the conversation was reassuring, yet this call was also a rebuke.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible. (Hebrews 11:1–3)

Faith is like that. I have no trouble believing that God created all things by a word, no matter how much ‘evidence’ is presented to the contrary. Yet I let my ignorance of a medical procedure and the absence of communication override what faith was trying to assure me. God is more powerful than my doubts but I wanted to see something rather than simply trust Him. He assured me with that phone call, but it didn’t build my faith. Instead, I feel as Peter did when he saw the catch of fish — guilty of unbelief. I do not deserve the goodness of God.

PRAY: Jesus, what can I say? Not ‘depart from me’ but stay close. I need you. So also does this one I prayed for and who called me. Grow in both of us a greater trust in You, one that refuses to let doubt or feelings or fears pull us into depression or the despair of not trusting You.