His ways are not our ways…

Emotional shock seldom happens to me but this state of mind is present today to the point that I’m having trouble concentrating or responding to anything. Yesterday we were informed by the husband of a friend we have known and prayed with often had a mild heart attack. Her blood pressure was over 250. She is a dozen years younger than I am and very health conscious. I am stunned.

Prayer for her is difficult, likely because I prayed earlier this week that God would work in her life. Something is needed, do not know what, but asked God in one of those ‘whatever it takes’ prayers to expose and deal with it. I asked that His perfect will be done in her life. Within hours of that request, she was admitted to hospital.

I don’t believe in coincidences, only in the power and wisdom of God, yet this was another surprise that came unexpected and makes me feel extreme angst for her and somewhat distressed about how I prayed.

After looking at several thoughts from varying devotionals, I found this one that reminded me whenever God revealed Himself in some way to humankind in the Old Testament, terror and amazement were the reactions. People saw themselves as guilty and unclean by comparison! This is making me feel some of that. While deeply concerned for my friend’s health and survival, praying like I did and having this happen as soon as… it is seeing God in an unexpected way.

The reading also reminded me of the Book of Revelation, and how the apostle John describes the overwhelming nature of his encounter with the Lord of glory. Although a believer and an apostle, John sank down in humility and fear when the risen, glorified Lord Jesus appeared before him on Patmos. I also relate to this and feel numb and on my face.

This reading reminds me that Jesus seen in His glory did not condemn John in his weakness because it was his reaction to revealed divine strength. This man’s sense of unworthiness was the instant reaction to absolute holiness. I also related to this because when I prayed as I did and this happened so quickly after, my understanding of God’s will did not call this a satanic attack but something the Lord was allowing for His purposes. I don’t know what He is doing yet could not dismiss His will being involved. I’ve been tested too often by sudden and difficult ‘surprises’ to think otherwise.

Again, God is reminding me that every redeemed human being needs the humility of spirit that can only be brought about by the manifest presence of God. Jesus at once reassured John, stooping to place a nail-pierced hand on the prostrate apostle:

When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.” (Revelation 1:17–18)

God is in charge of life and death, of all that happens to His people. This is obvious for my friend and me also. I don’t know what she is thinking, but I am thinking of the power of Jesus and of His wisdom, even His timing. It may not be her that is in the classroom of Jesus; it might be only me.

PRAY: Right now Jesus, I don’t know how to pray. But I will go to prayer and release my will to say that Your will be done, and that no matter how this turns out, I can glorify You and praise Your name. Amen.