That her death would bring life . . .

Genesis 27; Esther 3; Matthew 26; Acts 26

Last night I took the link to my sister’s obituary page. Painful. This is happening. Made today not a great day to read about plots and betrayals, about one brother swindling another, about a man who didn’t get the homage he wanted from one Jew so he hatched a plot to destroy all the Jews, about the Jews in the New Testament plotting to kill Jesus and about them doing the same with the Apostle Paul. I’ve had enough bad news and hoped for something encouraging.

God does not let me down. He is amazing. In each story, the Bible shows His power in using these plots and devious schemes for His purposes.

In the case of Jacob and Esau, God could have arranged to have Jacob born first, Instead, Esau is born first, but Jacob is chosen. His lineage was important, but God’s sovereign, intervening choosing is more important than mere human seniority. God had a plan even as these two wrestled in the womb then later fought over birthrights and blessings.

As for the story in Esther, the evil Haman hatched a plot too, but God (whose name is not mentioned in this book) had a plan too. He showed His sovereign power as the story unfolds. Instead of putting Mordecai on the gallows he built for him, Haman was executed on those same gallows. God’s grace toward His people is more powerful than any human plan.

In Matthew 26, Judas sells his master. Jesus prays in agony in Gethsemane, then is arrested and betrayed by a kiss. He is condemned and brutalized. To make this even worse, Peter disowns Jesus just as Jesus said he would. Yet God remains in sovereign control. All of this is leading to Jesus giving His life for all the failures, pain and sin of the world:

The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28)

As for Paul, he could have been set free . . .

And when they had withdrawn, they said to one another, “This man is doing nothing to deserve death or imprisonment.” And Agrippa said to Festus, “This man could have been set free if he had not appealed to Caesar.” (Acts 26:31–32)

But being free was not in God’s plan for Paul. His appeal brings him to declare the Gospel at the heart of the Empire and from there to the ends of the earth.

Now for me and my numbness over this death. It seems unreal, but real, final, yet I know my sister is alive with Jesus.

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:6–8)

God’s plan is that all His people be united with Him in glory. As for the ‘why her?’ and ‘why now?’ questions, is He going to do something to show His great love and power on this earth through the seemingly untimeliness of her passing? That was her hope and it is mine also. My prayer is that because of her life and because of the service on which she wanted Christ to be honored, that lives would be changed. I think of family and friends who do not know God or whose hearts have strayed away and I pray . . .

“Answer me, O LORD, answer me, that this people may know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you have turned their hearts back.” (1 Kings 18:37)

That longing to go home

The devotional writer says, “God has put in the heart… a longing for himself. The mass of humanity does not understand it. People just know that there are times when they want to be quiet, times when they want to be alone, times when the calendar or the stars or death speaks to them. They hunger and they thirst—but for what?”

Being alone for several days brings out this longing. So do horrible stories in the news, funerals, and sometimes fatigue. It is what some call a homing instinct, a deep and profound sense of wanting to “go home.”

I notice it when life is not satisfying, or when I’m sad for no reason, or even happy for no reason, but sometimes this longing for home hits me at odd moments. I might be driving, or pushing a grocery cart when it sweeps over me and automatically I say, sometimes aloud, that I want to go home.

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:6–8)

While God blesses my life, I know that this world will never satisfy me completely. No matter what I have or gain, God “put eternity in my heart” (Ecclesiastes 3:11) and it is eternity that I long for, not more stuff or more of anything else, or even to have life totally the way that I want it to be. The ache for eternity, that homesickness for heaven cannot be satisfied by anything less than being with Jesus.

Yet I am here. God wants me to make the best of where I am and do whatever He gives me to do. Paul had that same longing for home, yet knew that God had reasons for him to stay, at least for a few more years…

I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. (Philippians 1:23–24)

Paul’s reason for staying was the reason God gives every Christian. We are not in heaven yet because He has a task for us here. Part of that task is making clear to ourselves and to others the meaning of this hunger in our hearts, this longing that is sometime vague, illusive, and even an unwanted intrusion.

The devotional writer says that Christians know this hunger yet at times may lose our way. He says we must never lose our address. That is, don’t deny the hunger or even offer a nod to satisfaction with this life. This homesickness for God is a divine gift and precious, a continual reminder that my dwelling here is a mere tent and at any time the Lord “may come to draw the pegs.”

If I feel like that, how about those who have not yet identified this deep desire and do not know what is pulling on their hearts? This is God’s reason for His “not yet” to me. I have an obligation to expose the mystery of this longing.

For now, I am a stranger and a pilgrim here, filled with a sense of not belonging yet knowing this is where God wants me to be. He gives me zeal to do His will, yet because of that deep longing to go home, part of that zeal is being able to see by faith that being here is temporary. No matter how much He blesses this life, this life is not all there is.