That longing to go home

The devotional writer says, “God has put in the heart… a longing for himself. The mass of humanity does not understand it. People just know that there are times when they want to be quiet, times when they want to be alone, times when the calendar or the stars or death speaks to them. They hunger and they thirst—but for what?”

Being alone for several days brings out this longing. So do horrible stories in the news, funerals, and sometimes fatigue. It is what some call a homing instinct, a deep and profound sense of wanting to “go home.”

I notice it when life is not satisfying, or when I’m sad for no reason, or even happy for no reason, but sometimes this longing for home hits me at odd moments. I might be driving, or pushing a grocery cart when it sweeps over me and automatically I say, sometimes aloud, that I want to go home.

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:6–8)

While God blesses my life, I know that this world will never satisfy me completely. No matter what I have or gain, God “put eternity in my heart” (Ecclesiastes 3:11) and it is eternity that I long for, not more stuff or more of anything else, or even to have life totally the way that I want it to be. The ache for eternity, that homesickness for heaven cannot be satisfied by anything less than being with Jesus.

Yet I am here. God wants me to make the best of where I am and do whatever He gives me to do. Paul had that same longing for home, yet knew that God had reasons for him to stay, at least for a few more years…

I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. (Philippians 1:23–24)

Paul’s reason for staying was the reason God gives every Christian. We are not in heaven yet because He has a task for us here. Part of that task is making clear to ourselves and to others the meaning of this hunger in our hearts, this longing that is sometime vague, illusive, and even an unwanted intrusion.

The devotional writer says that Christians know this hunger yet at times may lose our way. He says we must never lose our address. That is, don’t deny the hunger or even offer a nod to satisfaction with this life. This homesickness for God is a divine gift and precious, a continual reminder that my dwelling here is a mere tent and at any time the Lord “may come to draw the pegs.”

If I feel like that, how about those who have not yet identified this deep desire and do not know what is pulling on their hearts? This is God’s reason for His “not yet” to me. I have an obligation to expose the mystery of this longing.

For now, I am a stranger and a pilgrim here, filled with a sense of not belonging yet knowing this is where God wants me to be. He gives me zeal to do His will, yet because of that deep longing to go home, part of that zeal is being able to see by faith that being here is temporary. No matter how much He blesses this life, this life is not all there is.

To Live is Christ — Enjoying the journey — with our eyes on home

Yesterday after my hubby golfed eighteen holes and I had a good workout, we decided to take a little drive. It started innocently enough. We took a road north to a community we hadn’t yet seen. That wasn’t very impressive so we decided to go east to a small city we’d driven through on our way to this vacation place. We did some shopping there, then decided it was too early to go home, so we drove to another city farther south.

This next city is on a large lake and we checked the map. There was a road that went around the other side of the lake so we decided to take it. We didn’t bother packing a snack. It was early and the road didn’t look too long.

However, we wound back and forth, up and down, for miles — with a cliff up on one side and almost straight down on the other. As my hubby said, if anyone drove off the road, they would plunge through the roof of a house below. People actually lived just under the shoulder of the road and as close to the water as they could get, their houses perched like stone outcrops on the sides of the cliffs.

We got hungry on this day trip, but drove most of it without seeing any place to grab some food. At one point, DH joked that the tree bark might be our only hope.

Finally we rediscovered civilization, found a restaurant and had a good meal. It was another hour to our resort where we turned in for the night. What started out as a casual drive turned out to be an eight-hour journey with more twists and turns than we anticipated. As we drove, I thought of some ways our journey resembled the Christian life.

When I became a Christian, I thought it would be a “walk in the park” but soon the unanticipated began. Part of my journey has been astoundingly beautiful and filled with pleasant surprises (like a deer, and some wild turkeys on the roadside). However, other stretches along the way have turned my knuckles white as I hung on for dear life, afraid to look down and afraid not to.

Sometime I’ve been up high and the world seemed small and unthreatening. Other times my view has been murky and the journey marked with hairpin curves and narrow passageways. At times, it seemed I had it all, but there have been those stretches where life was so lean that my head ached.

I read my Bible verses for today using a modern version that says pretty much the same thing as the older Bibles. This passage tells me what awaits me when this journey is over. 

But here on this mountain, God-of-the-Angel-Armies will throw a feast for all the people of the world, a feast of the finest foods, a feast with vintage wines, a feast of seven courses, a feast lavish with gourmet desserts. And here on this mountain, God will banish the pall of doom hanging over all peoples, the shadow of doom darkening all nations. Yes, he’ll banish death forever. And God will wipe the tears from every face. He’ll remove every sign of disgrace from his people, wherever they are. Yes! God says so! (Isaiah 25:6–8, The Message)

I like that God says His feast will be on a mountain. There is no place on earth that sings to my heart more than the mountains. I also like the idea of feasting with all the people of the world. We ate Mexican last night, but Italian, French, Asian, Moroccan, it is all good. The gourmet desserts couldn’t be a better finish. But there is more.

Aside from the feast, when I get to my final destination, God will banish death and the doom that threatens everyone. I will never have white knuckles again. Nor will I ever cry (I didn’t yesterday, unless a yelp or two counts). I will not be sad. Nothing can make me feel shame or disgraced.

We haven’t been away long, but are already homesick. Being here is nice, but home has a great appeal. We can choose to leave this place early if we wish. However, the decision to leave this earth and go to our heavenly home is not in our hands. Instead, our Father, the one this Bible calls the God of angel armies, will make that call. When He does, we will not need to pack a thing, nor need to remember a snack for the road. Instead, we will gladly meet Him there, where a feast and much more is waiting for us.

To Live is Christ — longing for home

Vacations remind me that I don’t slow down very much. When I am at home, I get too busy to reflect, too busy to get out into the beauty of God’s creation. I seldom stop and just enjoy the variety of people, places, and things in the world. My sometimes hectic routine blurs how many other things there are to do and see, and how much happens outside my doors, both good and bad. It is good to ‘get away from it all’ and experience other things.

We are vacationing in a scenic part of the world with tall trees, mountains, rivers and lakes. The people around us are friendly. There is time to rest and daydream. We are not watching television or reading newspapers, so our awareness of world events is minimal. This is refreshing as well.

However, my husband and I talked about boredom this evening over supper. This is Day Three of ten days away and we have already done what we wanted to do. We both laughed that we feel a little bit like going home. Perhaps this relates to being so non-involved in life while on vacation, feeling useless because we’re not doing anything useful. Loafing has value, but self-indulgence gets boring — quickly.

Besides that, we wondered if we are bored. Boredom happens when people do not live up to their full potential, but who wants to be bored on a vacation?

We also wondered if this sense of wanting to “go home” really isn’t about home, at least the place where we normally live? When I read the verses for today in my devotional guide, I can see that our longing could be confused with a different kind of homesickness. 

On this mountain the Lord Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine— the best of meats and the finest of wines. On this mountain he will destroy the shroud that enfolds all peoples, the sheet that covers all nations; he will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The Lord has spoken. (Isaiah 25:6–8)

This has great appeal. Imagine, eating the richest of food in a place where none of it will go to waist? This means no more ordering appetizers for our meals, or asking for one item from the menu and two plates! We can eat as much dessert as we want — chocolate cake to the max!

Imagine having the shroud of death, and the fear of death removed forever? Since our bodies will not be aging, we will not get tired. Heaven is our eternal rest, so no more work and my to-do list will fade from memory. Yet still I have a feeling that I will not be sitting with my feet up, because I’ll finally be able to live to my full potential. Heaven means no aging, no boredom, no death, but richness of life.

There is more. The Lord says that all tears will be wiped from all faces. What makes me cry? Sorrow, grief, shame, yearning, being distressed or embarrassed? He says that He will remove the disgrace of His people from all the earth. Not only that, all self-indulgence (which causes some of those things) will be gone too. No more tears.

I cannot fully imagine heaven. It could be similar to a vacation, but far better. No wonder the people of God have a longing in our hearts for this place described as being on a mountain with God.

For now, we have to settle for vacations. I’ll likely feel more interesting in sightseeing and doing holiday things tomorrow. We can look at the mountains, and enjoy good food here. In a few days we will head home and go back to the routine of normal life. After a few weeks or months of that, I’ll again look forward to a vacation.

Yet I know that no matter how good it gets here, and no matter how wonderful the vacation, that yearning for heaven will remain. Someday, we will feast on that mountain with God. He will give me the best of everything, yet it will be to His glory, without self-indulgence. He will take away the sorrows of life and wipe away all my tears, removing all disgrace and perplexities of this life. Then I will be truly and finally — home.

Home sweet home

Every now and then I will be alone and say aloud, “I want to go home.” Every time I say it I think first of my childhood home, because that is the human side of those words, but I know that I am not longing for that place.

This morning I read Hebrews 11:16. It describes my almost impossible to describe longing. “But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.”

When I say these words, sometimes the stress of life is getting me down. Or I might be lonely. Or I might be fine, just longing to see Jesus. My devotional reading describes me even as the author describes the people of God that this verse is about, the Old Testament saints who loved the Lord and looked to Him for something more. (I’ve edited this a bit.)

In desiring a better country these ancient pilgrims wanted something heavenly, something that tasted of God . . . something which came from heaven and led to heaven, which gave (them) heavenly feelings, heavenly sensations, heavenly delights, and heavenly joy. (They wanted their hearts) purified from the love of sin, carnality, and worldliness by having something sweeter to taste, better to love, and more holy to enjoy.

Yes, sometimes I am just tired of being here, tired of the bad news in the headlines, tired of praying for people who couldn’t care less if anyone did, and tired of the continual battles in my own heart against selfishness and the lies of Satan.

God knows all these things. Sometimes He simply drops by in some special way to assure my heart that He knows and He cares. I presented a workshop at a writer’s conference yesterday and felt that I could have done much better. God sent one of the people who attended to tell me she is not a writer and wondered why she was there, but my workshop was the answer, the reason God had her at the conference. My devotional today goes on to say . . .

It is these heavenly visitations, droppings in the favor, goodness and mercy of God, which keep the soul alive in its many deaths, sweeten it amidst its many bitters, hold it up amidst its many sinkings, and keep it from being drowned while conflicting with many waters.

How I agree. God understands that even little things can feel like a sinking ship because none of us are very good at evaluating our own performance. He knows when we need a little of His applause to get us back on track. Yet when He makes living here a bit sweeter, that longing for a heavenly country remains. I still desire home, to be with Him all the time. Why is that?

A carnal mind has no taste for heavenly things, no sweet delight in the word of God; no delight in the Lord Jesus revealing Himself in the word; no delight in closet duties, secret meditation, searching the Scriptures, communion with God, or even in the company of God’s dear family. There must be a heavenly element in the soul to understand, realize, enjoy and delight in heavenly things. The Holy Ghost must work in us a new heart, a new nature, capable of understanding, enjoying, and delighting in heavenly realities . . . they desired, therefore, a better country, that is a heavenly, a city which hath foundations, whose Builder and Maker is God.

I long for home because He lives in my heart and somehow imparts in me a taste, a hunger, a longing for more. He fully knows what that heavenly home is like and deeply desires that I know it also. He longs for me to be with Him in that perfect place, so I’m certain that this desire I feel to go home is actually some of His desire rubbing off.

Home is where my heart is

Over the past forty-five plus years, I’ve moved twenty-eight times. They say it takes two years to adjust to a new residence. If that is true, I’m terribly maladjusted!

Some of those moves were short. The worst was our brief stay in a northern city in Alberta. My husband was on a contract job. The movers unloaded, and in less than a week, we were unpacked and even had the pictures hung. Then his new boss asked him to do something unethical in regard to their client. Although he was not a Christian at that point, my husband refused, resigned, and since we were living in a house supplied by the client, we had to move immediately.

In our many relocations, we moved to one city five times, sometimes back into the same house (which we had rented out). Right now, we have been in this house for nine years. That is the longest in one place.

Moving that often has advantages and disadvantages. The worst is that relationships suffer. We had one lady introduce us to someone with, “Don’t get to know them too well. They will be moving soon.”

Every now and then I used to get homesick. For a long time I wondered what home was I missing. I thought that longing might be just the itch to move again, to resolve the difficulties of the current place by pulling out and leaving them behind. Now I know better. I get homesick because this place and none of the other places are my real home.

Philippians 3:20-21 spell it out: “For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.”

When Christ drew me into His family and His kingdom, He changed my citizenship. I live here on earth, but am a citizen of an eternal and permanent home, a perfect place. Once I am there, I will never move again. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says God has put eternity in my heart, and when I long for home, I am longing for that place I’ve not seen with my eyes, but my heart knows of it.

From there, Jesus will come here some day to take me home. He will also “transform” me. The Greek word is schematic and suggests that He will change my internal design. That change is needed because the body I have now is not able to live eternally, nor would I want it to. Heaven doesn’t seem the place for sore toes, somewhat less than 20-20 vision, and hair that will never do what I want it to do!

The Bible says that in eternity there will be no more death, sorrow, crying or pain. I’m sure that includes arthritis and homesickness. These verses in Philippians say my body will be like Jesus’ body. I’m not sure of everything that means except that after His resurrection Jesus could be wherever He wanted in an instant, even go through locked doors, yet was still physical, a real body and not a spirit-like being. He was recognizable but also different. He ate and drank but I’m not sure He needed to do either one.

No matter what my body is like, I know that being at that 'home' will satisfy me and being with Jesus will bring perfect contentment. This hope should also be good reason to stop belly-aching about the imperfections of living in this place!

UPDATE: My husband's heart specialist has told him that his recovery is complete. He needs to continue eating right and exercising, but he can "return to normal life," including shoveling snow (which we thought would be a no-no). Besides feeling really well, he does have some memory problems since his heart attack, more annoying than severe. Other than that, he is in better shape now than he was before this happened!

As for our granddaughter, she is back in university to get her teacher's certificate. She is talkative, happy and full of energy. The difference in her between now and last year at this time is absolutely astounding. She still needs Jesus, but He has answered prayer for her in amazing ways. We continue to pray that she finds true and lasting joy in knowing Him.