That her death would bring life . . .

Genesis 27; Esther 3; Matthew 26; Acts 26

Last night I took the link to my sister’s obituary page. Painful. This is happening. Made today not a great day to read about plots and betrayals, about one brother swindling another, about a man who didn’t get the homage he wanted from one Jew so he hatched a plot to destroy all the Jews, about the Jews in the New Testament plotting to kill Jesus and about them doing the same with the Apostle Paul. I’ve had enough bad news and hoped for something encouraging.

God does not let me down. He is amazing. In each story, the Bible shows His power in using these plots and devious schemes for His purposes.

In the case of Jacob and Esau, God could have arranged to have Jacob born first, Instead, Esau is born first, but Jacob is chosen. His lineage was important, but God’s sovereign, intervening choosing is more important than mere human seniority. God had a plan even as these two wrestled in the womb then later fought over birthrights and blessings.

As for the story in Esther, the evil Haman hatched a plot too, but God (whose name is not mentioned in this book) had a plan too. He showed His sovereign power as the story unfolds. Instead of putting Mordecai on the gallows he built for him, Haman was executed on those same gallows. God’s grace toward His people is more powerful than any human plan.

In Matthew 26, Judas sells his master. Jesus prays in agony in Gethsemane, then is arrested and betrayed by a kiss. He is condemned and brutalized. To make this even worse, Peter disowns Jesus just as Jesus said he would. Yet God remains in sovereign control. All of this is leading to Jesus giving His life for all the failures, pain and sin of the world:

The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28)

As for Paul, he could have been set free . . .

And when they had withdrawn, they said to one another, “This man is doing nothing to deserve death or imprisonment.” And Agrippa said to Festus, “This man could have been set free if he had not appealed to Caesar.” (Acts 26:31–32)

But being free was not in God’s plan for Paul. His appeal brings him to declare the Gospel at the heart of the Empire and from there to the ends of the earth.

Now for me and my numbness over this death. It seems unreal, but real, final, yet I know my sister is alive with Jesus.

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:6–8)

God’s plan is that all His people be united with Him in glory. As for the ‘why her?’ and ‘why now?’ questions, is He going to do something to show His great love and power on this earth through the seemingly untimeliness of her passing? That was her hope and it is mine also. My prayer is that because of her life and because of the service on which she wanted Christ to be honored, that lives would be changed. I think of family and friends who do not know God or whose hearts have strayed away and I pray . . .

“Answer me, O LORD, answer me, that this people may know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you have turned their hearts back.” (1 Kings 18:37)

Arrogance, assumption, and faith

1 Samuel 1:1–2:21, James 1:1–8, Psalm 119:1–16

Today’s readings start two new books. The first part of the OT story of Hannah and Samuel often make me chuckle. Actually, I need to be careful what I laugh about, for these verse point to human arrogance and assumption, and I can be guilty of both . . .

On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” (1 Samuel 1:4–8)

First thought (very fleshy): Isn’t this just like a man to think he is sufficient when his wife desperately wants a child? A better thought is that he was trying to encourage her, to help her be thankful for what she did have. He wasn’t good at this, but he tried. Sadly, the problem was not resolved as seen in that little phrase, “it went on year by year.”

Hannah took the situation to God, and it sounds as if she did it year by year as well. “As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman.” (1 Samuel 1:12–13)

Eli made an assumption. Maybe the only people he ever saw moving their lips like Hannah were drunk. Maybe praying like this was not the habit of most of his congregation. I relate to Hannah in her method. I normally pray aloud in my home. When I go for a walk, praying aloud keeps me focused, but it any onlookers wonder if I am daft, so I usually move only my lips. If any passersby still stare and wonder if I am mentally deranged, that adds to my conviction that most people are prone to presumption.

Those familiar with Hannah’s story know that God answered her prayer and Samuel was born. When we pray to God, He shows up. When in dire circumstances, or deep need, He hears our call. What it means to know our Lord and Savior often is revealed when we are in pain. It is in our deepest trials that God promises answers . . .

“Count it all joy, my brothers (this word includes sisters), when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:2–8)

When I am in trouble, God promises to use it to build steadfast patience, a mark of maturity. He also says when I ask for wisdom, trusting Him, He will give it. That is amazing. Because He affirms this promise, I have stopped caring what people think when they see my lips moving!

Psalm 119 is a favorite psalm because it describes the blessings of those who know the Word of God and do what it says. Hannah is an example. While those two main men in her life seemed out of sync with reality, to their credit they also set their hearts to follow the Lord and of those who do this, God says, “Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways!” (Psalm 119:1–3)

As for me, I can be convicted by the goof-ups of Elkanah and Eli for I sin in the same way. I can also be encouraged by the patient persistence of Hannah. Most of all, their story points to God who cares about every situation in life, and who hears and answers prayer. For that reason, these verses are also my prayer and focus: “With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” (Psalm 119:10–11)

Our God is an Awesome God

When it comes to God, people ask big questions such as, “If God exists and is good, why does He allow suffering?” Most of those who ask this have specific suffering in mind, perhaps a world event or something closer to home. However, even Christians struggle with this question. We want our lives to be like heaven on earth and wonder why it is not.

Today, I read this verse and felt as if God was answering the question, at least for those who trust Him and who realize that His thoughts are above our thoughts . . .

But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and the more they spread abroad. And the Egyptians were in dread of the people of Israel. (Exodus 1:12)

In the economy of God, suffering is productive. His people are oppressed and multiply? That makes no sense. The blood of the martyrs is the seed of revival? That makes no sense. God’s strength is perfected in my weakness? That makes no sense either. Yet God does work in mysterious ways, and as for suffering, He understands what will bring good and how much is too much.

During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. (Exodus 2:23) God listened and sent Moses to deliver them, but first Moses had to experience God and be convinced of His plan.

And the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed . . . And he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God . . . God said to Moses, “I am who I am.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel, ‘I am has sent me to you.’” God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’ This is my name forever, and thus I am to be remembered throughout all generations. (Exodus 3:2, 6, 14-15)

As I string these verses together, I also remember that the God I call good and wise is also in charge of things. He uses oppression to build up His people. He uses a flaming bush to reveal Himself. He is the almighty, the everlasting one, the I AM.

But the next reading says something more about Him. It is a love story, but points to another reality about God; He is a lover in the most tender sense, One whose name is like the most perfect olive oil . . . Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine; your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out; therefore virgins love you. (Song of Solomon 1:2–3)

Immediately I go to the next reading that speaks of this amazing God, the One in the burning bush that Moses was afraid to look at, and the One who is eternal: And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth . . .  No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known. (John 1:14, 18)

This is the God who causes His suffering people to multiply, who rescues them when the suffering goes beyond His plan, who reveals Himself in unexpected ways, as burning but not consumed, as a lover most irresistible, as a man full of grace and truth. His final appearing was so unexpected that His own people did not recognize Him when He came as a mere man. Instead they crucified Him, not realizing that this action of theirs was also part of God’s plan, a terrible injustice that became His grounds for justifying sinners and giving us eternal life!  

Repeated sin > repeated confession > slowly transformed

The Bible makes a wonderful promise to Christians who sin. He says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9).

Sounds great, but what about the next time it happens? And the next? If I confess something, and God forgives and cleanses, then why do I keep doing the same foolish thing? Isn’t it supposed to be cleansed from my life?

While there could be other answers, it seems to me that when this happens, I’ve not got to the root of the matter. I’ve confessed symptoms rather than the disease, the actions rather than the deeper attitudes of my heart.

This is a spiritual danger. It happened to God’s people in the days of Jeremiah the prophet. He spoke to them about their unrighteous behavior, and it sounds as if they covered up their sinful wounds with a bandage, but the mess didn’t heal under that; it festered and erupted again and again.

“’For from the least to the greatest of them, everyone is greedy for unjust gain; and from prophet to priest, everyone deals falsely. They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace. Were they ashamed when they committed abomination? No, they were not at all ashamed; they did not know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall; at the time that I punish them, they shall be overthrown,’ says the Lord.” (Jeremiah 6:13–15)

The danger of this light confession of only actions is that after many repetitions of the same sin, I no longer take it seriously. I might think this is just who I am, or that I’m stuck with it, or ‘everyone has problems’ or ‘no one is perfect.’ Instead of going for the deeper causes, I just leave it alone.

The going deeper part is not easy. Just as cauterizing a wound or removing proud flesh produces agony, asking the Great Physician to clear a persistent sin will hurt. A Christian who dares to do that must realize that God will answer that prayer, and the Christian must be persistent and not give up during the cleansing and healing process.

Sometimes this feels like punishment not healing. Sometimes God reveals things that bring horror to the heart, horror that my sin is so awful and horror that I have had such resistance to His everlasting love and forgiving grace.

Another reason that change is so difficult is that God often uses trials and difficult challenges to bring it about. The suffering can be external circumstances. It can also be satanic attacks that turn my pride into weakness and a desperate need for renewed faith. It can also be the suffering that comes when I feel helpless against my own sinfulness. Yet under suffering and having my heart tested beyond measure, God does His transforming work.

Thankfully, He never abandons His wayward ones. I can be persistent in my disobedience, but He is more persistent to change my heart. I can suffer, but God can use suffering to profit me and produce the change I long for. This is why He says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 5:6–11)

At times I hear others say that people never change, but I do not agree. If that were true, then the promises of God mean nothing, promises like the one above and promise like, “ . . . For those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son . . . .” (Romans 8:28–29)

He is using everything, including pain and suffering, to transform me. Yet I fully understand why many people resist change. When God is doing it, it hurts like nothing else.