Two become one…

And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:2–9)

My first husband died several years ago. My current hubby and I have been married more than fifty years. We have been asked what is the secret for a long marriage. My hubby says “patience and forgiveness.” I say “Jesus” because without Him and the grace of the Holy Spirit, neither patience or forgiveness happen easily or last very long.

Sometimes we disagree and talk it out, but many times one of us says something like, “We should invite … for dinner” and the other one says, “I was just thinking the same thing.” 
Over the years, several thoughts help us build unity. For example, when both of us seek to better know the Lord, we become closer to each other. This week I heard another truth that hit home…

A man was asked how he could stay married to the same woman for 57 years. He said, “She wasn’t the same woman.” He went on to explain that from age 22 to age 79, she changed. It doesn’t take much imagination to think of how that happens. Being a wife changes a woman, as does being a career person, and/or a mother, and a grandmother. Life itself changes us.
He said he was not the same man either. He was following Jesus Christ and by doing that, God was changing him. This is the destiny of all who belong to Him:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. (Romans 8:28–30)

These are incredible words for a life, but also for a marriage. God uses all things to make a man and his wife more like Jesus. Cooperating with Him means loving like He loves — forgiving and patient, but also through thick and thin, better or worse. Just knowing the power of God to use one another’s quirks and foibles for good is like glue rather than like causes for wanting a divorce.

Lord God, how many times have we done things that would make most people walk away, yet You used them for good. You are our Savior and Lord, the One who not only overcomes our sinful selfishness, but takes the worst of it to draw us to You and to change our attitudes. Yes, the secret of a long and happy marriage involves cooperation with You, but those who are without You may be the reason for a climbing divorce rate.