Two become one…

And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:2–9)

My first husband died several years ago. My current hubby and I have been married more than fifty years. We have been asked what is the secret for a long marriage. My hubby says “patience and forgiveness.” I say “Jesus” because without Him and the grace of the Holy Spirit, neither patience or forgiveness happen easily or last very long.

Sometimes we disagree and talk it out, but many times one of us says something like, “We should invite … for dinner” and the other one says, “I was just thinking the same thing.” 
Over the years, several thoughts help us build unity. For example, when both of us seek to better know the Lord, we become closer to each other. This week I heard another truth that hit home…

A man was asked how he could stay married to the same woman for 57 years. He said, “She wasn’t the same woman.” He went on to explain that from age 22 to age 79, she changed. It doesn’t take much imagination to think of how that happens. Being a wife changes a woman, as does being a career person, and/or a mother, and a grandmother. Life itself changes us.
He said he was not the same man either. He was following Jesus Christ and by doing that, God was changing him. This is the destiny of all who belong to Him:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. (Romans 8:28–30)

These are incredible words for a life, but also for a marriage. God uses all things to make a man and his wife more like Jesus. Cooperating with Him means loving like He loves — forgiving and patient, but also through thick and thin, better or worse. Just knowing the power of God to use one another’s quirks and foibles for good is like glue rather than like causes for wanting a divorce.

Lord God, how many times have we done things that would make most people walk away, yet You used them for good. You are our Savior and Lord, the One who not only overcomes our sinful selfishness, but takes the worst of it to draw us to You and to change our attitudes. Yes, the secret of a long and happy marriage involves cooperation with You, but those who are without You may be the reason for a climbing divorce rate.

Stumbling along the way . . .

 

Biblical pastors know that “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16) and they also realize that people who aren’t interested in holy living will avoid being exposed to sound doctrine. This is why Paul wrote Timothy:

I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. (2 Timothy 4:1–4)

It was true then and it is true today. Even after being a Christian for fifty plus years, I know the pull of the world, the flesh, and the devil to pull me into spiritual complacency. I’m lazy at heart and am thankful that God keeps me wanting truth. Otherwise, I might listen to people who tell me whatever will make me comfortable and content to do whatever I want instead of listening to the Lord.

If I started to do such things, God would be quick to question me:

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! (2 Corinthians 13:5)

I realize that genuine believers can fall into negligence and compromise, avoiding the Bible, staying away from church or Bible study, even from other Christians who might question any lapses. I also realize that because I am His child, God will not allow this without holding me accountable. If I pull back, He disciplines and even nags at me to repent and be reconciled to Him.

And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:5–11)

One important thing that helps me stay on track is prayer — my own and the prayers of others. I’m aware of those prayers and even notice times when it seems that no one is praying. God does tell all of us:

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)

If I am praying, I cannot stay sliding down into a sinful state. Confession just pops up whenever I talk to God. It needs to be there for myself, but also for anyone who needs repentance. Sometimes I might need to talk to them about it, but with love and caution, particularly if their sin is against me:

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15–17)

The last thing I want to do is treat another Christian as if they are not a believer. However, the plus side of this would be an emphasis on the gospel and God’s forgiveness. I’m thinking again of the NA meeting we attended as guests (see yesterday’s post) and how the love and forgiveness in the group brought some strugglers to tears as they realized they were not being condemned — loving correction is not condemnation. It is restoration and at times, everyone needs a good dose of that.

PRAY: Lord, continue to work in my life and in the lives of those at that meeting who are on the verge of saying yes to You as Lord. Help them to repent and truly trust You with all their hearts.

PONDER: How important it is to keep praying for those whose journey is still not quite to the Cross, that You will take them there and grant them life everlasting.