Two become one…

And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:2–9)

My first husband died several years ago. My current hubby and I have been married more than fifty years. We have been asked what is the secret for a long marriage. My hubby says “patience and forgiveness.” I say “Jesus” because without Him and the grace of the Holy Spirit, neither patience or forgiveness happen easily or last very long.

Sometimes we disagree and talk it out, but many times one of us says something like, “We should invite … for dinner” and the other one says, “I was just thinking the same thing.” 
Over the years, several thoughts help us build unity. For example, when both of us seek to better know the Lord, we become closer to each other. This week I heard another truth that hit home…

A man was asked how he could stay married to the same woman for 57 years. He said, “She wasn’t the same woman.” He went on to explain that from age 22 to age 79, she changed. It doesn’t take much imagination to think of how that happens. Being a wife changes a woman, as does being a career person, and/or a mother, and a grandmother. Life itself changes us.
He said he was not the same man either. He was following Jesus Christ and by doing that, God was changing him. This is the destiny of all who belong to Him:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. (Romans 8:28–30)

These are incredible words for a life, but also for a marriage. God uses all things to make a man and his wife more like Jesus. Cooperating with Him means loving like He loves — forgiving and patient, but also through thick and thin, better or worse. Just knowing the power of God to use one another’s quirks and foibles for good is like glue rather than like causes for wanting a divorce.

Lord God, how many times have we done things that would make most people walk away, yet You used them for good. You are our Savior and Lord, the One who not only overcomes our sinful selfishness, but takes the worst of it to draw us to You and to change our attitudes. Yes, the secret of a long and happy marriage involves cooperation with You, but those who are without You may be the reason for a climbing divorce rate.

Joy in trials...

 

One of my dear friends is care-giver for her hubby who has dementia. At times, he seems ‘normal’ but he can be a handful. She says this is to develop patience in her life. Another friend said the same thing last week, that she married her hubby so God could develop her patience. A few months ago we cerebrated our 53rd anniversary. When asked what the secret is for a long marriage, my hubby said “Forgiveness and patience.”

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2–4)

Some translations say that trials develop patience, another term for being steadfast. And not all trials involve marriage! Just watching the news shows many far worse, like the wars in Ukraine and the Middle East, the devastation in the southern USA, random murders of children, and many other horrific events.

Another verse says: “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance.” (Romans 5:3) This is another word that means patience. And for many situations, this seems totally impossible.

Our biggest problem? Most people would rather have the problem fixed or gone. A professor who taught biblical counseling revealed that when people come for counseling, as soon as they find out that they must deal with their past or their own heart, they quit coming because all they want is a solution to their current problem.

Today’s devotional again reminds me to take each thing that is wrong in my life as an opportunity to rise closer to God. It says that no matter who the originator of the wrong may be, whether people, or events, or even devils, by the time a trial reaches me it is meant to carry me to heavenly places of triumph in the Lord.

I agree. Even though God’s will may be hidden in the trial, I can shut out all second causes and find the Lord in whatever is happening. It is suggested to repeat “Thy will be done! Thy will be done!” Yet however I respond, I can submit to Him and trust Him. He will carry me through the trial and lift me above any normal human (and fleshy) responses to it. His power is amazing.

PRAY: Jesus, today brings more bad and good news. Two family members have been hit with Covid. We had a complex problem with transferring money. Our day was long and tiring. But answers for that problem and other issues regarding our relocation are being resolved. We are aware and thankful for Your care (often in surprising ways) and Your wisdom, freely offered as we ask for it…

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. (James 1:5)

For this and for all You give us, we are thankful. You do fill us with joy in trials, and in return, we give You glory!

What happens when I abandon doing it my way

 

Today’s devotional offers more on the difference between law and grace. Most of them contrast what law asks for and what God gives. For example, the law demands holiness while the gospel gives holiness. The law says do; the gospel says done. The law places the day of rest at the end of the week’s work; the gospel places it at the beginning. Under the law, salvation has wages; under the gospel, salvation is a gift.

Our big problem is waiting. Some of what we hope for is not instant. I pray, sometimes for years, yet see no answer. Will I take matters into my own hands? Not a good idea. Abraham and Sarah did that, producing a son from her handmaid whose descendants are still trying to destroy the descendants of the son that God gave later.

Waiting on God is difficult. Not only that, He produces patience by trials.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2–4)

And those trials are a huge temptation to take matters into our own hands, even asking God to remove them rather than yielding to their purpose. Yet in yielding, we have power with God because our prayers eventually bear fruit, and almost always in surprising ways. If the flesh insists on personal comfort and God relents, I will miss the surprise and the joy of experiencing God’s sufficiency.

So what else is in it for me if I yield to God? Faith is about knowing what cannot be seen. In yielding, I will not have a clue — but I will have the promises of God. Is that not a great something? This verse seems to refer to physical battles, it also points to the abundant life that Jesus gives:

And do you seek great things for yourself? Seek them not, for behold, I am bringing disaster upon all flesh, declares the Lord. But I will give you your life as a prize of war in all places to which you may go. (Jeremiah 45:5)

Oswald Chambers says, “This is the unshakable secret of the Lord to those who trust Him” for what more does anyone want than their life? He adds, “’Thy life for a prey’ means that wherever you may go, even if it is into hell, you will come out with your life, nothing can harm it. So many of us are caught up in the show of things, not in the way of property and possessions, but of blessings. All these have to go; but there is something grander that never can go—the life that is ‘hid with Christ in God.’ ”

Chambers says the test is in how we question God with suppositions, asking ‘what about this’ which reveals that I’m not trusting Him with all things. The opposite is thinking no more about what God is going to do after I ask Him to do something.
This week, two large issues involving people with mental health issues had me praying until I reached a place of trusting the Lord to take care of them. When that happened, I was surprised to be no longer thinking about them and their problems. Not that I ceased to care, but that I ceased to worry. I can hear Him saying, “I got this” and am now waiting to see what happens.

So abandoning anything to God means no more questions or ‘what if’ thoughts. Chambers says that people get tired because their life is not seen as given to them by Jesus. He adds, “When you do get through to abandonment to God, you will be the most surprised and delighted creature on earth; God has got you absolutely and has given you your life. If you are not there, it is either because of disobedience or a refusal to be simple enough.”

PRAY: Jesus, forgive me for actually being worried that I have no concerns and thinking that means I don’t care — instead of recognizing the peace that comes with giving all my worries to You. Certainly Your yoke is easy and Your burdens are light. You are taking care of the things that I abandon to You so I don’t need to be anxious. The gospel says Your peace will guard my heart and mind, and this peace is greater than my understanding! How incredibly easy to worship You!

Jesus patiently keeps His Promises

 

Every morning I turn on the kettle to make myself a cup of tea. A few times I can’t recall doing it so touch the kettle to see if it is hot. My memory failure never affects the kettle. I flipped the switch and it does what I asked of it, whether I remember or not.

Faith in Christ is always about Him, not my failures and inabilities. I’ve trusted Jesus to save me and keep me in His care. If I fail to follow perfectly or have doubts or worries, He remains faithful. My doubts are merely evidence that I might be trusting my performance instead of His promises.

Sadly, if many Christians are tested by the presence of doubt in their lives, this gives evidence that their faith is not as strong as the trustworthiness of Jesus Christ. He said “Believe in me” to be saved, not “Believe in your performance” or “Believe because you are getting everything you want” or “Believe only when you never fail.”

James says that trials are able to produce patience in me. That is a reason to rejoice (James 1:2-4) for God is at work so I can be mature in my faith. Maturity shows up in many ways, but an important one is patience. When a person is patient, it even affects the way we pray:

And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’ ” And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?” (Luke 18:1–8)

In this parable, the woman persisted in her request to a judge who was not anything like God, but that judge eventually gave in to her request because she persisted. She did not become impatient and take matters into her own hands.

When I pray to God, this is often my test too. I ask, sometimes for years, and sometimes try to make the answer happen only to realize that my efforts only interrupt the process. God is using the trial of waiting to build patience in me. My interruptions and self-effort only serve to put me back in the classroom taking ‘Godly Patience 101’. Once that is in place, God turns to my request.

Jesus’ question is pathetic: “Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?” Too many only trust God when their lives are comfortable, health is present, children are walking with Jesus, food is on the table, blessings abound. But when anything is missing, or when we slip up in obedience, guilt and the sense of our failure changes contentment to anxiety and worries that God has turned His back, forgotten His promises. Who are we trusting? And what are we trusting Him for? A more revealing question might be: What do I trust myself for?

PRAY: Jesus, when I rely on myself, I am always disappointed. I should never blame You for my sense of failure nor think that You have let me down when the opposite is true. If I am trusting me and feel let down, it is never Your fault. Help me to confess my sin and lack of faith in You and be forgiven and cleansed. You promised to keep me and are true to keep Your promises, even when I fail to remember that I asked You to do just that.

More patience builders…

 
Yesterday was amazing, like one of those vacation days when the weather is perfect and the scenery and activities match it. After some treatment, we experienced a day with all aches and pains gone and God gave us a hint to how they are part of His plan. Our trials by pain became a reason to change some travel plans — and by doing that, we can be helpful to someone later, at least it seemed that way yesterday, but today is a different story.

The pain and trial returned. My husband’s day of relief is over and both of us are suffering as before. I feel heavy and look to Jesus to help me function as daily responsibilities cannot always be ignored. At the same time, I cannot ignore God’s Word nor the significance of today’s devotional reading. To put it into my words, it reminds me that being transformed into the image of Christ is about both faith and obedience. It is surrender and trust on my part, putting myself (and my family) into His hands. He is the potter and we are the clay. My part includes dealing with sinful, selfishness:

Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth… (2 Timothy 2:21–25)

God does the shaping like a potter shapes clay. A lump of clay could never grow into a beautiful vessel if it stayed in the clay pit, but when it is put in the hands of a skillful potter it grows rapidly under his fashioning into the vessel he intends it to be. And in the same way the soul, abandoned to the working of the heavenly Potter, is made into a vessel of honor, sanctified and fit for the Master’s use. I need to cooperate with my Master — first by trusting Him and second by expecting Him to do His work.

The obedience is made easier when I can see some progress, yet discouragement and impatience are not the progress He is looking for. As today’s devotional says, if I have taken the step of faith by which I have put myself absolutely into His hands, I must now expect Him to begin to work. And here is the rub: His way of accomplishing that which I have entrusted to Him may be different from my way. In particular, I may not see what He is doing, but He knows best and I must be satisfied.

Last night I went to sleep expecting the trial of pain to be over now that we could see a (possible) purpose for it. I was happy about that, but the pain returned this morning. Why? I’ve no idea. Is this a test of my trust — that it is truly trust in Him that His will is best? Or was I just glad that it made sense, at least for a day?

PRAY: Lord, I feel a bit like Jacob when he wrestled with You. I want to know the what, why, when of things and You want me to simply trust You, no matter what, why, and when, meaning all the time, no matter what, and believing that the why is because You want the best — that I be like You — even when in the trials. You are waiting for a genuine “Not my will but thine be done.”  And I am so slow to learn.

Wait — there is more to the story

Being unwell gives me time to think. These devotions also prod thoughts. Yesterday I wondered about the promises of God’s goodness and blessing in contrast to this instruction from the NT:

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2–4)

In most minds, trials and joy do not mix. Theologically they do. It makes sense that we learn most when most pressed to trust God, most pushed by difficulties that we no longer have any answers or ways to bring life back to normal or forward to better than it is with the trial. In other words, it is preferable to be comfortable rather than stressed, and when stressed it seems that our loving Father should remove the problem.

But what if He does not? Think of believers in places of persecution. Think of those whose children have incurable disease. Think of those who have lost everything. Even the Bible stories speak of unrelenting trials, like Joseph sold into slavery by his brothers and Job who lost his children and possessions as well as his health. In reading the total story, the good will of God shows up. Joseph seemed to wait for it. Job complained and questioned. Others suffered in silence.

Yesterday I thought about my lack of knowing what my suffering means, but one thing came out of the pondering; I may not know what God is doing with me or with my friends who are suffering, but I do know that He wants all of His children to be filled with His Spirit. This is where our joy comes from, not from the comforts of life. Today’s devotional says this:

The religion of the Lord Jesus Christ was meant to be full of comfort. Every newly converted soul, in the first joy of conversion, fully expects it. And yet it seems as if for a great number of Christians, their religious lives are the most uncomfortable part of their existence. Does the fault of this state of things lie with the Lord? Has He promised more than He is able to supply?

It goes on to say that we suffer from a great deal of over-advertisement and this tends to give many of God’s people the sense that Christ offered more in His gospel than He has to give. Why this? Has the kingdom of God been over-advertised, or is it only that it has been under-believed? Is part of our problem the fact that we have not arrived at the last chapter of our story and we are simply impatient? The Bible does say:

But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”— (1 Corinthians 2:9)

God took Joseph into slavery and eventually into leadership in Egypt where he was able to save his people during a famine. As he told his brothers, they meant it for evil but God used it for good.

God never did tell Job about the challenge of Satan and the proof that the faith He gave Job would hold firm, yet at the end of his story, Job humbly admitted his failures, prayed for his accusing friends, and was given back more than had been taken away.

God keeps His promises. My problem is impatience and often the failure to remember that joy is not about circumstances but the fruit of the Spirit who will fill me with Himself no matter what is going on in my world. Yielding to Him and asking for that fullness is always the right choice. With Him in charge, the situation may not change, but I will stop feeling sorry for myself and experience His love and concern for others, expressed by: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” (Galatians 5:22–24)

PRAY: Jesus, You used a dream last night to show me how to stop those coughing attacks. What a lovely surprise, totally unexpected even though I’d asked for sound sleep. While I still don’t know the purpose of this trial, I do know that You are enough to bring good out of it. Help me be content with the fruit of the Spirit and not try to figure out anything other than just trusting You to take care of me and those I’m concerned for as You work in our lives.

To-do list for old timers (and newcomers too)

Bette Midler once said regarding her body, “After fifty, it’s just maintenance, maintenance, maintenance.” Those in that age bracket will agree. However, I try not to focus on the state of my body since this is too easy the topic of conversation for us seniors. It tends to fill my head with a ‘me’ focus that is not healthy for my spiritual life.

At the end of 2 Peter, this disciple writes about focus as God’s people wait for the end of life and the return of Jesus Christ. He puts the focus on my spiritual state and gives me some practical assignments . . .

Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace. And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him . . . You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ . . . . (2 Peter 3:14–18)

Be found by Him without spot or blemish. This isn’t about freckles or pimples but about sin. No one is sinless in this life, but keeping short accounts is possible. That is, God wants me to confess and forsake any sinful and selfish attitudes and actions as soon as I realize they are present. The benefits include continual fellowship with God and His people, having a child-like humility and attitude toward life, and a good night’s sleep!

Be at peace. No worrying. How is that even possible? For me, it means trusting the Lord with everything, and to do that, I must believe in His love and power. He is sovereign over this world and all that is in it. If not, I’d be in a stew about everything because nearly everything seems to be coming unraveled. Trusting the Lord means being able to take my burdens to Him and leave them in His care. I cannot do that without firmly believing He hears me and will answer my prayers. His answers may not be what I expect, but trust isn’t concerned about my thoughts and opinions, only about His loving wisdom.

Count patience as salvation. Peter also said that I’m to consider patience as a huge factor in salvation. Impatience is me trying to run things my way — and that is the essence of sin. Patience is evidence of faith, of knowing God is taking care of things and being okay with that. It is not an anxious ‘wait and see’ but a settled and peaceful yielding to His will.

Don’t get carried away. Spiritual maintenance includes standing firm on what I believe, not carried away by the teaching of those who have no regard for the basic principles of faith. The foundations of trust and obey, of knowing and believing, are the firm places. I don’t need to study error to know it — I only need to study truth.

Grow in grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. Last but not least I am to grow by studying Him, spending time with Him. Listening. Following His leading. Seeking His face. Reviewing and remembering His words. Doing whatever is necessary to deepen my relationship with this man who is God — who saved me for all eternity!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Jesus, this is simple stuff for this old-timer, basic for those who are new to the faith, yet powerful. Doing the will of God is not as challenging as wanting to do the will of God. I must want to abandon the habits and old sinful ways and dictates of the world, the flesh, and the devil. Keep me close as I desire to stay close. I love You and want to bring You glory in this life and in the life to come!

Today’s thankful list . . .

- having basics to keep me growing and in God’s will.

- faith is practical!

- a good workout at the gym.

- motion detector light switches.

- time for a much-needed nap this afternoon.

- chicken tacos and salt-free chips.

Patience is a learning curve . . .

They say patience is a virtue. I know for certain that it doesn’t come naturally. Children are impatient little creatures and do not outgrow it. It is a virtue by choice. I can choose to be patient with my grandkids, patient in traffic, patient when my sewing thread knots; the list is long for just the ordinary stuff of life.

The Bible tells me to be patient about a lot of things too. One of them involves waiting for Jesus to come. James 5:7 says, “Be patient, therefore, brothers (and sisters) until the coming of the Lord.” In context, it describes the Lord’s admonition to rich people who abuse their situation in life. With this, I realize I must also be patient with those who seem to get away with a sinful lifestyle . . .

Come now, you rich, weep and howl for the miseries that are coming upon you. Your riches have rotted and your garments are moth-eaten. Your gold and silver have corroded, and their corrosion will be evidence against you and will eat your flesh like fire. You have laid up treasure in the last days. Behold, the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, are crying out against you, and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts. You have lived on the earth in luxury and in self-indulgence. You have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the righteous person. He does not resist you. (James 5:1–6)

The old saw, “You cannot take it with you” is true, yet not a lot of comfort for those who have nothing to enjoy here. This isn’t just about money. I talked with a man last week who has diabetes. He could not understand why, what caused it, or why his efforts to live well were not working. He was obviously envious of those who are healthy and expressed his lack of patience in a God who didn’t seem to hear his prayers.

The above passage talks about the transient value of money. What about youth and good looks? They are transient too. However, I know a woman who is in her fifties and dresses like a teen. Although she is a grandmother, she refuses to be called one. She is determined to stay in the category of bombshell even though the wrinkles of age are making their mark.

At the other extreme are those who are aging and want to be out of this life. They are tired, have lost all their friends, and the stuff they once enjoyed is no longer fun. Life for them was once filled with the good things but that is no more. They just want out.

My mother once told me that all the hobbies and fun things I enjoyed would one day lose their charm. At the time, I didn’t agree with her. How could that happen? Yet as I grow older, I no longer want to do a dozen things at a time or be busy all day. One project is enough. Keeping up with household chores like cooking and cleaning is almost enough. I make quilts for people but am fully aware that they will not last forever, nor will I.

At one time I wanted to make my mark on the world, not like the rich people James describes who did their thing at the expense of others, yet nevertheless had ambitions. Now this has changed and learning to be patient is a more important goal. If life interrupts my plans, I’m not in a tizzy about the interruption. God has control of such things. Also, Jesus is going to return. That could be tomorrow and if it is, what significance do those plans have? None at all.

“Be patient until the coming of the Lord” is all encompassing. Patient with those who seem to have no concern for anyone other than themselves. Patient with God and His dealings in my life. Patient with getting older and losing my youth, patient with aches and pains or a heart that needs a computer to beat properly. Patient with young family members who are learning to be patient. Patient with thread knots, and the telephone ringing when I’m having a bubble bath, and telemarketers trying to sell me new windows, and the endless cook-eat-wash up routines of life. Patient with God whose answers to my prayers are sometimes so slow.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Lord Jesus, I’m thankful that I am not one of those people who got rich by fraud and excessive self-indulgence. I’m thankful that Your patience with me has been a learning curve, not a string of disappointments. I’m also glad that patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit because left to me, I’d still be whining, “I want what I want right now.” You are good. I can wait until You return, with patience. Some days just barely, but since You never leave me or forsake me, I can wait until I see Your precious face.

Today’s thankful list . . .

- Long lovely drive in the country.

- Seeing harvest happening.

- Seeing family and laughing together.

- Homemade tomato soup with cheese and crackers.

- Our hockey team won again.

- The smell of fresh laundry.