Walk by faith, not by sight or…

Since having pneumonia, changing to a Mac instead of a PC (learning curve) and having challenges come at me one after the other, I’m realizing a helplessness that is important to Christian living but I’m not enjoying it very much. Being dependent on Christ alone is not as easy as the words to many of our hymns and songs claim it to be.

Today’s devotional says many Christians sing words like: “Thou, O Christ, art all I want, More than all in Thee I find” but the author doubts if we could honestly say those words express the reality in our experience. I get that. Recently being several times in situations of helplessness, I’ve felt like being in a foreign land where I don’t know the language, have no one to guide me, and the map isn’t making sense. Lost, no routine, not even a friendly face.

Yes, that is an exaggeration, and I do realize that this is part of the sanctification process. I do want to honestly say God is enough, but my experience has been pushing me in many directions. I would like a constant realization of His presence, a sense of His love, and consistent answers to my prayers. Even so, I’m not sure what ‘Christ alone’ looks or feels like. Maybe David didn’t either when he wrote these words;

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. (Psalm 62:1–2)

It might be easier to describe what this means by what it does not mean. I do trust Christ alone for my salvation. Helplessness adds to the truth that in ourselves, we are not able to be godly people, never mind set ourselves on the way to heaven or gain eternal life. This is a given.

However, to say that God is enough is not about having sound doctrines. While having them challenged does not make them unsound, it does wipe any cocky confidence out of my heart. I cannot rely on every jot and tittle in my beliefs when helplessness also mocks them. If I know it all, why then do I suffer as if I know nothing?

God is enough is not about good feelings either, no more than I can rely on ‘my feelings, or on any righteous works, or fervent prayers, or earnest striving’ as the devotional writer says, because waiting on God can seem like building on the sand. He cannot be second-guessed. That means “God is enough” is not being sure about much of anything else.

At the same time, in all that uncertainty, I cannot put my trust in God alone because all else fails and there is nowhere else to go. I need to trust Him alone just because God is God — whether I can hear Him speak, or see Him at work, or know for sure that He is answering my prayers.

PRAY: Lord, it is easiest to trust You when You speak and when I can see You in action. Yet when I cannot, You have not changed. You are who You are and faith means knowing You will do what You do whether I am in on it or not. Keep me close.

I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. (Psalm 18:1–3)