Don’t be a ‘miserable comforter’

 

 

READ Job 5-8

Two truths come to mind through reading the words of Job’s ‘friend’ and Job’s reply. One is the difference between conviction by the Holy Spirit and accusations from our unholy enemy. The Holy Spirit is specific. He points to the sin, my sinful motivations, telling me exactly what I have done or not done that I should have done.

The enemy of my soul is vague in his accusations. I feel guilty but am not certain why, or think I have done something against God but I don’t know what it is. He also makes me feel like I must earn/deserve God’s favor.

Eliphaz started out with praise for the good things Job has done. However, he soon begins to talk of how God disciplines His people, then brings them back to prosperity and even says, “You shall come to your grave in ripe old age” after telling Job, “As for me. I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause, who does great things and unsearchable, marvelous thing without number . . . .” with words following that seem based on the assumption that Job was suffering because God was trying to make right a problem in his life.

This ‘friend’ told truth in a general sense yet he was vague about the nature of the problem. He did not have a clue about Job’s sin, either what it was or even the certainty of it. He was moralizing to a very troubled man rather than comforting him. Given the tendency of human nature to easily take credit for good things in our lives and blame ourselves if that goodness fails, these words could have put Job into deeper despair. He could have responded to this speech with, “Yes, I must have erred, otherwise God would not let all this happen to me” as if he was earning all his blessings by his own goodness.

Job did not do that. He knew that what he was going through was not discipline or punishment. His response was a challenge to his ‘friends’:

“Teach me, and I will be silent; make me understand how I have gone astray. How forceful are upright words! But what does reproof from you reprove? Do you think that you can reprove words, when the speech of a despairing man is wind? You would even cast lots over the fatherless, and bargain over your friend. But now, be pleased to look at me, for I will not lie to your face. Please turn; let no injustice be done. Turn now; my vindication is at stake. Is there any injustice on my tongue? Cannot my palate discern the cause of calamity?” (Job 6:24–30)

He clearly knew that if God was rebuking him, then God would be specific and not hide it from him. Job was deeply suffering for reasons unknown. He needed comfort, not accusations, words of trust not ‘try harder.’ He knew God would not speak vaguely and would pardon him had he actually done wrong, but his situation felt like death without reason. He was dismayed at God’s silence.

The other truth that pops out at me is that when others are deeply suffering, to watch out for a reaction of fear. Job realized his ‘friends’ came to him sure of themselves, but that didn’t last long:

“He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. My brothers are treacherous as a torrent-bed, as torrential streams that pass away, which are dark with ice, and where the snow hides itself. When they melt, they disappear; when it is hot, they vanish from their place . . . . They are ashamed because they were confident; they come there and are disappointed. For you have now become nothing; you see my calamity and are afraid. Have I said, ‘Make me a gift’? Or ‘From your wealth offer a bribe for me’? Or ‘Deliver me from the adversary’s hand’? Or ‘Redeem me from the hand of the ruthless’? (Job 6:14–23)

Job did not ask them to ‘fix’ his problem, yet when they saw his anguish, they could not deal with it. At first they were silent (see 2:13) and maybe should have stayed that way, yet they could not bear it with him. Job wanted comfort and struggled to understand what was happening. He also wanted them to believe God was not punishing him. But they were in fear. My experience with fear is that it opposes sound thinking. How could friends’ tell this man who had lost everything including his children that it must have been his own fault?

Sometimes we do bring calamity on ourselves, but Job teaches the folly of making assumptions then trying to solve the problems in another person’s life. This can be unkind if based on “I will fix this because I cannot bear it” — a very selfish reason.

These ‘friends’ did not have a clue why Job was suffering. Unless it involves others, God does not tell others the reasons for what He is doing in my life either. To be a friend, I must not stick my nose where it does not belong. Instead, Christ calls me to “suffer with those who suffer” and remind them of His unconditional love and mercy. He is still with us even if the sense of it gets lost because of our helpless condition.