Value a good reputation, but…

Now the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and a harmful spirit from the Lord tormented him. And Saul’s servants said to him, “Behold now, a harmful spirit from God is tormenting you. Let our lord now command your servants who are before you to seek out a man who is skillful in playing the lyre, and when the harmful spirit from God is upon you, he will play it, and you will be well.” So Saul said to his servants, “Provide for me a man who can play well and bring him to me.” One of the young men answered, “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.” Therefore Saul sent messengers to Jesse and said, “Send me David your son, who is with the sheep.” And Jesse took a donkey laden with bread and a skin of wine and a young goat and sent them by David his son to Saul. And David came to Saul and entered his service. And Saul loved him greatly, and he became his armor-bearer. And Saul sent to Jesse, saying, “Let David remain in my service, for he has found favor in my sight.” And whenever the harmful spirit from God was upon Saul, David took the lyre and played it with his hand. So Saul was refreshed and was well, and the harmful spirit departed from him. (1 Samuel 16:14–23)

Last week during a monthly meeting with a small group of quilters, one person brought a small accordion shaped storage box made of cloth that someone gave her. It looked complex and we could not figure out how it was made. Finally someone said to me, “You are good at finding information, so see if there is a pattern for it on the internet.”

That remark pleased me. People can have a reputation for many things, from playing a lyre to finding instructions, but having someone value what I can do well made me feel encouraged to keep doing it.

A few days later, another skill was pointed out and when no one seemed interested, I concluded that happened to keep my pride in check!

David likely didn’t have that problem. At least I couldn’t see any record of him boasting about playing music for the king. Not only that, that same king repeatedly tried to kill him. 

As I watch world news, it seems that there is a danger in doing well because attacks eventually come. Others are jealous, or consider the well-thought of person is a threat. Those or other reasons can even go as far as King Saul did. He enjoyed David’s skill but eventually tried to kill him. God can use a skill to help others, but sometimes that skill brings out the sinful attitudes of those who envy them.

Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. (1 Peter 2:12)

Jesus, I realize times where You do not want me to reveal what You have done in my life, perhaps because my talk does not match my walk. I need to be on guard against hypocrisy as well as boasting. However, if and when I do good, You should be praised. May my deeds match Your will so that others never criticize or find fault with You but give You glory.

Subtle boasting exposed

At times my mind works like a story-telling uncle whose thoughts rambled from A to B to XYZ and finally back to C. This happened today and my devotions rambled until thoughts finally added up and made sense. Easy for me, but difficult and shameful to describe.

First, I remembered a new believer in her late nineties who didn’t tell her family she finally trusted Christ. They had shared the gospel with her for years, but she did not tell her family she now believed. I told them, then suggested they change their words to suit a person new to the faith.

Then I read today’s devotional in which the author said Jesus motivated godly behavior by telling them the hope of being with God in heaven, and motivated radical purity with the fear of torment in hell. He added that for Jesus, a desire for heaven and a fear of hell were practical, daily parts of living a holy life. 

I don’t see Jesus doing that. Instead, His words depended on who He was talking to. Those with faith heard encouragement to live out their faith. Those who didn’t believe were reminded of the consequences. The reason for this distinction is that there is no danger of going to hell for those with genuine saving faith.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1–2)
I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. (John 10:28–29)
I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life. (1 John 5:13)

That reminded me of a church I once attended that taught salvation was my decision and I could decide to not trust God and change my destination. This teaching says I am ruler of my life rather than Jesus being Lord and Savior. I was a new Christian at the time, but was certain this thinking put me on the throne instead of Jesus. 

Since the OT defines sin like this: “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:6) I knew that going my own way was not only vanity and pride, but also sin. Besides that, the NT is filled with the gospel of salvation by faith. While I am told to believe, it says that both salvation and faith are God’s gift, not my doing. 

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8–9)

Boasting is ruled out because I would not and could not do this by myself: 

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12–13)

Then my mind took another leap to thinking about how even as a saved and secure child of God, this “doing my own way” too easily creeps into everything. And God startled me with another truth that was like a wallop on the side of my head. I realize at that moment that I can boast about what God is doing in my life but instead of putting the emphasis on God, put it on “in my life” as if I am now doing so good that I’ve earned all this blessing and answered prayer. DUH. How twisted to use God’s goodness as an ego trip.

At that, I then realized that it is easier to brag about His favor than to boast about my weaknesses. Even though Jesus spoke of hell to those without faith, He reminded me of what I am saved from, and that I don’t do any of that saving myself. I have nothing to boast about. Instead of humility, I have used His glory to build my ego. Shame on me.

PRAY: Jesus, this pride thing pops up. You are kind to me — I’m proud of that, as if I deserve it. You hear and answer prayer — I boast of that, as if I’m special. You surprise me with Your goodness — I boast of that, as if You treat me better than others. Sigh. You will humble those who exalt themselves. My pride is not from You and is a deception and a dangerous sin. Purify my heart. . . .  

God only wise…

What a great vanity for a glow-worm to boast that is as full of light as the sun — leaving its proper place only to fall into confusion and thicken its own darkness. This is God's lesson again,  another instruction in the folly of thinking I can run my own life in even the least dimension without needing the wisdom of God. Such epitome of pride.

Charnock jolts me by saying how humans, by pushing the wisdom of God aside in Eden, got a crack in the head which has continued more than five thousand years. And we can feel so secure with our heads, not realizing they do not work as our Creator intended.

You felt secure in your wickedness; you said, “No one sees me”; your wisdom and your knowledge led you astray, and you said in your heart, “I am, and there is no one besides me.” (Isaiah 47:10)

To be guided by my wisdom is to be led by a blind leader, even to follow a traitor and enemy to God and ourselves. My prudence often proves hurtful to me as it fails even when I thought I was okay and had no idea that my glowing was that of a mere bug in the scheme of things.

Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? (1 Corinthians 1:20)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5–8)

To fear the Lord and depart from evil is inconsistent with my conceit of my own wisdom, and totally inconsistent with trusting in the Lord with all my heart. It is God-playing to trust my own wit as if it were equal with or superior to the wisdom of God. The only solution God gives:

Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. (1 Corinthians 3:18)

The true way to wisdom is to be sensible of my own weakness, and it is not merely dropping the comparison but realizing there is no comparison. Since the fall, human wisdom is the wisdom of the serpent without the innocence of the dove. It flows from self-love, runs into self-interest. It is the wisdom of the flesh, and a choice — when I cannot bother with God, but do my own thing. But my ‘best’ wisdom is imperfect, a mere nothing and vanity. How even dare I compare myself in any way with God? If a holy and innocent wisdom is to be had, I must fill my empty well from His pure fountain.

The OT speaks that even if “many years teach wisdom, it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes us understand. It is not the old who are wise, nor the aged who understand what is right.” (Job 32:7–9) Even a child can be a vessel for the wisdom of God.

The NT affirms: “We know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.” (1 John 5:20)

PRAY: Such shame to think that I can do anything apart from seeking Your face and mind. It is through Your precepts I get understanding and how I learn to hate every false way. Whatsoever comes from You is always wise. All that You do in this world is wise, good, righteous; because You are essentially wise, good and righteous. And the gospel is evidence of our folly — for if You told me Your Son should be crucified, I would think it cruel and unjust. How can goodness and the only One who kept the law die for those who violate it? Yet as Your wisdom unravelled Your plan, You show the marvel of how You put together justice and mercy, love and wisdom, no matter how absurd it appeared to the ‘whacked in the head’ reasoning of humans, me included. Put my foolish pride where it belongs. Replace it with greater reliance on You, including the things I think I can handle without You. And to the only wise God be glory, through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen.