Subtle boasting exposed

At times my mind works like a story-telling uncle whose thoughts rambled from A to B to XYZ and finally back to C. This happened today and my devotions rambled until thoughts finally added up and made sense. Easy for me, but difficult and shameful to describe.

First, I remembered a new believer in her late nineties who didn’t tell her family she finally trusted Christ. They had shared the gospel with her for years, but she did not tell her family she now believed. I told them, then suggested they change their words to suit a person new to the faith.

Then I read today’s devotional in which the author said Jesus motivated godly behavior by telling them the hope of being with God in heaven, and motivated radical purity with the fear of torment in hell. He added that for Jesus, a desire for heaven and a fear of hell were practical, daily parts of living a holy life. 

I don’t see Jesus doing that. Instead, His words depended on who He was talking to. Those with faith heard encouragement to live out their faith. Those who didn’t believe were reminded of the consequences. The reason for this distinction is that there is no danger of going to hell for those with genuine saving faith.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1–2)
I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. (John 10:28–29)
I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life. (1 John 5:13)

That reminded me of a church I once attended that taught salvation was my decision and I could decide to not trust God and change my destination. This teaching says I am ruler of my life rather than Jesus being Lord and Savior. I was a new Christian at the time, but was certain this thinking put me on the throne instead of Jesus. 

Since the OT defines sin like this: “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:6) I knew that going my own way was not only vanity and pride, but also sin. Besides that, the NT is filled with the gospel of salvation by faith. While I am told to believe, it says that both salvation and faith are God’s gift, not my doing. 

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8–9)

Boasting is ruled out because I would not and could not do this by myself: 

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12–13)

Then my mind took another leap to thinking about how even as a saved and secure child of God, this “doing my own way” too easily creeps into everything. And God startled me with another truth that was like a wallop on the side of my head. I realize at that moment that I can boast about what God is doing in my life but instead of putting the emphasis on God, put it on “in my life” as if I am now doing so good that I’ve earned all this blessing and answered prayer. DUH. How twisted to use God’s goodness as an ego trip.

At that, I then realized that it is easier to brag about His favor than to boast about my weaknesses. Even though Jesus spoke of hell to those without faith, He reminded me of what I am saved from, and that I don’t do any of that saving myself. I have nothing to boast about. Instead of humility, I have used His glory to build my ego. Shame on me.

PRAY: Jesus, this pride thing pops up. You are kind to me — I’m proud of that, as if I deserve it. You hear and answer prayer — I boast of that, as if I’m special. You surprise me with Your goodness — I boast of that, as if You treat me better than others. Sigh. You will humble those who exalt themselves. My pride is not from You and is a deception and a dangerous sin. Purify my heart. . . .