Subtle boasting exposed

At times my mind works like a story-telling uncle whose thoughts rambled from A to B to XYZ and finally back to C. This happened today and my devotions rambled until thoughts finally added up and made sense. Easy for me, but difficult and shameful to describe.

First, I remembered a new believer in her late nineties who didn’t tell her family she finally trusted Christ. They had shared the gospel with her for years, but she did not tell her family she now believed. I told them, then suggested they change their words to suit a person new to the faith.

Then I read today’s devotional in which the author said Jesus motivated godly behavior by telling them the hope of being with God in heaven, and motivated radical purity with the fear of torment in hell. He added that for Jesus, a desire for heaven and a fear of hell were practical, daily parts of living a holy life. 

I don’t see Jesus doing that. Instead, His words depended on who He was talking to. Those with faith heard encouragement to live out their faith. Those who didn’t believe were reminded of the consequences. The reason for this distinction is that there is no danger of going to hell for those with genuine saving faith.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1–2)
I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. (John 10:28–29)
I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life. (1 John 5:13)

That reminded me of a church I once attended that taught salvation was my decision and I could decide to not trust God and change my destination. This teaching says I am ruler of my life rather than Jesus being Lord and Savior. I was a new Christian at the time, but was certain this thinking put me on the throne instead of Jesus. 

Since the OT defines sin like this: “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:6) I knew that going my own way was not only vanity and pride, but also sin. Besides that, the NT is filled with the gospel of salvation by faith. While I am told to believe, it says that both salvation and faith are God’s gift, not my doing. 

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8–9)

Boasting is ruled out because I would not and could not do this by myself: 

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12–13)

Then my mind took another leap to thinking about how even as a saved and secure child of God, this “doing my own way” too easily creeps into everything. And God startled me with another truth that was like a wallop on the side of my head. I realize at that moment that I can boast about what God is doing in my life but instead of putting the emphasis on God, put it on “in my life” as if I am now doing so good that I’ve earned all this blessing and answered prayer. DUH. How twisted to use God’s goodness as an ego trip.

At that, I then realized that it is easier to brag about His favor than to boast about my weaknesses. Even though Jesus spoke of hell to those without faith, He reminded me of what I am saved from, and that I don’t do any of that saving myself. I have nothing to boast about. Instead of humility, I have used His glory to build my ego. Shame on me.

PRAY: Jesus, this pride thing pops up. You are kind to me — I’m proud of that, as if I deserve it. You hear and answer prayer — I boast of that, as if I’m special. You surprise me with Your goodness — I boast of that, as if You treat me better than others. Sigh. You will humble those who exalt themselves. My pride is not from You and is a deception and a dangerous sin. Purify my heart. . . .  

I’m not the center of my world…

After writing yesterday’s devotional thoughts about glorifying God instead of ME, my emotions went from joy to sadness, but at first the reason was not apparent. Later, it became obvious that I really would like to glorify me. The train image of facts < faith < feelings came to mind and I thought about the facts of what Jesus has done, then realized this was just ME trying to bring back the joy. I could hear the Lord asking — was having His joy more important than having Him? The day seemed long and I went to bed thinking if this was what He wanted for me, then I had to accept it. But did I want to? Not much.

This morning’s reading puts forward another thought that I must agree with. It begins with this word from Jesus:

And in his teaching he said, “Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes and like greetings in the marketplaces and have the best seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at feasts, who devour widows’ houses and for a pretense make long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation.” (Mark 12:38–40)

The devotional writer points out how some people think they are humble and lowly in heart when they say bitter and disparaging things about themselves. This is not true. Most do not realize that the giant ME is as much exalted and puffed up by self-blame as by self-praise. I agree. That old nature is so greedy for attention that if it cannot be praised, it would rather be criticized than not noticed at all.

This means thinking bad things about myself is almost as good as thinking good of myself because saying, “I am so bad” gets ME thinking that I am humble. I’ve known this truth, even taught others how the flesh will take negative attention as well as positive just as long as the attention is on ME. Both extremes are sinful and hold a definition of humility that is not biblical.

Yesterday, my thoughts about glorifying the Lord were biblically correct, but that was not humility for I found myself thinking it was good of me to take that stand. As the devotional writer says, “what can be more delicious to self-love than to hear itself applauded for seeming to be humble?”

So I’m not really what I should be. The truly meek and lowly heart does not want to talk about ME at all, either for good or evil. The power of Christ is there and to be glorified from the heart, not mere lip service because it is the right thing to do. No wonder the Holy Spirit let me experience His grief at my correct but insincere words. He says:

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. (Romans 12:3)

C. S. Lewis adds that true humility does not think highly or lowly of self, but does not think about self at all. My focus for the family reunion needs to be on those who attend, not on what I need to do to make this a great event, etc. I also need to remember Jesus in the garden saying, “Not my will but thine be done.” And remember what Paul wrote about the Lord’s humility:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3–8)

PRAY: Jesus, You live in me and the only way I can get my mind off ME is to think with Your mind and not my old nature. Apart from You, I can do nothing (true) but in You, all things are possible. Have Your way in my heart, no matter how impossible it might seem.

 

Glory to God, not to me

 

Our family has a big event coming up in a few weeks. It began when God suggested to me through a distant relative’s eager desire that we should have a family reunion. I argued with Him. Knowing the work involved and my inability to organize such an event, I simply did not want to do it. However, He persisted, even waking me up several times very early in the morning with a to-do list of ideas. One of them was to enlist a few helpers.

The plans came together and invites were drafted and sent to everyone that had emails — which took some scrounging. Now, we have a venue near the farms where my parents and Dad’s siblings all grew up, a caterer, music volunteered by family members, and many other perks, plus nearly 100 who said they are coming. I am overwhelmed and excited, but also nervous about the doing of it.

I have imagined people thanking me for all my ‘hard work’ to make this happen and have even patted myself on the back a few times. But how dare I to forget this was God’s idea and the work of His Holy Spirit to guide me and remind me? Today’s reading is a warning again about making ME the center of my life. This Scripture speaks to my heart about the attitude God wants me to have, now, and at this big event, and always…

“When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him, and he who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this person,’ and then you will begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke 14:8–11)

It is not a wedding feast yet I was invited to make it happen by the Lord who loves bringing families together. He cares that we see one another and enjoy time talking and sharing our lives. He planned this event and He gave much needed energy and ideas to bring it this far. God needs to be “moved up higher” and I need to take the lowest place and consider how to honor and bless others, as well as giving glory to God. The glory of such a gathering is not mine.

PRAY: Jesus, thank You for reminding me that all of what has happened, is happening, and will happen is because of You. Your hand is in the plan and the working out of that plan. I’ve been amazed at the ideas and help of others. One person even said if someone could not come because of financial needs, he would pay their way. This is a God-thing. Not all of this family knows and lives for You yet those who believe in You have pitched in with enthusiasm. I’m trusting You to bring us together with whatever purpose You have in mind. Certainly You will bless us in surprising ways as You already do, and it is my hope that some will realize Your grace and power and their lives will be transformed. Forgive me for letting the desires of ME to sneak into this. Keep my focus where it should be… loving them because of Your love, and blessing them because I’ve been blessed.

In God’s hands

 

For the past few weeks, I’ve been caught up in what I thought God was doing and glorying in it, then found out I was wrong. Even if God was doing something, I was trying to share in His glory. Today, I read this:

A great concert violinist wanted to prove a point. He rented a music hall and announced that he would play a concert on a $20,000 violin. That night, the music hall was filled with music lovers, all anxious to hear this expensive instrument. The violinist gave an exquisite performance and received a thunderous standing ovation. When the applause subsided, he threw the violin to the floor, stomped it to pieces, and walked off the stage. The audience gasped, then sat in stunned silence.

Within seconds the stage manager approached the microphone and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, to put you at ease, the violin that was just destroyed was a $20 violin. The master will now return to play the remainder of his concert on the $20,000 instrument.” At the conclusion of his concert, he received another standing ovation. Few people could tell the difference between the two violins. His point was obvious: it isn’t the violin that makes the music; it’s the violinist.

It is bad enough to feel like a $20 violin but worse to realize that my performance can be mere noise. This isn’t about God using me to make music, but about me trying to do it without reading the notes. This is not to say that God is unable to use weak and useless people, but to remember He does it — I don’t. And it is for His glory, not mine. And my attitude is supposed to be like His:

Yet I do not seek my own glory; there is One who seeks it, and he is the judge. (John 8:50)

Jesus gives clear instructions about His ability and mine . . .

I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing . . . . If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. (John 15:1–8)

Jesus said that seeking my own glory indicates I am speaking on my own authority, not His (John 7:18) and that He did not receive glory from people (John 5:41). He also warned:

Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 6:1)

No wonder the Master stomped on my violin. Regardless of my worth, I can do nothing without Him and He longs to reward me for doing right. Robbing Him of glory is foolhardy.

PRAY: Jesus, I am thankful You promise to complete what You have begun in me. I’m also thankful that You forgive what I confess. It is okay to be joyful when I see You at work, but how foolish to take glory for myself in what You are doing. The difference may be subtle, even invisible to others, yet You make me aware of my selfishness. Grant me grace to be more and more alert to the times my old nature is tempted to push Your Spirit out so I can pat myself on the back. Instead, enable me to honor You — for You alone are worthy.

READ: 1 Timothy 1:12–17. What truths did Paul keep in mind as He served God?