What to do with annoying behavior . . .

Yesterday I struggled with what to do about the way another Christian was behaving. Do I confront? Rebuke? Forgive and forget? I asked God several questions. Why is this happening? It isn’t about her — You are trying to tell me something? What do You want from me concerning this annoying behavior? Here is what He says:

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:14–19)

Most of my misbehavior finds its roots in thinking God does not love me. When that happens, I do things trying to make certain that somebody does. My ‘love language’ is to be heard — so I talk too much. Or I want affirmation — so I boast. Or show off. Or whatever.

This makes me think that this person is also struggling with a sense of value. Does God care? Does anyone else care? What shows up is rooted in some sort of fear or insecurity. Hence God urging me to pray — to pray like Paul prayed in the above passage — and to love her like God does. He can speak to her about this problem. As long as it annoys me, I am the one with the problem.

^^^^^Lord God, this person is Your child and in need of Your power and grace to understand the incredible scope of Your love for her. She also needs to be filled with the fullness of Your Spirit so that her actions reflect that love rather than attention-seeking or any other efforts to affirm it. My role in this is also to love her, to give her the gracious and caring attention that demonstrates Your unconditional, never-ending wide, long, high, deep love. Truly it surpasses human understanding. The only way any of us can know it is that You faithfully continue to show it to us.

This woman has been a Christian a long time. Growing old is difficult. I’m thinking of the prayer in the psalms:

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent . . . . O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. (Psalm 71: 9; 17–18)

If I ‘forsake’ this person because of a bad habit that bugs me, what am I saying to her about a common fear of those who are up in years? God forbid. I must be patient and kind, affirming rather than judging. Praying is never the wrong thing to do.

Then the Lord turns my eyes to the next verses from this passage in Ephesians:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20–21)

^^^^^^^^^^

And Jesus, You verify again that affirmation is what You would do for her, because in these verses You do it for me.

Today’s thankful list . . .

A long visit with a friend, prayer too, and she brought me a zucchini.

The smell of homemade bread.

Time to make half a blouse and a bowl of avocado dip.

Nine hours of sleep last night — I needed it.

God’s unconditional love — we all need that!