What to do with annoying behavior . . .

Yesterday I struggled with what to do about the way another Christian was behaving. Do I confront? Rebuke? Forgive and forget? I asked God several questions. Why is this happening? It isn’t about her — You are trying to tell me something? What do You want from me concerning this annoying behavior? Here is what He says:

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:14–19)

Most of my misbehavior finds its roots in thinking God does not love me. When that happens, I do things trying to make certain that somebody does. My ‘love language’ is to be heard — so I talk too much. Or I want affirmation — so I boast. Or show off. Or whatever.

This makes me think that this person is also struggling with a sense of value. Does God care? Does anyone else care? What shows up is rooted in some sort of fear or insecurity. Hence God urging me to pray — to pray like Paul prayed in the above passage — and to love her like God does. He can speak to her about this problem. As long as it annoys me, I am the one with the problem.

^^^^^Lord God, this person is Your child and in need of Your power and grace to understand the incredible scope of Your love for her. She also needs to be filled with the fullness of Your Spirit so that her actions reflect that love rather than attention-seeking or any other efforts to affirm it. My role in this is also to love her, to give her the gracious and caring attention that demonstrates Your unconditional, never-ending wide, long, high, deep love. Truly it surpasses human understanding. The only way any of us can know it is that You faithfully continue to show it to us.

This woman has been a Christian a long time. Growing old is difficult. I’m thinking of the prayer in the psalms:

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent . . . . O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. (Psalm 71: 9; 17–18)

If I ‘forsake’ this person because of a bad habit that bugs me, what am I saying to her about a common fear of those who are up in years? God forbid. I must be patient and kind, affirming rather than judging. Praying is never the wrong thing to do.

Then the Lord turns my eyes to the next verses from this passage in Ephesians:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20–21)

^^^^^^^^^^

And Jesus, You verify again that affirmation is what You would do for her, because in these verses You do it for me.

Today’s thankful list . . .

A long visit with a friend, prayer too, and she brought me a zucchini.

The smell of homemade bread.

Time to make half a blouse and a bowl of avocado dip.

Nine hours of sleep last night — I needed it.

God’s unconditional love — we all need that!

Anything is forgivable except . . .

Jesus spoke of a sin that could not be forgiven. Theologians debate the identity of this sin, maybe because the simple answer is too simple? It can be found in this passage:

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” (John 3:17–21)

Those who refuse the Son of God after being given all they need to know about who He is and His offer of salvation are unforgivable — unless of course their minds are changed and they decide light is better than darkness. God will forgive their unbelief as soon as it is confessed as sin, but while it remains, their sin of unbelief in the face of knowing the truth is unforgivable.

Tozer says that anyone concerned about having committed the unpardonable sin may be sure he or she has not! Consider the opposite, those Pharisees who believed themselves to be righteous. They felt no need for repentance, no sorrow for sin, no guilt for unbelief. They had seen Jesus in action doing what only God can do and still said NO. They were in a state of unforgiveness.

My prayer list has many names of those who do not believe in Jesus. Some of them seem clueless about sin and their need for salvation. Some know the Gospel but insist, “don’t need that.” Not everyone is at the same place, but what can God do with people who know He exists, know that they are sinful, know that Jesus offers salvation, yet they refuse to accept it? they love darkness and are in that place of rejecting the Lord. They might change their minds if certain things happen to persuade them, but only God knows what that would require.

I’m convinced that salvation by grace happens when people hear the Gospel and are granted faith to believe it because the Spirit of God puts in them His new life. This happens in an instant and is totally a work of God. No one earns or deserves it. Grace is freely bestowed, and how God does it and even who He chooses to bless with it is a mystery. None of us deserve it and all of us are oblivious to our need until He opens our eyes. To me, it is also a mystery why anyone would say NO to God’s grace.

This means two practical things. One is to pray to God for people by name. Only He can give them new life. Prayer is part of the battle for that to happen.

The other is to share the gospel whenever I can — because faith comes by hearing. That new life is a gift received through hearing God speak. He might use the mouths or pens of His servants. He can also use the whispers of the Holy Spirit. Whatever He uses, those who love their sin and plug their ears are already condemned.

^^^^^^^^^

Lord Jesus, because of Your great grace, You forgive all sin, except that sin of rejecting this good news, of saying no to the gift. Yet also, because of Your great grace, You are able to overcome all resistance and bring sinners to the foot of the Cross and out of that dangerous place. You are amazing!

Who else?

World news burdens me. Fires, bombings, fighting, and other horrors fill the papers and the screen. Many people we know refuse to read or turn on radio and television news. I do, but only to pray for the people involved.

Last night, the news came more directly. Just as we went to bed, our son called to tell us a woman and her dog were hit by a car at a crosswalk beside to his house. Both were killed. He had been directing traffic while a passing paramedic tried to revive her and before the police arrived.

Sleep didn’t come easy. We prayed for the people involved; the woman’s husband and family, the family in the car that hit her, the first responders, and our son and his neighbors (gathered in his backyard in shock). As I listened to his call, my own shock and burden for the people in this and other news stories became more vivid, more of a reason to tell people about Jesus. Who else but Jesus can comfort those in peril or who have lost loved ones in accidents and other tragic events? Who else but Jesus can give lasting hope to the hopeless?

God knew far ahead of today what to say to me. I sit here thinking how much people need Jesus, not only for forgiveness and eternal life, but for this life. He is our shoulder to lean on, the One who carries us through all trials and difficulties. He gives help for today, hope for tomorrow, reassurance and a sense of never being alone.

In the years before Jesus came, the nation Israel had no prophets, no visions, no word from God. Some had lost hope. When Jesus came, they were under Roman rule and oppression, longing for political freedom and for the promised Messiah to come and deliver them.

After Jesus was born, John the Baptist was a forerunner, a man of God who pointed his people to Him. When he was speaking . . .

“One of the two who heard John speak and followed Jesus was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother. He first found his own brother Simon and said to him, ‘We have found the Messiah’ (which means Christ). He brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, ‘You are Simon the son of John. You shall be called Cephas’ (which means Peter).” (John 1:40–42)

We do not hear much about Andrew. He was not as significant in Christian history as Simon who became Peter, but he did do this significant thing — he brought Simon to Jesus.

As today’s devotional says, Andrew could not give Simon faith or show him Christ’s glory. He could not save him, but he could tell him what he had seen and bring Simon to a place where he could meet Christ for himself. This resulted in Simon’s conversion. Jesus changed him, even his name, and Simone Peter became a powerful person in the early church.

Sometimes I focus too much on what I cannot do. I feel so helpless listening to the news about daily injustice, accidents, deliberate violence, deaths, injuries, sorrows — and I cannot do anything about any of it. But I can pray. I can write. I can tell others that there is One who gives me grace to care about this world rather than turn my back on it, grace to care that others know about Him, the Messiah, the Savior of the world.

^^^^^^^^

Jesus, my story is not like Andrew’s, nor the mission in my life like the mission You gave Peter. Yet You have changed my life. I can remember when I didn’t give a rip about the tragic events in the world, or even in the lives of my friends and neighbors. I knew I should, but must admit that I had very little love for others. Since You came to me and gave me Your life, that changed. Also, my burden grows deeper for the spiritual well-being of the world, for the salvation of people who suffer from their own sin and the sin of others. You are a great Savior, the only One who can bring peace to troubled hearts and peace to a world that is becoming increasingly lawless and violent. I can talk to the world about You, and to You about the world. Save us, Lord Jesus, save us from ourselves.