My pre-salvation habit was a good habit and a not so good
habit. Because new Christians struggle to form the habit of daily reading the
Bible, my habit was helpful because I was already doing it. I copied my mother for
many years without understanding anything I read. I kept a journal and marked
RMB in the upper corner along with SMP, hating to miss daily reading and prayer
that left that corner blank.
However, it was a negative habit in that I can slip too
easily into letting these spiritual disciplines a duty, a box to check, a
file-card system like Tozer describes rather than a personal experience with God.
On those occasions I can feel guilty for breaking my habit when I should feel
guilty that I allowed my quiet time to become a ritual.
Imagine the joylessness of taking verses like these . . .
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–22)
And making them look like this . . .
o
I rejoiced all day
o
I prayed nonstop today
o
I gave thanks for everything
o
I’m not quenching the Spirit (even though making
a list like this does just that)
o
I loved the preaching I heard today and fully tested
it
o
I held on to the good that I heard today
o
I kept myself from all evil
The biggest error is revealed by all those “I’s” — making
this a self-righteous spirituality instead of walking in faith, living by
grace, filled with and motivated by the Spirit of God. A list of ‘rules’ keeps
even the sincerest believer from hearing God’s words, words that are personal
and for the needs of the moment.
Tozer warns that “inevitably
the calendar crowds out the Spirit and the face of the clock hides the face of
God.” He hits the problem dead on. Living a file-card Christianity produces
a hit or miss prayer life and a hit or miss ministry. Instead of consistent
freedom in following God’s leading, obedience gets mixed up with habits and
rules, robbing me of that freedom and spontaneity that Jesus Christ died so I
could enjoy.
^^^^^^^^^^
Lord Jesus, in the past few weeks, my heart condition has
robbed me of almost all ambition. Some days, I want to sleep all day. But You
are using this situation to show me how much effort I give to ‘be a good
Christian’ instead of simply trusting You and resting in Your presence. As
Tozer says, it is my privilege to live so fully in You that I never get out of
the experience of Your Presence for one moment, that my whole life becomes a
prayer, my thoughts become mental prayers, my deeds become prayers in action
and even sleep may be unconscious prayer.
NOTE: September 27 is pacemaker day, but it will not be
hooked up for a few weeks after that. The offending electrical impulses in my
heart are in the two upper chambers meaning that they must be zapped to put
them out of commission so the lower chambers and the pacemaker can take over.
This zapping (ablation) cannot be done until the pacemaker is in and healed.
Both are done without anesthetic, just local freezing. As shared above, God
uses all things to teach my ornery heart to pay attention to Him.
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