Accepting His answers . . .

Genesis 22; Nehemiah 11; Matthew 21; Acts 21

Yesterday was difficult. My sister is no longer here. Heaven is good, but I cannot see it. Walking by faith and not by sight is hard. Yet my sister made it clear that she was ready to die and be with Jesus. I wanted her to stay with us yet am glad she is with Jesus.

Sunday’s sermon helped these emotions. The pastor offered four questions to ask in difficult situations:

1. Do I believe God can do anything?

2. Am I willing to leave the ‘anything’ up to Him?

3. Am I willing to stop worrying or striving over the issue?

4. Will I accept His answers?

The hardest question is the last one because there is no other option. My sister will not be healed. I had stopped striving about that and let go. Now I’m praying that God will honor her desire for her memorial service — that Jesus will be lifted up and that God will be glorified. She didn’t want the funeral to be about her. But what if it is? Or what if it is blah, flesh-delivered? Or the music is awful? Yikes. Can I leave this up to Him?

Today’s reading in Genesis is about God asking Abraham to sacrifice his only son, the son God promised him. Most of us know the story. It was a test of faith and Abraham passed it. Just before the knife fell, God stopped Abraham:

And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided.” (Genesis 22:13–14)

Abraham had to trust God’s promises before he saw the ram. I feel like He is asking me to do the same, to trust Him without seeing. My sister wanted Jesus exalted at her memorial service. Will He do it?

I was thinking of that when I read the above verses, then saw the footnote in my Bible. It says the last part could be translated: “The LORD will see” and “On the mount of the LORD He will be seen.” This hit me as one of those ‘rhema’ words from God to my heart. He sees what is needed and in providing that need, He will be seen.

Surely the great need is redemption and forgiveness of sin. God provided Jesus to make that possible. Not only do I want the Gospel message central as my sister wanted, but people who attend will see that God has provided Jesus for their greatest need.

Matthew reminds me that God’s work is often done in ways that at first do not make sense. This goes back to before my sister died. She wanted spiritual revival in her hometown. Will God answer that desire of her heart by her death? He does grant answers to prayers made in faith. (Matthew 21:21–22)

I feel glad that God’s ways are often mysterious. One example is the way Paul was warned about his plan to go to Jerusalem . . .

A prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. And coming to us, he took Paul’s belt and bound his own feet and hands and said, “Thus says the Holy Spirit, ‘This is how the Jews at Jerusalem will bind the man who owns this belt and deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles.’ ” When we heard this, we and the people there urged him not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, “What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be imprisoned but even to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” And since he would not be persuaded, we ceased and said, “Let the will of the Lord be done.” (Acts 21:10–14)

Again, I connect this with my sister’s deep desire for revival and for Christ to be exalted. She also wanted no special effort made as her health deteriorated. She was ready for the will of God to be done. He could have healed her, yet He put her in a situation where it was obvious this was her time to go and she was ready, even excited to see Him. Will her memorial be part of His answers to her prayer and mine?

It is easy to say, “Thy will be done” yet harder to accept if His will does not fit with my hopes. On the other hand, He could do “far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us”  (Ephesians 3:20) and bring glory to Himself in a mighty way.

Again, He can do anything. I need Him to enable me to leave that ‘anything’ to His grace and wisdom, quit being anxious about it, and prepare to accept whatever happens, still convinced that He knows best.

Heaven’s gain . . .

Genesis 18; Nehemiah 7; Matthew 17; Acts 17

Last night about 10:30 the heaviness of waiting and concern for my sister lifted. At that moment, I knew that Jesus was reaching out to take her hand and lead her home. The call came early this morning but I already knew. She is with Jesus and for that I rejoice.

God sometimes makes the future known to His people. The first passage I read today described how the Lord came with two angels and had lunch with Abraham. As these heavenly visitors left, the passage included this:

Then the men set out from there, and they looked down toward Sodom. And Abraham went with them to set them on their way. The Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do . . . ?” (Genesis 18:16–17)

My best friend is gone. We were buddies. I cannot remember ever having an argument with her. She was more than a sister, a double sister in Christ. We shared so much. And Jesus let me know what He was about to do.

I kept reading. In Matthew, the Lord again revealed to His people what was going to happen . . .

As they were gathering in Galilee, Jesus said to them, “The Son of Man is about to be delivered into the hands of men, and they will kill him, and he will be raised on the third day.” And they were greatly distressed. (Matthew 17:22–23)

Of course they were distressed. He’d told them before and they didn’t get it, but now they understood. Their beloved Jesus was going to die. It seems the resurrection part was beyond their comprehension, but they did realized that His death was eminent. He let them know and even the distress was part of His way of preparing them. Such is our Lord. He knows what we need to know.

My sister’s main caregiver was her daughter-in-law. We talked about her and agreed that my sister had an evangelistic heart. She wanted everyone to know about Jesus. God blessed me as I read this passage from Acts. He whispered to me that this is what my sister wanted to say to all the people she met:

The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for “ ‘In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, “ ‘For we are indeed his offspring.’ Being then God’s offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man. The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead.” (Acts 17:24–31)

I know that Jesus is holding her hand. He has led her for many years and now she is with Him and all the struggles of the past few years are over. She spent her last day with family and hearing His Word read. She was excited. She was ready. And because of the grace of God, even though I will miss her so much, He helped me be ready also.

Aging Well

One of my friends celebrated her 90^th birthday this year. She would not use the word ‘celebrate’ because she says this is the first time that she has felt old. She says, “I don’t know how to do ninety.” She struggles to explain her emotions.

I’ve thought about that statement and tried to understand what she is feeling. She could mean that at her age, it is difficult to make plans for she does not know how much time she has left or what the future holds. This is true for everyone, but when those birthdays pile up it comes into sharper focus. This thought helps me with today’s devotional reading:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. (James 4:13–17)

From my hubby and life, I’ve learned the importance of thinking ahead and making plans. As the old saying goes, It is better to aim for the stars and hit the woodpile, then to aim for the woodpile and hit your foot. Or aim for nothing and you will surely hit it! However, God says I’m to consider the unpredictability of life as the above passage says, and the will of God. I can make my plans but God often uses life to interrupt or change them.

This is something of what my friend is feeling as she ages. She hesitates to make plans because she is not certain she can carry them out. For me, that would feel like being tossed in the air and not sure if I will come down, an ‘in limbo’ sensation and not at all pleasant because of its uncertainty.

This week she also explained that she is here yet she feels like she is slowly disappearing. For that, another passage came instantly to mind. As I read it to her, she flipped the pages in her Bible and read it again, all the time saying, “Hallelujah, Hallelujah!”

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16–18)

She said that all her life God has been preparing her for glory. This must be her focus, not just now as her time approaches, but it has been true for a long time. Nothing has changed at becoming ninety, only that she is closer to the reality of experiencing that promised ‘eternal weight of glory’ that is unseen yet nevertheless real and eternal.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Lord Jesus, I thank You for this friend whose words and life constantly point to You and Your promises. She struggles with the visible and transient stuff of life, including her aging outer self that is fading away, but she lights up when conversation is about those unseen realities, about You. She is a blessing to all who know her even though she seldom realizes it because her focus is not usually on herself but on You. She sets for me an example of what it means to grow old and remain faithful in my love for You.

Today’s thankful list . . .

- this and other friends who show me how to live for Christ.

- dying is not the end of life but a transition to endless life.

- the Holy Spirit who helps me keep my focus on what I cannot see.

- enough tomatoes from our single plant to make a big bowl of tomato soup.

- the smell of gingersnaps as they come out of the oven.

- the ability to sleep whenever I need a nap.