Getting older? Or Getting better?

How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man. A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. (Proverbs 6:9–15)

This is a discouraging passage for a person who has always been industrious and is now aging and wants to nap more than be busy. But there is a difference between the sluggard and the octogenarian. The older person is tired, not lazy, still wants to be doing things, is not trying to trick others into doing everything for him.

Yet those sluggard ideas pop up. My old nature would shirk responsibilities and complain about the work anyone else did for me. I’d never be satisfied and never take on hard challenges.

It is a challenging season. I had an older friend who used to say, “I don’t know how to be ninety.” At the time, I didn’t understand, but now realize the conflict. My body and my mind do not agree with each other. Had I been a sluggard all my life, this would not be an issue. 

New friends are helpful. One of my neighbors is ninety and going strong. Her mind is sharp and she is busy with family and happy all the time. It is possible to know how to be ninety. I’m not there yet, but should the Lord grant me that many birthdays, He has already given me a few role-models, but most of all, Himself:

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:1–8)

This is such a far cry from being a sluggard who stirs up trouble and cares for no one but herself. 

Lord Jesus, it is okay to have a nap, but not to avoid responsibilities. Sleep is okay for those who are tired from labor. You bless those who think good thoughts, and who are not always stirring up trouble. Your goal for me is even better than being “a sweet little old lady” — You want me to be to be like You.

Older but not helpless

Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. For your name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great. . . . Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. (Psalm 25:8–18) 

Last week a friend and I discussed the perils of getting older. We agreed that we do not appreciate any assumptions that we are helpless by those who do it and take over our chores or help without asked if we need help. It isn’t so much about pride in what we can do. We just do not want to be pushed into being helpless when God has blessed us with the ability to do things… such as stepping off a curb without falling, or making supper without burning it, or getting up off a chair without some giving us a hand up. My friend had a few more examples and remarked, “I’m not there yet.”

I recall my aging mother struggling with being helped. Her story is a bit different. She is a ‘server’ and always felt she should help others. However, she had a form of dementia that robbed her of being able to help herself, never mind others. When I told her she could help them by letting them help her, she agreed and was okay with that.

I am not much of a server and love help with what I cannot do. My hubby takes care of making our king-sized bed. He vacuums the floors and moves heavy things. He also helps in the kitchen by reaching the tall shelves and cleaning areas I cannot reach.

Some say God helps those who help themselves. Not according to Psalm 25 which says He helps those who are humble and obedient. He forgives our sin. He is gracious to those who are lonely and afflicted, distressed of heart and in trouble.

Maybe I need to take my own advice. Perhaps those who ‘assume’ I need help are servers who feel they must help others and I (and my gray hair) just happen to be handy. By letting them help me, I am helping them use their gifts, even if it makes me feel I am being put out to pasture. The psalmist understood this:

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. For my enemies speak concerning me; those who watch for my life consult together and say, “God has forsaken him; pursue and seize him, for there is none to deliver him.” O God, be not far from me; O my God, make haste to help me! (Psalm 71:9–12)
The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age… (Psalm 92:12–14)

The word “retirement” is not in the Bible. ‘Tired’ is — usually associated with sickness. God does not intend me to put up my feet and let others do what He tells me to do. It might be to encourage others, but it seems vital to note any personal pronouns in His commands.

Jesus, help me to be gracious to those who are unable to understand that helping sometimes means not helping. You obeyed the Father without passing the task to anyone else. I want to do the same.

Getting old and complaining?

 

It’s easy to find things to complain about. It’s too hot, or too cold. Why rain now? Look what that driver just did! That person never listens. The TV show is another re-run. My soup is too hot. On it goes… 

God is not pleased with grumbling. It dishonors Him, the one who promises all things work together for my good, and it flies in the face of my dear mother’s teaching that “we must need it or we wouldn’t be getting it.” And worse… 

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. (Philippians 2:14–15)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)

I could say I’m just getting old and old people with all our aches and pains are just crotchety, but that is not what God intends. I’m supposed to be more like Jesus, not more like ‘old people’ and that means practicing spiritual disciplines with even greater zeal than ever before. My devotional reading lists several things for my attention. One group comes from the psalmist:

In you, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame! . . . .  For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. Upon you I have leaned from before my birth; you are he who took me from my mother’s womb. My praise is continually of you. . . .  But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. . . .  O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. Your righteousness, O God, reaches the high heavens. You who have done great things, O God, who is like you? You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. . . .  I will also praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praises to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel. My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed. And my tongue will talk of your righteous help all the day long, for they have been put to shame and disappointed who sought to do me hurt. (Psalm 71:1–24)

Piper adds his thoughts and resolutions, but for me, I need to first confess, and do it quickly each time I find myself even mildly irritated. Has God ever failed me? Do I have any reason or right to be critical of anything He allows in my life? Has not the attitude of trusting Him been a refuge from even the most minor annoyances of life?

Speaking with Him is sometimes difficult for me (just as is speaking with other people) yet He provides words I can repeat, not like a parrot but saying them from my heart, like the above psalm… it can easily be a prayer of praise. I cannot praise God and complain at the same time, which I’m certain this psalmist had already discovered.

Piper writes of growing old and the idea of being in a nursing home. We live close to one, still in our own home but here deliberately so if we need care, it is close. I’ve visited people in facilities like this nearby one, but most of them are not like this one. The care level is optimal and when we go to that big building for the occasional meal or some activity, I notice that there are few, if any, “grumpy old people” in this place. They feel loved and it makes a difference. This is what the psalmist is getting at. He declares the love of God and His praise has an effect on his emotions and sense of well-being. 

PRAY: Jesus, with that, I must praise You. You have taken care of me for over fifty years since that day You came into my life and even before, from when I was born. I cannot complain. You even used the worst things to change my hard heart and give me better attitudes and deeper peace. You are utterly amazing — and yes, if something happens that I don’t like, I must remember that I need it or You would not allow it to happen, and remember Your promise: “Even to your old age I am He, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.” (Isaiah 46:4)

Too many birthdays?

My Dad used to explain his mental and physical problems with “I’ve had too many birthdays.” He was 90 when he died. Now at my age I sometimes say the same thing, particularly as I read challenges such as “Do you have zeal for a worthy cause? Is there some good for which you are being slandered? Or is your routine so harmless in this evil world that it fits nicely with the way things are going, and so nobody is asking you anything?”

Yes, I know that Moses didn’t get started until he was 80 and that God can renew the strength of those who wait on Him…

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28–31)

The Bible says He can. My faith says He can. Yet this is not gold-stamped with a seal to make it certain. Many days I feel faint and without strength, asking for renewal. Over my desk is a painting of eagles with a reference:

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (Psalm 103:1–5)

Because I appear to be younger, expectations from others are higher than the way I feel. I don’t want ‘renewed youth’ to meet those expectations, but I do want to have what is needed to do what God asks of me, even on those days when it feels like I’ve had way too many birthdays.

Others verses echo the cries of those with white hair and bodies that no longer cooperate with ambition, or even wipe it out:

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. (Psalm 71:9)
O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. Your righteousness, O God, reaches the high heavens. You who have done great things, O God, who is like you? (Psalm 71:17–19)
The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him. (Psalm 92:12–15)

The Bible shows that the average lifespan in OT times was less than my age now. We live in a country whose average now is lower than my age also. How true what Moses wrote:

For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh. The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. (Psalm 90:9–10)

And how true what my hubby often says; we are all terminal. A friend told us of his sister’s death last week. She was getting ready to go somewhere with her spouse, and put on one shoe, then left this earth. Some die violently, or because of a painful illness, or an accident. We don’t get to choose (despite efforts to make it lawful) but even so, it still happens. Best option:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

PRAY: Jesus, no matter my age, afternoon fatigue, or all other ‘symptoms’ of being old, eternal life began the moment You called me into a personal relationship with You, a relationship that changed my life here and my destiny when this life is over. This love affair with You makes such a difference in the way I look at too many birthdays!

Tired on Tuesday. . . .

After a good day of worship and rest, Monday usually is a day of energy and accomplishment. Yesterday was like that, but then there is Tuesday, often a day of being sleepy and wanting to nap all day. I need this reminder:

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28–31)

This is a favorite passage, even before the years multiplied and I’m now a wobbly part of the generation now dubbed the “Silent Generation” born between 1925 and 1945. While seldom silent, I am often feeling without might, weary and exhausted. It reminds me that the Lord is here for me, even in my fatigue. He will renew my energy when renewal is needed.

God does not get tired. He does not have the limitations that I have, or even those weaknesses that sometimes hit young people as they try to run on empty. This era of being too busy has gripped us, particularly because technology and modern life are filled with so many opportunities that making a decision about what to do next, or what to do period, becomes a confusing and long list.

What is it about aging that adds to that? I once was able to do the physical chores in our home and in the yard, work at hobbies and interests, spend time with friends, do the shopping, and stay up late — all on the same day. Not anymore. Slow and steady? Sometimes only on Mondays. When I pray using this passage, soaring like an eagle isn’t part of what I would like. I’m content when the Lord renews my attitude, keeps me focused, and gives me the energy needed for the necessary tasks — and for the interruptions.

These verses also remind me that Jesus experienced all of this in Gethsemane. He bore the burden of all sin, a weight that is beyond my imagination. He sweat blood as He bowed before His Father and said, “Not my will but Thine be done.” When His physical and mental anguish come to mind, I’m ashamed of my pity-parties and complaints. And then I realize afresh that He, this suffering Savior, also promises sufficient grace every day. He gives me all the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical energy I’ll need to live out whatever He asks of me, like Monday, like Tuesday, like every day. I may feel depleted, but He asks no more than whatever He plans for me and will supply whatever is needed to do it.

PRAY: Jesus, You embraced the ultimate weakness and weariness of the cross. Your love bore all my burdens. I get weary yet You supply all my needs according to Your riches and Your great love. I can thrive in that love and nothing can separate me from it or You. Grant me all I need this frosty Tuesday. Amen.

Being merciful

 

One good thing about aging is realizing that I cannot do many things that once were easy for me. Why is this good? I causes me to depend more and more on God’s help. Last week, a friend complained about age-related weakness and I said, “Think of it this way. Instead of being a weakness, you are becoming more mature in faith. It is the weak and helpless that God blesses the most.”

This popped out without forethought and came to mind this morning when I read this verse and the note I’d written under it: “Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; our God is merciful.” (Psalm 116:5) The note said, ‘Mercy is doing for others what they cannot do for themselves.’

Today’s devotional says showing mercy is a sign of being a Christian. This verse tells me that I’m to be like God in that I do for others what they cannot do for themselves:

So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:12–13)

These ideas are all connected. Aging gives me a sense of what others experience. I’m far more aware of the trials of life and the pitfalls, the sad times and the struggles. Age gives understanding into the human dilemma and into the battles we fight against sin. I’ve been through times of winning and times of losing. I know what it is like to be unable, to have much that I cannot do for myself. Showing mercy is more meaningful because I’ve needed it myself and God has shown it to me.

God’s “law of liberty” is the Gospel. It has set me free from the law of sin and death, something I could never do for myself either.

For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. (Romans 8:2–4)

God’s mercy to me is the reason and the foundation for me showing mercy to others. Even if other people do not realize that they cannot save themselves, I know the power and deceitfulness of sin. I didn’t understand it for many years, but now that I am older and God has shown me how helpless I am to fight sin, I have a greater distaste for it. I know what sin can do to a life and I don’t want others to remain it its clutches. Because of that knowledge and experience, showing mercy is an imperative. Sometimes it is the key to unlocking the door to release others from the prison of sin.

PRAY: Lord Jesus, there are people all around me in need of mercy. I realize that some of them are unaware of their need. Sin blinds the mind to the reality of it and to our helplessness to fight it. I also now see my own helplessness with greater appreciation for it. Without Your Spirit and Your wisdom, I’ve no idea what needs to be done to set people free from that law of sin and death. I just know that mercy is part of it, a large part. Otherwise, sinners face judgment without mercy. Today, grant me grace to be merciful. I’ve no idea what the day may bring, but without Your mercy and grace, I will be helpless to deal with any of it. Bless me so I can bless others.

PONDER: Read Luke 10:25-37. What does it tell me about mercy? What can interfere with being merciful?