Too many birthdays?

My Dad used to explain his mental and physical problems with “I’ve had too many birthdays.” He was 90 when he died. Now at my age I sometimes say the same thing, particularly as I read challenges such as “Do you have zeal for a worthy cause? Is there some good for which you are being slandered? Or is your routine so harmless in this evil world that it fits nicely with the way things are going, and so nobody is asking you anything?”

Yes, I know that Moses didn’t get started until he was 80 and that God can renew the strength of those who wait on Him…

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28–31)

The Bible says He can. My faith says He can. Yet this is not gold-stamped with a seal to make it certain. Many days I feel faint and without strength, asking for renewal. Over my desk is a painting of eagles with a reference:

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (Psalm 103:1–5)

Because I appear to be younger, expectations from others are higher than the way I feel. I don’t want ‘renewed youth’ to meet those expectations, but I do want to have what is needed to do what God asks of me, even on those days when it feels like I’ve had way too many birthdays.

Others verses echo the cries of those with white hair and bodies that no longer cooperate with ambition, or even wipe it out:

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. (Psalm 71:9)
O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. Your righteousness, O God, reaches the high heavens. You who have done great things, O God, who is like you? (Psalm 71:17–19)
The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him. (Psalm 92:12–15)

The Bible shows that the average lifespan in OT times was less than my age now. We live in a country whose average now is lower than my age also. How true what Moses wrote:

For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh. The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. (Psalm 90:9–10)

And how true what my hubby often says; we are all terminal. A friend told us of his sister’s death last week. She was getting ready to go somewhere with her spouse, and put on one shoe, then left this earth. Some die violently, or because of a painful illness, or an accident. We don’t get to choose (despite efforts to make it lawful) but even so, it still happens. Best option:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

PRAY: Jesus, no matter my age, afternoon fatigue, or all other ‘symptoms’ of being old, eternal life began the moment You called me into a personal relationship with You, a relationship that changed my life here and my destiny when this life is over. This love affair with You makes such a difference in the way I look at too many birthdays!

Tired on Tuesday. . . .

After a good day of worship and rest, Monday usually is a day of energy and accomplishment. Yesterday was like that, but then there is Tuesday, often a day of being sleepy and wanting to nap all day. I need this reminder:

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28–31)

This is a favorite passage, even before the years multiplied and I’m now a wobbly part of the generation now dubbed the “Silent Generation” born between 1925 and 1945. While seldom silent, I am often feeling without might, weary and exhausted. It reminds me that the Lord is here for me, even in my fatigue. He will renew my energy when renewal is needed.

God does not get tired. He does not have the limitations that I have, or even those weaknesses that sometimes hit young people as they try to run on empty. This era of being too busy has gripped us, particularly because technology and modern life are filled with so many opportunities that making a decision about what to do next, or what to do period, becomes a confusing and long list.

What is it about aging that adds to that? I once was able to do the physical chores in our home and in the yard, work at hobbies and interests, spend time with friends, do the shopping, and stay up late — all on the same day. Not anymore. Slow and steady? Sometimes only on Mondays. When I pray using this passage, soaring like an eagle isn’t part of what I would like. I’m content when the Lord renews my attitude, keeps me focused, and gives me the energy needed for the necessary tasks — and for the interruptions.

These verses also remind me that Jesus experienced all of this in Gethsemane. He bore the burden of all sin, a weight that is beyond my imagination. He sweat blood as He bowed before His Father and said, “Not my will but Thine be done.” When His physical and mental anguish come to mind, I’m ashamed of my pity-parties and complaints. And then I realize afresh that He, this suffering Savior, also promises sufficient grace every day. He gives me all the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical energy I’ll need to live out whatever He asks of me, like Monday, like Tuesday, like every day. I may feel depleted, but He asks no more than whatever He plans for me and will supply whatever is needed to do it.

PRAY: Jesus, You embraced the ultimate weakness and weariness of the cross. Your love bore all my burdens. I get weary yet You supply all my needs according to Your riches and Your great love. I can thrive in that love and nothing can separate me from it or You. Grant me all I need this frosty Tuesday. Amen.

Eagles or Horses?

Writers love using familiar events or illustrations from nature, science and other human experiences to illustrate spiritual truths. The Lord is my Shepherd is a familiar one. Some verses liken the care of God to a mother hen spreading her wings over her chicks. Today’s devotional uses horses and eagles.

I have both positive and negative memories for both. My horses were my best friends, but one of them took a notion to run under a tree. My head hit a hefty branch and I lost my memory for a time. Another stepped in a badger hole and both of us went head over heels.
As for eagles, my best memory is seeing one in Alaska being harassed by a crow. Finally the eagle convulsed as if hurt, but it wasn’t. It had tightened its talons and the crow dropped from the sky.

Today’s devotionals cites two passages. One is about eagles…

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28–31)

This powerful bird illustrates the strength God gives to those who wait for the Lord rather than moving forward without His guidance or strength. Like an eagle, we rise above our fatigue and the feeling of being weak and unable.

The other passage is about horses…

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” But you were unwilling, and you said, “No! We will flee upon horses”; therefore you shall flee away; and, “We will ride upon swift steeds”; therefore your pursuers shall be swift. A thousand shall flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you shall flee, till you are left like a flagstaff on the top of a mountain, like a signal on a hill. (Isaiah 30:15–17)

Instead of waiting, if I pick something else that I think will accomplish the task at hand, I will find that I cannot escape the problem. These word pictures not only spell out the folly of taking matters into my own hands, but that God can use me as an example for others to show them what not to do — like a flag or a signal on a hill.

Another passage comes to mind...

Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help and rely on horses, who trust in chariots because they are many and in horsemen because they are very strong, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel or consult the Lord! And yet he is wise and brings disaster; he does not call back his words, but will arise against the house of the evildoers and against the helpers of those who work iniquity. The Egyptians are man, and not God, and their horses are flesh, and not spirit. When the Lord stretches out his hand, the helper will stumble, and he who is helped will fall, and they will all perish together. (Isaiah 31:1–3)

Egypt points to bondage and the power of sin to enslave. If I trust the things of my old life that appear to be powerful and fail to consult the Lord, I’m relying on flesh rather than Spirit. Another prophet warns: “Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord.” (Jeremiah 17:5)

The NT states this clearly:

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. (Romans 8:5–8)

PRAY: Thankfully, the next verse says, “You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.” (Romans 8:9–10) Jesus, I rejoice in the new life and in Your gift of being able to soar like an eagle and see the trials of life fall beneath me and into Your hands. Thank You so much.

Do not grow weary in doing good…

Can I blame age for my lack of ambition? The body isn’t as strong now so that is a good excuse for those activities that require physical strength. I’d rather nap than exercise, watch a game on television than do the dishes, wear wrinkled clothes than iron them. Many times during the day I find myself doing chores out of sheer will power than any desire. Most of the time, once I get started it isn’t as challenging as my thoughts made it.

This stage, if it is a stage, is new for me. I’ve always been an eager worker. One summer I dug a hillside beside our house and made it a series of steps. This was hard physical work and turned out well. I’ve made king-size quilts and now view that similar to constructing a four-man tent. This decline in ambition bothers me, not the aging part but the attitude of resentment toward doing what needs to be done, or should be done.

It hits spiritual responsibilities too. No one person can do all that the Bible calls Christians to do, but I’m often shirking even those things that God puts on my plate. I’m too tired or I have easier tasks and put the more important at the bottom of the list.

A few principles come to mind. One is when Moses led a battle. His army won as long as he held up his hands…

But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. (Exodus 17:12)

When his hands dropped, the army started to lose, but as others supported their leader, they won the battle. This says much about the importance of Christian fellowship and the need to be supported. Don’t be a loner, and I tend to like be alone, but this is not always the best choice.

In another OT narrative, David was being attacked by his son. The son’s advisor said…

I will come upon him while he is weary and discouraged and throw him into a panic, and all the people who are with him will flee. I will strike down only the king, (2 Samuel 17:2)

This is a spiritual warfare principle: the enemy goes after God’s people when we get weary and discouraged. Sometimes more sleep is the issue, yet in this story God sent another advisor with a different plan that sounded good but led to David’s victory.

I need to be alert. Fatigue and feeling discouraged is to be vulnerable, yet the answer is not always in being rested — it is in trusting God to get me where I need to be and with the energy I need to have, just as the psalmist did:

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. (Psalm 63:1)

One friend says the next verses are about spiritual weariness, not physical, yet it seems to me they are partners that require the same solution:

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28–31)

God also says: “I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.” (Jeremiah 31:25) and “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9) and “Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.” (Hebrews 12:3)

PRAY: Jesus, forgive me for turning my mind toward how I feel instead of toward You. Your grace is sufficient. I may get tired, but You are enough and You always supply whatever I need for whatever You want me to be and do. Give me wisdom so I don’t try to do too much for me, but rely on You for whatever you put on my to-do list.

Two ways of self-care…

 

Caregivers need to also take care of themselves. Otherwise there is no energy or even no attitude to take care of someone else. I learned this when my parents lived with us for a year. I found a senior’s daycare where they could go five days a week. They enjoyed their outings and the visits they had with like-minded others. And I enjoyed the break from meeting their daily needs.

My wounded hubby is not as demanding, yet the anxiety I have about him means taking a break from thinking about his situation and his pain. I’m reading a Baldacci mystery, absorbing and being engaged in a complex plot is an escape. So is the 1000-piece puzzle on our dining room table, definitely the most difficult one so far. This puts my mind in ‘blank’ mode, almost. This morning I was praying, drinking tea, and talking to Jesus about our needs while putting pieces mostly in the wrong places.

Today’s devotional says there are always two attitudes of mind toward anything between which we may choose. One is on the flesh side of things; the other is on the spiritual, spoke of often in the NT:

So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. (Romans 6:11)

Paul goes on to explain the importance of making that choice:

Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. (Romans 6:13–14)

I tried that during puzzle solving. I know this is a form of mental escape and also that this is not something Jesus did. If He was tired, He slept. If He was pressured, He withdrew and prayed. Making the right choice and thinking the facts in these verses helped my attitude from sliding into a “poor me” and pulled it back to presenting myself to the Lord — to do whatever He required of me rather than trying to escape.

The devotion suggested to take no interest at all in the old nature and its desires. I need to say my self-centered choices and that old nature is dead, foreign and not of interest. Deny it and its demands. But does that negate self-care? Likely not, for the Bible also says:

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28–31)

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28–30)

God’s rest is not a mystery or a puzzle to be solved. It is an answer to prayer, a restoration for those who wait on Him, drawing closer and choosing His way rather than the way of the flesh.

His rest is a bit of a mystery though. When I come to Him and pray about everything…

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)

…His peace does not make sense when life is not offering much peace, but when waiting on Him, and coming to Him, and praying about all things with a thankful heart, and doing His will by choice rather than trying my own efforts — His peace goes beyond making sense; it is just there no matter what might be happening.

PRAY: Lord Jesus, how persistent is my old nature to try and solve things. Forgive me AGAIN for being so self-ruled rather than yielded to You. I know these things and know that You and Your will are what this terribly slow-learner needs. Thank You for your amazing patience, and for Your remarkable peace that defies my rational mind as it sets it to rest.

Waiting is the hard part!

 

In a group of Christians I once asked what would be their first question for Jesus when they finally see Him. One person said, “Why did it take you so long to get through to me?”

I feel like that some days. It reveals a lack of patience. He saved me and is saving me, but I’m tired some days of the cycle of victory, then realizing more incompleteness in my transformation, then another win, then more conviction of sin. I want what is promised: “obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” (1 Peter 1:9) Like a child, sometimes it seems time is either ‘right now’ or ‘forever’ and I’d like the ‘right now’ instead of waiting.

Today’s devotional reading points to the future goal of what is going on every day:

For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. (1 Corinthians 1:18)

MacArthur writes: “You rejoice because you have and continue to hold on to the logical result of your proven faith—your ongoing deliverance from sin. ”

The battle is real. I know that I need ongoing deliverance because sin is an ongoing problem. Fifty years or so ago, I was given new life in Christ and made a new creation by Him. I am no longer a slave to the penalty and power of sin; but I am certainly not yet fully glorified and still subject to sin’s influence. I can relate to Paul’s description of the struggle between the flesh and the spirit:

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? (Romans 7:19–24)

There are days when I can say with him: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin” (Romans 7:25) yet there are days when that deliverance seems impossible. It is something like a roller-coaster ride when the ups and downs never end and the ‘right now’ is too strong to let me even think about the end of the ride that is certain to come. No light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.

PRAY: Lord Jesus, I know You are my Savior and You are the Great Deliverer. It is only through You that I have victory over sin, death, and eternal judgment. I’ve not stopped loving and trusting You yet some days am just tired of the ups and downs. Is this is why Your word says:

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28–31)

I need to wait on You, even if it seems too much for my energy levels to simply hope for Your help and trust that You will renew me again. Normal fatigue is okay, but spiritual fatigue is not.

PONDER: Waiting is the hard part but if I am waiting for myself to be perfect, or waiting for answers to long-prayed prayers, that could be a long wait. Instead, I need to be waiting on the LORD, enjoying Him rather than in experiencing anything else. He is always with me, even in these times when patience seems a foreign language.