Older but not helpless

Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. For your name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great. . . . Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. (Psalm 25:8–18) 

Last week a friend and I discussed the perils of getting older. We agreed that we do not appreciate any assumptions that we are helpless by those who do it and take over our chores or help without asked if we need help. It isn’t so much about pride in what we can do. We just do not want to be pushed into being helpless when God has blessed us with the ability to do things… such as stepping off a curb without falling, or making supper without burning it, or getting up off a chair without some giving us a hand up. My friend had a few more examples and remarked, “I’m not there yet.”

I recall my aging mother struggling with being helped. Her story is a bit different. She is a ‘server’ and always felt she should help others. However, she had a form of dementia that robbed her of being able to help herself, never mind others. When I told her she could help them by letting them help her, she agreed and was okay with that.

I am not much of a server and love help with what I cannot do. My hubby takes care of making our king-sized bed. He vacuums the floors and moves heavy things. He also helps in the kitchen by reaching the tall shelves and cleaning areas I cannot reach.

Some say God helps those who help themselves. Not according to Psalm 25 which says He helps those who are humble and obedient. He forgives our sin. He is gracious to those who are lonely and afflicted, distressed of heart and in trouble.

Maybe I need to take my own advice. Perhaps those who ‘assume’ I need help are servers who feel they must help others and I (and my gray hair) just happen to be handy. By letting them help me, I am helping them use their gifts, even if it makes me feel I am being put out to pasture. The psalmist understood this:

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. For my enemies speak concerning me; those who watch for my life consult together and say, “God has forsaken him; pursue and seize him, for there is none to deliver him.” O God, be not far from me; O my God, make haste to help me! (Psalm 71:9–12)
The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age… (Psalm 92:12–14)

The word “retirement” is not in the Bible. ‘Tired’ is — usually associated with sickness. God does not intend me to put up my feet and let others do what He tells me to do. It might be to encourage others, but it seems vital to note any personal pronouns in His commands.

Jesus, help me to be gracious to those who are unable to understand that helping sometimes means not helping. You obeyed the Father without passing the task to anyone else. I want to do the same.