God's Word on mixed marriages

After these things had been done, the officials approached me (Ezra) and said, “The people of Israel and the priests and the Levites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands with their abominations, from the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites. For they have taken some of their daughters to be wives for themselves and for their sons, so that the holy race has mixed itself with the peoples of the lands. And in this faithlessness the hand of the officials and chief men has been foremost.” (Ezra 9:1-2)

As soon as Ezra heard this, he was deeply appalled as were all who were faithful to God's Word. They confessed their guilt and were ashamed because God had told them “The land that you are entering, to take possession of it, is a land impure with the impurity of the peoples of the lands, with their abominations that have filled it from end to end with their uncleanness. Therefore do not give your daughters to their sons, neither take their daughters for your sons, and never seek their peace or prosperity, that you may be strong and eat the good of the land and leave it for an inheritance to your children forever.”

Intermarriage may not seem an important issue these days, but I have noticed several couples where the man is a Christian and the wife is not. Some men confess that they will do anything to avoid conflict with their wife, thus they stop going to church and soon live according to her value system rather than following Jesus. It seems easier for a Christian wife to influence her unbelieving spouse than the other way around. (See 1 Peter 3:1-7)

Perhaps this is a reflection of what happened in Eden when Eve was able to influence Adam to eat the forbidden fruit with her. In any case, God backed up the danger of marrying someone without faith.

Ezra took this very seriously and made a serious decisions: “We have broken faith with our God and have married foreign women from the peoples of the land, but even now there is hope for Israel in spite of this. Therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all these wives and their children, according to the counsel of my lord and of those who tremble at the commandment of our God, and let it be done according to the Law. Arise, for it is your task, and we are with you; be strong and do it.” 

He made the leading priests and Levites and all Israel take an oath that they would do as had been said. So they took the oath and he withdrew from the house of God and did not eat or drink while in mourning over the faithlessness of the exiles. 

Then a proclamation was made throughout Judah and Jerusalem to all the returned exiles that they should assemble at Jerusalem, and that if anyone did not come within three days, by order of the officials and the elders all his property should be forfeited, and he himself banned from the congregation. 

All the men of Judah and Benjamin assembled at Jerusalem within the three days  and sat in the open square before the house of God, trembling because of this matter and because of the heavy rain. Ezra told them what to do and all but two men opposed it. The rest enumerated those guilty and did as told. (Ezra 9:1–10:17)

In the NT, this decision is overruled by grace and respect for the sanctity of marriage. Paul wrote:

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:12–16)

Living according to this requires complete reliance on the Lord rather than the usual “we are not compatible” choice that results in divorce. Human selfishness ruins many relationships. Obedience in the power of the Holy Spirit is the only way to bring the peace of God into the marriage.

Jesus, I am so grateful that You give the power to make a difference in a relationship so that two opposites can agree on faith matters plus many other issues. I’m thankful for Your grace that takes me from “I want my own way” to wanting Your way and discovering it is the only way that brings peace and harmony!