Older but not helpless

Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. For your name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great. . . . Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. (Psalm 25:8–18) 

Last week a friend and I discussed the perils of getting older. We agreed that we do not appreciate any assumptions that we are helpless by those who do it and take over our chores or help without asked if we need help. It isn’t so much about pride in what we can do. We just do not want to be pushed into being helpless when God has blessed us with the ability to do things… such as stepping off a curb without falling, or making supper without burning it, or getting up off a chair without some giving us a hand up. My friend had a few more examples and remarked, “I’m not there yet.”

I recall my aging mother struggling with being helped. Her story is a bit different. She is a ‘server’ and always felt she should help others. However, she had a form of dementia that robbed her of being able to help herself, never mind others. When I told her she could help them by letting them help her, she agreed and was okay with that.

I am not much of a server and love help with what I cannot do. My hubby takes care of making our king-sized bed. He vacuums the floors and moves heavy things. He also helps in the kitchen by reaching the tall shelves and cleaning areas I cannot reach.

Some say God helps those who help themselves. Not according to Psalm 25 which says He helps those who are humble and obedient. He forgives our sin. He is gracious to those who are lonely and afflicted, distressed of heart and in trouble.

Maybe I need to take my own advice. Perhaps those who ‘assume’ I need help are servers who feel they must help others and I (and my gray hair) just happen to be handy. By letting them help me, I am helping them use their gifts, even if it makes me feel I am being put out to pasture. The psalmist understood this:

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. For my enemies speak concerning me; those who watch for my life consult together and say, “God has forsaken him; pursue and seize him, for there is none to deliver him.” O God, be not far from me; O my God, make haste to help me! (Psalm 71:9–12)
The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age… (Psalm 92:12–14)

The word “retirement” is not in the Bible. ‘Tired’ is — usually associated with sickness. God does not intend me to put up my feet and let others do what He tells me to do. It might be to encourage others, but it seems vital to note any personal pronouns in His commands.

Jesus, help me to be gracious to those who are unable to understand that helping sometimes means not helping. You obeyed the Father without passing the task to anyone else. I want to do the same.

Feeling Useless?

Sometimes I feel so useless. Is this relative to the strong work ethic of my up-bringing? My dad seldom got on my case for being idle, but he did say much about the neighbors who were ‘lazy’ or unproductive. I’ve felt that if I wasn’t doing something useful, then I was useless.

However, God has changed my thinking, which is part of being a Christian. (See Romans 12:2) Feeling useless is akin to helplessness, to being needy. Those feelings should lead me to greater dependence on the Lord. Relying on myself will never produce a sense of usefulness in the same way that relying on God does. Doing things that I plan and implement in my own strength is useless compared to doing the will of God according to His plan and by the power of the Holy Spirit. Even Jesus Christ needed to be filled with the Holy Spirit . . .

So Peter opened his mouth and said: “Truly I understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him. As for the word that he sent to Israel, preaching good news of peace through Jesus Christ (he is Lord of all), you yourselves know what happened throughout all Judea, beginning from Galilee after the baptism that John proclaimed: how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power. He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him. And we are witnesses of all that he did both in the country of the Jews and in Jerusalem. They put him to death by hanging him on a tree, but God raised him on the third day and made him to appear, not to all the people but to us who had been chosen by God as witnesses, who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. And he commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that he is the one appointed by God to be judge of the living and the dead. To him all the prophets bear witness that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” (Acts 10:34–43)

The phrase that instructs me is in italics: “God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power. He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him.”

A careful reading of the Gospels shows that this was true for all that Jesus did. He was fully human and fully God, fully exemplified what it means to depend on the power of the Holy Spirit by laying aside His power as God and living like one of us . . .

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:5–8)

Feeling useless can be a pride thing, a desire to be important or valuable, but it can also be the threshold to humility, to realizing that I am nothing on my own and I need God’s strength. If Jesus Christ did all that He did in the power of the Holy Spirit, how could I suppose I’m able to do anything in my own power? Feeling unable should be the norm and feeling useless needs to point me in that direction. As Tozer says, some Christians accomplish very little for God — we need to be filled with His Spirit to be busily and fruitfully doing His will.

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Jesus, today I feel ‘useless’ because of my health issues, but You reminded me yesterday afternoon that it is in weakness that Your strength is perfected. May this sense of being unable cause me to rely on You more and more. I know that with Your grace and power, I can do whatever You want me to do — and that is enough.

A wasted life?

Last night I was in good spirits, but as I dropped off to sleep, thoughts about uselessness bounced around inside my head. I thought that I’ve not accomplished much for the Lord. Too drowsy to argue or defend myself, I fell asleep. This morning, those thoughts came back. 
 

How often have I been silent when I should have said something? How often have a babbled and wasted my words when I should have been quiet and listened? Who can add up these things? I answered them with “it’s up to the Lord” and “how can I really know?” 

Then I started reading Ezekiel and noted God’s commands to the prophet. First He said that if Ezekiel didn’t warn both sinners and the righteous and either died in their sin, their blood would be on his hands. I felt tensions coming back. Then He said that He would not allow him to speak to some and that unless God opened his mouth, Ezekiel would not be able to speak. I’d not noticed that before. Then, while those thoughts were still fresh, my devotions directed me to this passage. Jesus is teaching people by the seaside…

Getting into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, he asked him to put out a little from the land. And he sat down and taught the people from the boat. And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking. They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” (Luke 5:3–8)

At once, I thought that toil without Jesus is a night-long waste of time, but if He says to go and do it, or keep doing it, there will be results, far more than His disciples can even imagine or deal with.

After that huge fishing success, Peter realized and admitted his sinfulness, but the Bible does not offer anything specific. He may have been convicted of doing things without Jesus. He may also have had his priorities wrong. Whatever prompted this confession, he confessed it to the right person. Almost immediately, Jesus called him into a fruitful and world-changing ministry.

The key words in this passage are, “at thy word I will…” When Jesus asks, no matter what the command might be, there will be fruit. In this instance, Peter saw the results and labored to haul it aboard. Yet how many thousands, even millions have jumped into the net because of Peter? He wrote two epistles that are life-changing for those who read, believe and obey. Even the record of Peter’s life has had an impact on generations. 

Courage comes when we read of Peter walking on water or Peter preaching and teaching. 

His mistakes also affect us. He denied the Lord when the going got tough and often had his foot in his mouth. Once he fought with the Apostle Paul, yet even if the mistakes comfort me when I make them too, it is what he did after making them that spurs us on to do the same. Peter loved Jesus and, hit or miss, was determined to follow Him. 

The idea of a wasted and useless life could turn my heart inward and downward for the rest of my days, but the Word of the Lord comes again to instruct me. The Apostle Paul answered this threat to his usefulness with…

But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. (1 Corinthians 4:3)

In the next few lines, he adds this:

Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God. (1 Corinthians 4:5)

Someday everyone will know that which is now hidden, including what God did with our lives. We will also know those times we acted from spontaneous grace without even thinking why we did it. God will reveal the blessings we didn’t notice and the goodness that came from our small kindnesses and other responses to His Word. AND each person who said “at thy Word I will” will be commended.

Instead of trying to figure it out, or lamenting that I missed the boat so very often, I think I’ll try to obey all the time, and wait and see what He has to say about what is actually in my net, whether I can see it or not.

A fishing secret

Years ago I heard a sermon that was word for word the message I’d previously heard, but given by another pastor. The first version affected lives; the second was without power, and even irritating.

Perhaps the second speaker obtained permission from the first to use his words. Perhaps it had been plagiarism.  Either way, something was missing. Today’s devotional reading seems a likely explanation. 

And when (Jesus) had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking. (Luke 5:4–6)

First of all, God can do whatever He wants to do without any human help, yet He has chosen to do His work with our hands. The catch of fish was miraculous, yet God included the fisherman, his boat and his fishing tackle. He chose to use human instruments to do His work.

It is the same with saving souls. No one is saved apart from the work of God through the Holy Spirit, yet God is pleased to use the foolishness of preaching to reach lost sinners. No doubt He would be glorified if He did this apart from any human voice, but by using people, He is magnified.

This is easier to see by a simple comparison. The fishermen “toiled all the night and have taken nothing.” Why not? They were doing what they knew best. They had skill at fishing and worked hard, even all night. There were fish in those waters, but no fish in their nets.

Then Jesus came. The Bible says, “Without Him, you can do nothing” and “With Christ, we can do all things” (John 15: 4-5 & Philippians 4:13). The presence and power of Christ ensures success. Jesus sat in Peter’s boat, and by His will and mysterious influence, fish came into the net.

It is this way in evangelism and all Christian work. When Jesus is lifted up, His presence is our power. If He is left out by our choice or indifference, we can expect empty nets. We can work hard and do our best, even use words that have already proven to be good words, but without the power of Jesus, we are nothing and can do nothing. Only in Christ can I bear fruit and be an instrument in His hands.

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Lord, if You give me a nudge or a big push to do something for You, I need to be obedient, but I also need to be filled with Your Spirit. I don’t understand why You decided to do Your work on earth through us. We are sinners, forgiven, but so weak and flawed. How amazing and how wonderfully gracious that You include us in what Your are doing. Thank You for making me, an earthen vessel, Your dwelling place and sometimes Your center of operations.

Becoming an effective Christian

Sometimes I wonder if what I do as a Christian makes any difference. Am I effective? Do the attitudes and actions of my life glorify God? Spurgeon challenges and blesses by pointing me to these verses.

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1:5–8)

From this passage, I clearly understand that if I want my life to make a difference, then I must “make every effort” or as the old King James version says, “give diligence” to some spiritual disciplines.

While this passage says it is up to me to add to my faith, I know that spiritual disciplines are merely “places of grace.” That is, God does the addition if I will put myself in position to receive His grace. I will grow in these qualities if I pay attention to what God wants from me, and obey what I already know.

First, I’m to make sure that my faith is the right kind. Faith is not just believing the right teachings (doctrine), but it is depending on Christ, and on Christ alone, for everything. I cannot even trust God without His help, never mind obey God and add these things to my life. Jesus is my Savior; I am not.

I am to make every effort to add virtue and goodness, saying no to sin and yes to God. I am to study the Bible and from it get knowledge. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly . . .” (Colossians 3:16), but also obeying what God teaches me. “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” (James 1:22)

Self-control is included in this recipe for effectiveness. If my life is to mean anything for God, than I need to “take heed to thy body: be temperate without. Take heed to thy soul: be temperate within. Get temperance of lip, life, heart, and thought.” Spurgeon’s words may sound old fashion, but he is right. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life.”

After that comes steadfastness. This is patient, consistent endurance. It is keeping on, no matter what. God asks me to choose to be a godly person in the face of all trials, temptations, hurts, and disappointments. I am not to complain or be depressed by adversity. This is an incredible challenge and I needed to hear it today. Spurgeon says that when this grace is won, then when I am tested, I “shall come forth as gold.”

The next virtue is godliness, which is more than being pious or religious. It is making God’s glory my goal. It is living continually in the sense of His presence, having uninterrupted fellowship with Him. While this is incredibly appealing, it comes with a price. Only those who feel weak and helpless can continually abide in close fellowship with the Lord. Our tendency to do things ourselves quickly spoils this total dependance on Him.

The above passage says at the end to add brotherly affection and love. These are two different words. Brotherly affection is a love for those we care about, particularly my brothers and sisters in Christ. While this has occasional challenges, it is easier to obey than that other word for love.

Love (charity in the KJV) is from “agape” a unique term. It describes a self-sacrificing love that does what is best for others, with or without any feelings of affection. It is the love of God that was proved in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for my sin. It didn’t depend on me, for “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). This is how He wants me to love others, with affection certainly, but also whether or not I feel like it. My love is to be like His love, totally unconditional.

The bottom line is that if I have these qualities and they are increasing in me, they will prevent me from being ineffective and unfruitful. Interesting wording. The effectiveness still depends on God. That is, I can be all this and effectiveness is not automatic. However, if these things are absent, then I cannot expect to be effective for they open the way for God to use me.

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Lord, again You give me what I need to hear. I must work on the steadfast part, keeping on no matter what. You ask that I be a godly person even when others throw rocks at me or in front of me. I can bring the hurts to You but not let them be an excuse to stop pressing on. Instead, I’m to let these things test and develop my ability to be patient and to endure.

To Live is Christ — forsake uselessness, but keep busy

After the basics of food, shelter and so on, most people want to have a meaningful life. For me that means being useful. As a Christian, one thing I dread is God putting me on a shelf and not giving me anything to do. It does not matter that the world offers more options than anyone can count. What matters to me is that God includes me in His work.

One reason that I feel that way is that He has shown me that most of life’s activities have little influence on anything important, and no eternal value. The older I get, the less I want to spin my wheels with things that do not matter. However, deciding what things do matter can be a challenge. Peter offers this:

Behave like obedient children. Don’t let your lives be controlled by your desires, as they used to be. Always live as God’s holy people should, because God is the one who chose you, and he is holy. That’s why the Scriptures say, “I am the holy God, and you must be holy too.” You say that God is your Father, but God doesn’t have favorites! He judges all people by what they do. So you must honor God while you live as strangers here on earth. You were rescued from the useless way of life that you learned from your ancestors. But you know that you were not rescued by such things as silver or gold that don’t last forever. You were rescued by the precious blood of Christ, that spotless and innocent lamb. (1 Peter 1:14–19, CEV)

The first clue in deciding what is useful is that uselessness and sinful desires are partners. Christ died for the sinful things that I do. If I continue in them, I am adding to the list of what crucified Him. I’m also chalking up a lot of nothing for eternity. Because His blood takes away sin, sin will not enter eternity with me. It is useless. That means obedience is useful.

Peter also says that the life I learned from my human ancestors is also useless, at least all that I was taught that is not biblical has no eternal value. My parents gave me a good work ethic, yet hard work on the wrong projects for the wrong reasons does not have any lasting value. God encourages me to be diligent and steadfast in obedience, yet those traits are to be applied to the things He asks me to do, not just anything. Otherwise, what I do will be useless.

Third, Peter says that silver and gold do not last forever. Everyone knows that, even the people who die with their money stuffed in their casket. I cannot take money and stuff with me. My observation is that most people live as if they can. For so many, money and the desire for material gain is a huge motivation for countless useless activities, although money in itself is not evil. Paul wrote to Timothy:

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. (1 Timothy 6:6–10)

If I put my focus on personal and financial gain, I am falling into that useless way of life from which Christ died to save me. Such motivations and actions are useless for eternity. It isn’t that poverty is useful but that I have an eternal perspective on material things. They will not last.

What then is useful? Peter says holiness and honoring God. Paul says godliness with contentment. Contentment seems passive, yet striving to live a holy life is far from it. Jesus was the holiest person to ever walk this earth, and although He became tired and slept, there is not much in the Bible about Him being idle.

Honoring God is also hard work. I’m continually battling my sinful desire to get honor for myself. Many don’t like it when God is honored so I also battle a desire to please people instead of giving God the glory that is due Him. Honoring God also means abandoning anything that dishonors Him.

In other words, even without any special assignments such as teaching a Bible class or taking care of a needy person or praying, or any other Holy Spirit-motivated task, if I erase the “useless” from my ledger and replace it with “godly living” there is no end of things to keep me busy.

Fitting like a glove

Christians know that God works using us, but we have a hard time explaining it. Today’s reading in God is Enough is about us trusting and God doing the work. The writer offers a question that some might ask: “In one breath you tell us to do nothing but trust, and in the next you tell us to do impossible things. How can you reconcile such contradictory statements?”

I’ve used a glove to illustrate the answer. God is the hand and I am the glove. I’m supposed to be pliable and willing to let Him work through me. People might see only the glove, but the motivating force behind what I’m doing is God. As I yield to Him, I could do amazing things.

The author of this devotional book uses a saw in a carpenter’s shop. People see it cutting wood and say, “Oh, that is a sharp saw; look how it easily slices that log.” Or they might say, “See how easily that carpenter cuts the log” depending on their perspective.

The Bible says, “Do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God” (Romans 6:13). In other words, don’t let any other hand govern the glove; don’t let any other carpenter wield the saw. I’m only the instrument and whatever I do, it must be because of the power of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Both these illustrations use inanimate objects. Maybe we unconsciously selected them because Jesus said, “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

A glove is useless without a hand. A saw only rusts if left to itself. However, God also knows that Christians can live without trusting Him, can act motivated by forces other than His Spirit. That is why He says we must not present ourselves as instruments of unrighteousness to sin or let sin rule our lives. The glove, the saw, belongs to Him.

As I yield myself and my abilities as instruments of righteousness to God, I will experience Him working in me to will and to do of His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). Whatever He asks of me may not be prominent by human standards, yet I will know His grace and mercy.

To be yielded to Him is my desire, and perhaps be able to say, with Paul, “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly . . . yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.” (1 Corinthians 15:10).

A Leap of Faith

January 16, 2008

A few years ago a young woman was taking care of several children while their mother and father were away. The family had a swimming pool in the back yard and it was a hot day, so all of them were in the pool and very much enjoying the water.

This was a Christian family in which the parents lovingly taught their children to obey them and the authorities in their lives. Had they not, this day would have brought horrendous disaster and sorrow.

As the children were swimming, the baby sitter noticed a small spark from a wire in an overhead power line. She called out to the children, “All of you! Out of the pool! At once!”

How many children would instantly stop their play, or if they did, at least protest that this was fun, so why must they get out? These children, without any hesitation, quickly jumped out of the pool. At the instant the last one was on deck, the power line snapped and fell into the water.

I think of this real-life story when I’m at a swimming pool, or watching children interact with their parents. Learning obedience is difficult—learning instant obedience without protest is even more challenging.

The Bible tells fathers to bring their children up “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4), because it first tells children to, “obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’” How can a child obey God unless they learn obedience from godly parents who raise them under the instruction and authority that God gives? It is possible, but certainly a greater challenge for those whose parents didn’t take on this responsibility.

My parents were told by my doctors that I would not live past sixteen years. For that reason, they didn’t give me a lot of orders. I remember the household rules and things like “stay away from bad boys” but not a lot of other instruction. By the time I passed sixteen in good health, I wasn’t as teachable as I might have been ten years before that. I don’t think I was a brat, but taking instruction has been a challenge for me.

This year, as I work through my annual purpose and goals, God is asking that I take a leap of faith. In previous years, I listed the givens (personal spiritual life, relationships with family and friends, and household responsibilities) then added goals in four other areas. This year, the Lord is nudging me to include those four areas, but drop my goals and the resulting to-do lists. After I take care of the givens, will have some free time for those other things, but instead of making my own set of plans, He wants me to listen for His direction each day. He may tell me to complete a project half done (I am working on many PhDs!) or start something new, or take off in another direction. The point is, I’m to pay attention to His will and obey it.

I respond to this something like Moses did when God spoke to him at the burning bush and told him to go back to Egypt and lead His people to the promised land. Basically, Moses said, “Here I am, send Aaron.” He didn’t want to do it, made excuses, told God he was inadequate, said he was not a speaker, blah, blah, blah. God replied, “Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord? Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say” (Exodus 4).

In other words, God told him that He created him, poor of speech and inadequacies included, but this was not about Moses. It was about the sufficiency of God.

Moses didn’t get it. He said, “O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send.”

While I don’t outright say the same words, in my heart when I pray for others, I’m thinking that God is enough, He doesn’t need me, and because I’m not capable, I’m sure He will send someone else.

I sound like Moses.

The next verses say that “the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses” and He replied that Aaron, Moses’ brother, could speak well so He would use him as a spokesperson, but He would first tell Moses what He wanted said. Then Moses would tell Aaron and Aaron would do the talking.

The first thing that hits me is that God promised to give Moses everything he needed to say. This would be when he needed to say it, and would require moment-by-moment listening and obedience on the part of this reluctant man. I have wondered about this. If I drop my to-do list, will God speak to me and let me know what to do next? Or will silence drive me back to doing things the old way, my way?

The second thing that hits me is that at times I have ‘passed the buck’ on obedience with the excuse of inadequacy. I’ve said, “Here I am” and wanted to be used by God, but in my heart, I’ve not expected this to happen because I’m not good enough, and He has far more capable servants. Just like Moses, I’m now hearing Him say, “Who made you? Don’t I know all about you? If I wanted someone else, I’d ask someone else.”

Obedience isn’t about me, or what I think about me. It is about the sufficiency of God. Neither is having a to-do list about what I think needs to be done. It is about the plans and purposes of God, which can be easy to miss, ignore, or neglect because I am too involved in busy work to fill in the hours in my days.

We heard a sermon last Sunday at Friendship Community Church in which God challenged us in the importance of prayer empowered by the Holy Spirit that seeks God’s will in all matters. The pastor said that too many Christians settle for mere survival instead of living as the Christians of the New Testament. He also asked, “If the hope of the world rests on you, what would the world be like?”

That hope does not rest on me; it rests on Christ, thank God, yet He makes it clear that I have a part in it and that role can be known and lived out only if I place my own plans in His hands and wait each day for His direction.

This is scary. Will I hear it? Will God’s direction be enough? My heart says of course it will, but taking a leap of faith is somewhat terrifying—I don’t like jumping at His command without knowing what will happen, nor do I enjoy the interval between taking that leap and landing in obedience, but then this isn’t about me, is it!

Under the Knife

An old apple tree on a farm we used to own was not producing fruit. One day I took a saw and some clippers and pruned it. Before going after the tree, a little research showed me that the best way to do it involved cutting out old and dead branches. It needed to be thinned so “a bird could fly through it” rather that simply nipping off the tips of the branches.

That year the tree didn’t look so good. The next year it had little blossom and no fruit, but the year after that was amazing. The tree bloomed profusely and bore the apples we’d hoped it would.

Since then, I’ve discovered every tree is different. Some require pruning in the spring. For others, fall is better. Some need to have the tips lopped off because they have become spindly and that type of pruning forces them to become bushier. Some need great care because they bleed sap when they are cut, even after the growing season. I’m not an arborist, but now know that without a little knowledge, pruning a tree without some understanding of the nature and habits of that tree could kill it.

Jesus said, “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:1-2).

Jesus is not talking about trees but those who are connected to Him by faith. He is also not talking about peaches, plums and pears, but about spiritual fruit. Galatians 5:22-23 offers this partial list: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”

Anything that is like Christ can be called spiritual fruit. Every time I obey Him I’m producing fruit. Every time I do my own thing, I’ve become disconnected in some way from the true Vine. John 15:5 says, “He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” so I don’t want to drift away. However, abiding in Him means that inevitably He will go at me with an axe, a saw, or a pruning knife.

Getting pruned is part of what it means to be a Christian. When I first started this great adventure with Christ, there were lots of things in my life that were either sinful or had little or no eternal value. Whack! He pruned them. Those I don’t miss. Sinful habits, stinking thinking, stubborn attitudes, stuff that bothered even me but I couldn’t seem to stop doing, were happily taken care of by the Great Vinedresser.

Other things that came under His knife seemed more valuable. It was only after He cut them out of my life did I realize how much they hindered me from a close walk with Jesus, and from being like Him. I also am learning that He knows His trees. He knows what to do with me, and when. His pruning is not painless, but it is effective.

He keeps snipping. Right now I’m aware of some branches that must go: a tendency to point fingers without remembering that most of the time I’m guilty of the same things, a stubborn procrastination that is rooted in lack of self-confidence — forgetting that He is my confidence and source of strength, and a selfish reluctance to serve others when I’m “busy” and don’t feel like it.

I’m sure there are more. A tree hasn’t a clue where the pruning needs to be done, and I am also generally clueless. I do know that it will happen, that it usually is unpleasant, but afterwards there is fruit. I might not even get to enjoy the fruit, but someone will benefit from it, and God will be glorified. For that, I need to be willing to welcome those clippers.

Love and a cracked pot

I planned my speech. My youngest son told me I’d have to make one yesterday “after opening the gifts.”

It was my birthday party. My husband took me to a restaurant for lunch and when we came home, our children were there, had decorated the house with balloons and streamers, made munchies, and were laughing together—a gift that they always bring to our house.

Soon others arrived, more family, friends, and we ate and laughed, and had cake and laughed, and then they put me in a cosy chair and started plunking gifts in front of me. It wasn’t long before I knew that they expected a “speech” and with so many years under my belt, you’d think I’d know what to say. But my mind went blank. I couldn’t remember all those good words I’d thought of earlier. I opened my mouth and thanked them and talked. I remember thinking that I wanted God to be glorified; that He got me this far and I am so thankful to Him. I said something about that, and how much I love my family and friends, but very shortly after speaking, couldn’t remember what I’d said. My husband told me I was gracious, glorified the Lord, and he was touched. Other than that, I can’t remember a thing.

I do remember the responses on everyone’s faces, especially one. He always reacts negatively toward all things spiritual, but as I mentioned my gratitude to God, I glanced his way. He looked, well, the only word I can think of is ‘charmed,’ as if God was blessing his heart. Later, I’m thinking, How can that happen when I am speechless (rarely happens) and so deeply touched by what everyone did for me that I can’t even put three words together?

Sometimes I need a reminder that I’m just an earthen vessel. The treasure of Christ living in me is the precious thing, and if others are going to see what’s inside, this clay pot needs to be cracked and even full of holes. In other words, if I polish and perfect what I do, He, who is the only perfect one, is hidden and people praise me instead.

This morning, God reminded me again that He isn’t interested in any ability to make a fancy speech. 1 Corinthians 1 says: “For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.”

My family and friends blessed me yesterday beyond words. Their love was neither sentimental or mushy, but thoughtful and from the heart. It changed me. I feel entirely like a humbled, foolish, weak, base nothing, yet oddly and completely content with that. God wants each of us to be at zero before He can use us. I know perfection isn’t important to Him. He looks for cracked and broken vessels that will let His light shine out through the transparency of being unable.

Besides that, through my family and friends who just “love me anyway,” He reminds me again that He is like that. Goof-ups and failures aside, a speechless cracked clay pot not only can have a far greater impact for Jesus Christ than one that has no flaws, but it also has a beloved place in His heart.