Embracing the Pain

Yesterday I wrote about Monday’s battle with unexplained despair, with feeling as if God had abandoned me and would never return. This came after reading how the words of despair expressed by Christians who know better can be blurted out but are not an expression of their hearts. Job called them words of wind, and even though he blurted out to his critical and accusing friends his frustration with the silence of God, he also said:

But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold. (Job 23:10)

At times an open and honest Christian can sound schizophrenic. The NT describes this in several places as the battle between the old flesh (which is dead to God’s ways) and the Holy Spirit who now lives in our hearts. If the Spirit is filling that person, godliness and truth rule their life and mouth, but sometimes the world and our demonic enemies hit us with some sort of painful thought or event that knock us back into thinking old ways. When that happens, the flesh is ‘shoved’ into old philosophies and lies, the chief one being, “God doesn’t love you” or some variation that contradicts the truth we have received from the Lord.

That was my Monday. Getting kicked in the heart was mostly an internal thing but related to sad news that deeply wounded me. I wanted to escape to heaven where there is no pain. And God was silent.

The other issue, strangely enough, was a challenge to be a story-teller who openly shared struggles and God’s work with others. I knew I had not done this with certain people so decided it was time — but decisions like that often bring on something to make me forget or ignore my determination. This is similar to what happens to pastors after a good sermon on Sunday; Monday becomes the worst day of the week.

But on Tuesday I read more about Job’s words and thought more about the importance of sharing life with others. The Spirit kept telling me that when someone else is in despair, to consider the source. Instead of rebuking their words, toss that idea to the wind and uncover their true beliefs, helping them to speak what is behind their struggle and then say what they really believe. When Monday put me on that other side with a dose of desperation and despair. I realized this was God’s way of showing me how badly others feel when life hands them lemons and the Spirit seems to leave… and I knew He did this to better equip me for doing what He wants me to do.

The story-telling theme hit too. Combining both lessons, I told someone else of my struggles and what I was learning. As soon as I did, the despair lifted. His joy flooded my heart, and the battle was over. I shared that too, not knowing what my listener thought about my ‘story-telling’ but realizing God wanted this transparency. Like Job, words of wind combined with golden truth went far deeper than the awful feelings that had me in a dark hole.
Today, several verses tell me this experience is important:

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)

It was a test, not a temptation, even though wanting to die seemed like a real desire. What did God want me to do with that? Share it, not worried what my listener might think about this blatant loss of faith.

Then this:

Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures. Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. (James 1:16–22)

“Share also the results…” which can only be done if I obey what I have learned. Tell it to others and do what God says. Checking off a box is not enough. Job didn’t get fully off the flesh stuff until God taught him how little he knew about God’s ways, but eventually he understood and was blessed. For me, joy was a blessing and the rest of the day was blessed too.

PRAY: Years ago, a pastor told me I got tough lessons because I was a tough case. That I understand now more than ever. But You are a persistent Savior for which I am glad. If a 2x4 works better than a kind word, then help me to embrace the pain and learn what is needed to keep on track.

Knowing the Possibilities

 

Every Christian has a burden for those they love who are without faith. We want them to share the joy of being in the family of God, of hearing His voice and being led by Him through the perplexities of life. Even though He may challenge us with difficulties, we have the choice of listening to His direction vs. trying to do it life on our own. Choose His will helps me find the wonder of His grace in both simple  and complex situations.

For instance, He challenged me to plan a family reunion, totally unfamiliar territory. I argued. Like Moses at the burning bush, I claimed my inexperience, lack of skill, blah, blah, but He insisted. Three times He has waked me up at 5 am and outline the next steps. I still feel unskilled, yet excited that God is doing the planning and that ensures an outcome that I cannot imagine.

Now I hear that someone I love has a health issue that could mean deterioration and even death. I  am not sure of that person’s standing with God and this morning am challenged with the possibilities. On the positive side, this could be a fiery furnace that changes her life.

In that OT story, the three who were cast into the fiery furnace came out as they went in—except their bonds. Their bodies were unhurt. Their skin was not blistered, hair not singed, garments not scorched, and no smell of fire on them. This is how God wants us to come out of trials — liberated from our bonds, but untouched by the flames.

Christians can learn that trials are a place of victory, not in having it removed, but winning by yielding to God in those trials. One writer puts it this way:

The real triumph—triumphing over sickness, in it; triumphing over death, dying; triumphing over adverse circumstances, in them…  Our triumph is to be in it. Christ’s triumph was in His humiliation.

Our victory can be in what others think is tragedy. Another friend fell and has been ten months in recovery from her severe injuries. She is in a wheelchair but when others express hope for a full recovery soon, with glowing face she says, “Oh, God isn’t done with me yet.” How incredible and contagious to see a person burdened with trials yet having a heart of joy. This woman is broken in body yet unbroken in patience. She displays the wonderful grace of God even in a severe experience that He has not (yet) fixed.

As for the person diagnosed with a potentially life-threatening problem, the worst possible scenario is not trusting Jesus in that situation. Even as Jesus walked this earth and performed miracles, spoke truth and did all that God asked of Him, there were many, even the religious leaders, who rejected Him. Concerning them, Jesus responded:

And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation.” (Luke 19:41–44)

This is the most negative response, not to trials but to not trusting Jesus when He is reaching out in loving grace to aid us, whether in ordinary life or in the extremity of a life-threatening situation. It begins with saying no to the offer, but winds up to being blinded by rejection to the point that God could hide His offer from their eyes. How awful to lose sight of grace and of Jesus.

PRAY: Lord, my prayer today is that You will keep the eyes of Your people open to Your goodness and purposes for any trials we face, but also You will persist in reaching those without faith with Your incredible grace. You know each heart and You know what will draw anyone to receive Your great gift of faith in You. It could be a fiery furnace. It could be seeing the faith of Your children. It could be losing all their own resources and having a deep sense of need. Whatever the situation, You can be trusted to have Your way with those with and without faith. Not my will but Thine be done — so You are glorified in the doing.

Convinced

 

READ John 5-10

These chapters from the Gospel of John repeat principles that ground my faith. My heart bursts with joy reading these truths. I am certain of so many things because Jesus said them!

Jesus said, “See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you” (John 5:14) and I know that sin brings undesirable things into my life.

He said, “For the Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, that all may honor the Son, just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him. Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.” (5:22–24) I know that cults who claim to worship God but ignore Jesus are not honoring God at all.

“I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me” (5:30) tells me that seeking the will of God gives me the ability to rightly evaluate what I hear. Without Christ, I cannot be sure of anything. This uncertainty is increased when I try to impress others: “How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?” (5:44) Jesus later adds, “If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority.” (7:17) Obedience brings clarity.

Jesus gives priorities for life: believe in Him, seek His will rather than temporary stuff . . .

“Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you . . . .” Then they said to him, “What must we do, to be doing the works of God?” Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.” (6:26–29)

I also know that the salvation of others is primarily God’s work: “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him . . . .” (6:44) and as they are drawn, they must come to Him realizing that sin is the big issue and so is His identity! He says, “I told you that you would die in your sins, for unless you believe that I am he you will die in your sins.” (8:24)

In that last verse, the word “he” is not in the original language. Jesus later repeated this claim: “Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I am.” And those who heard Him “picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out of the temple.” (8:58–59, compare to God identifying Himself to Moses in Exodus 3:14) For this claim and for all that He did, the Jews thought He was lying, but I am firmly convinced that Jesus is God in human flesh.

From experience and the words of Jesus, I am also convinced that sin is a slave driver. My only freedom is knowing the truth and living by it. Satan lies to deceive and sometimes knocks me down, but Jesus picks me up . . . 

“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free . . . . everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin . . . . So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (8:31–36) “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (10:10) “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” (10:27–30)

If something nasty happens to me, God uses it for good. Romans 8:28-29 define that good as transforming me to be more like Jesus. From John 9:1-3, I also am convinced that nasty stuff is not always brought on by my sin. Sometimes it happens because God has a plan. When Jesus saw a man blind from birth, his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

My mom used to say, “We must need it, or we would not be getting it.” This expresses a belief in the goodness and sovereignty of God. Jesus used her words and John’s Gospel to convince me. Whatever God says is true.