Putting Doubt on the Altar

Lately I’ve wondered if the average Christian considers doubts and unbelief concerning the promises of God to be sins. Doubt gets labels such as worry, concern, fretting, anxiety, even burdens, that should be prayed about…

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:5–7)

Yet doubts should be seen for what they are: failure to trust God. I can call them whatever I want, but must remember that if someone is not trusting God at all, the Bible labels them as sinners. For a Christian, the only way to deal with sin is this:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Instead of praying, if I am in a dither, why is that? Do I think I am responsible for the needs all around me and must ‘do something’ to fix them, as if I could? Or do I say I’ve not heard a direct order from God about taking action, so don’t even pray but still worry. Or am I using an excuse to avoid getting involved but still feel anxious? Or feel nothing and do nothing?

A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. (Luke 10:30–32)

Their excuses are not given. Maybe the priest had an appointment or the Levite didn’t hear God tell him to stop. Maybe both of them said helping victims of crime is not my job. I can hear myself in this story saying I don’t have time, or such and such is more important, or I have no skill in dressing wounds, or something other than faith to ask, “God, equip me, fill me with Your Spirit so I know what to do and how to do it”?

I’m not certain all disobedience boils down to doubt, but it likely does. Today I sense my doubts in procrastination. I’m responsible for three looming tasks that do not match my skills or experience. I need God’s input. I have experience in getting His help in the past — for many challenges. Why am I faltering on these three? Is it because I don’t think He will help me?

To be free from unbelief, the most effectual process is to lay those doubts, just as I lay other sins, on God’s altar and totally surrender them and myself to Him. I must give up all liberty to doubt and instead consecrate my faith to Him, trusting Him to keep me trusting Him and refusing to question His love and faithfulness. He says He hears and answers, so why hesitate? I excuse it with laziness — but that needs to be confessed too!

The temptations might sound like, “God isn’t concerned that these get done” or “Perfection is required and I’m not up to that” or “I need human help but there is none” and blah, blah, blah.

God tells me to turn a deaf ear to all that, confess what is sin, then just jump to it, trusting Him with the first steps (which are usually very simple) and see what happens. The fight to do this seems severe, even impossible, yet today’s devotional reminds me of Job who faced far greater challenges than mine. He complained much (I can relate to that) but he also said, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” (Job 13:15).

PRAY: Lord, forgive my fears and doubts that You will hear and help me. If you don’t, maybe these three things are not important right now (or is that another excuse?) but if You do, You will be glorified. Certainly this fight with doubt is part of the enemy’s strategy to keep me from both praying and just moving ahead in faith, trusting His supply and bringing Him glory.

Trusting Him and ignoring my feelings…

Note to readers: Every now and then my posts have typos or worse — like convoluted sentences that make no sense. They usually happen when I make a late evening post and am half asleep. My hubby notices them the next morning but too late for those who read them early in the day. So sorry! If that happens, please go back and read again as they do get corrected and I want to be clear rather than confusing!

I wish that I had read today’s devotional at least a day ago — I might not have been so anxious about the meeting yesterday! The devotional writer reminded her readers that God’s people learn that God is enough. Funny how your head can tell you that but fears and other emotions and experiences scream otherwise. The Bible says, “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7) I should not let fear happen, but it did.

A good example for me is Job. He was in great trials and overwhelmed by lack of understanding. Why was God allowing all this loss and sorrow? Why did He not give comfort and assurance up front? Like Job, I was trusting God, yet not feeling the delight that goes with that trust. Job complained a great deal, however he did say this remarkable truth:

Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face. (Job 13:15)

Other versions say, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust him.” That was my thinking. This meeting could be a total disaster. I had a key role in it but feared no one would listen to me. But I was trusting God anyway, no matter what happened. The hard part was no joy in that trust — at least not until the day was over and He surprised me with the others who gave support for my thoughts and showed rejection of ideas contrary to sound practices. I did not expect such unity.

The devotional writer also points to David who said:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23:4–6)

Did David write this before, during, or after his trials and the experience of God’s comfort? I don’t know Hebrew so cannot determine the verb tenses. However, in English this reads that David’s trust was based on both faith and experience. He knew he could trust God in the present and the future because of God’s past faithfulness. I should be more like David. He also said:

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah (Psalm 46:1–3)

The NT says such faith comes by hearing — hearing the Word of God. I need to also be in the Scriptures more than I am, reading Psalms more often would be helpful.

Yet meditation is vital too. I’d recently read this NT passage and failed to apply it to my fears about yesterday’s meeting:

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31–39)

PRAY: Lord God, my spiritual maturity has a long way to go to match my physical age. Yet age is not the issue. I need to think all the time that You are enough. No matter the trials and challenges, You do not fail. I can trust You to take care of all issues, no matter how huge or impossible they might seem to me. You will honor Your Word take care of me, just as You have promised.

Sparks fly upward

The wildfire in our province is still burning. Many evacuees from the city that was hit the hardest have come to our city, some with amazing stories of escape. Two young women rode their horses through the flames. Many families came out with a car full of small children, and took up to 48 hours to get to food and shelter without losing patience with the cries of their little ones. Strangers are helping strangers.

This has been an awful yet incredible week. We have seen patience in dire straits rising above the ordinary. We sometimes joke about praying for patience because the Bible says we learn it through tribulation, so don’t pray for it unless you want trouble, but this really isn’t a joke.

One of Job’s friends declared that a man is born to trouble as sparks fly upward. We live in a world filled with trouble, and if I’m having a good day today, tomorrow might bring the opposite. No one in Fort Mac expected that devastating fire and many are now facing years of recovery. This will take a great deal of patience.

Chambers talks about patient endurance from the perspective of what God is doing behind the scenes during those trials of life. He gave a promise to the church in Philadelphia (an ancient city in Asia Minor):

Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth. (Revelation 3:10)

This church was noted for enduring under trial. Did they see their trial with any clarity? Chambers uses a word picture: patience is more than endurance because a Christian’s life in the hands of God is like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God aims at something we cannot see. He stretches and strains, and every now and then we cry out that we cannot take any more of this, but He doesn’t listen. He goes on stretching us until His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly.

This image is a good one. God uses it to tell me to trust God’s hands for whatever is testing me right now. The key is to maintain my relationship with Jesus by this patience that comes from faith, the patience describe by Job when he said, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” (Job 13:15)

Chambers insists that faith isn’t a ‘pathetic sentiment’ and I agree. Rather than a mousy acquiescence to the trials of life because I’m helpless to change anything anyway, it is an active confidence based on who God is. I cannot see Him every moment of every trial, nor can I always understand what He is doing, but I know who He is. I can be like those horses who trusted their young owners to get them beyond the wall of flames, or that child who took her father’s hand and lets him lead her through the fire.

Chambers also says faith is the heroic effort of life. I can fling myself in reckless confidence on God because I know and trust Him. He gave His all in Jesus Christ to save me. Now He wants me to give my all in total trust to Him, living through trials knowing that His life will touch all the places in mine that are yet to experience Him, places that will be exposed by the trial.

Eternal life is the kind of life that can face anything tossed at it without wavering. This makes life an adventure, even a great romance filled with opportunities for seeing the awesome goodness of God all the time. God keeps stretching me so as the sparks fly upward, I will rise with them, not to destruction or disaster, but to a place of great confidence and power.

Loving God means…

The two great commandments tell us to love God with all our mind, soul and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. It seems simple, but the very nature of love defies and defines our success.

This love that the Bible speaks of is a sacrificial love. It is embodied in Christ who loved us in humility, giving up His own life that we could be forgiven and receive eternal life. As a basically selfish creature, that kind of love is more than a challenge; it is impossible.

And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” (Revelation 12:10–11)

The “accuser” is Satan. The book of Job tells how he comes before God and tattles on His servants. Job was a godly man, yet Satan said that Job would never trust God if God was always good to him. The rest of the book shows that the faith that God gives is more than adequate. Job didn’t like what happened to him and complained, but his faith held firm.

Job conquered all that Satan threw at him and at God in accusation because of those three things in Revelation 12:11. While the Lamb, Jesus Christ had not yet shed His blood, the Old Testament sacrifices were a picture or type that pointed to Him. As the OT people of faith offered a slain animal on the altar of God, they were demonstrating faith in the promise of God to send a Messiah. It was this promise that Job believed, and by it and the blood of the coming Lamb, he held fast.

Job also declared his faith. His “friends” accused him too, saying he must have done something wrong to deserve all his losses and sufferings. However, Job insisted he was not being punished for sin. He said,

Though he slay me, I will hope in him… (Job 13:15) For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God. (Job 19:25–26)

His testimony of faith remained, even as he lost his family, possessions, health, and nearly his life. He did not give up, even at the threat of death, and by doing so, he conquered the enemy and the accusations of his “friends.”

Not all people of faith have the same experiences. Some do die. I heard this week that about 200 Christians around the world lose their lives each day because of their faith. That is one martyr every seven minutes.

Would I? If authorities came to my door and demanded that I must renounce Christ or be shot, what would I do? This is the ultimate sacrifice, yet not the only sacrifice that I can make to show my love for God. A more “rubber hits the road” example is simply giving up what I want to do to obey what He wants me to do, usually some call to serve someone else.

Getting even more specific, sacrificial love holds its tongue rather than boasting, lying, gossiping or saying unkind words. It goes the extra mile to help those in need, giving time, money, or other resources without complaint, but joyfully. Sacrificial love even thinks good thoughts…

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

… giving up sinful ideas, inner accusations, arrogance, or judgmental attitudes toward others.

How can such love be possible? Christ stopped at nothing, was willing to be made flesh, to be tempted, deserted, persecuted, and to die on a cross, and I struggle at times to speak a kind word or go out of my way to bless someone else.

To be like Jesus, I must rely on Him having a faith like Job. I knowing that Jesus lives in my heart to supply all my need, but I must be so taken by His sufferings for me, that He kindles a flame in me, a love that breaks forth in my words and ways to the praise of His glory.

And I must always remember that He said, “Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” (John 12:25)

God is in the darkness

Our weekly study group read and discussed the book of Jonah last night. Most of the people there were not impressed with this rebellious prophet and some even mocked him.

However, I saw Jonah differently than ever before. I know what it feels like to say ‘no’ to God and then go into great conflict because of it. Jonah’s emotional state would have mirrored his spiritual torment. Those who know and love God cannot fight with Him without feeling depressing guilt and the pounding of the Holy Spirit. Besides that, when I resist His will, I am left alone to battle with my foolishness, which is a dark place.

Jonah was walking in darkness, wrapped in seaweed in darkness, and in the belly of a fish in darkness. Even after God spoke to him, rescued him, and worked obedience in his life, this reluctant preacher was still turned inward, without humility and without gratitude toward the Lord.

Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the voice of his servant? Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. Behold, all you who kindle a fire, who equip yourselves with burning torches! Walk by the light of your fire, and by the torches that you have kindled! This you have from my hand: you shall lie down in torment. (Isaiah 50:10–11)

What does it mean to walk in darkness? Sometimes God simply withdraws the sense of His presence to test and prove my faith. Will I keep on? Will I seek Him?

Sometimes darkness is my own doing. Like Jonah, I say ‘no’ to something God wants or ‘yes’ to something He doesn’t want, and the lights go out. As these verses say, when that happens, I only add to the problem as I try my own ‘light’ which results in the experience of more darkness. Solutions of the flesh are never solutions and no escape from the torment. Jonah tried to run away from God and that ‘light’ didn’t work either.

In Jonah’s situation, God asked him to do something that repulsed him; he was to take God’s message to his enemies. Another Old Testament saint, Job, was struck on all sides too, without any apparent reason for his darkness. He lost everything but his wife and his life, but did the opposite as Jonah. Jonah ran, but Job stayed. He complained and argued, yet his trust in God remained.

Faith is easy when all goes well and my tasks are pleasant. Could I have faith if my children were buried, my home desolate, my health and prosperity gone?

Today’s devotion (again by Spurgeon) asks if my easy faith is really faith in God at all. Or is it only a cheerfulness that rises out of my surroundings? He grabs my heart by saying, “Fair-weather faith is a poor imitation of the real grace. I entreat you to be stalwart, for if you cannot do so, your strength is small, and your faith is questionable.”

Not only that, this preacher (who has become a friend!) says to remember one more thing: My blessed Lord and Master was not spared the blackest midnight that ever fell on any human. He was exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. How can I expect to be treated better than God’s dear Son, the Lamb of God?

What will come of it if I can trust God in the dark? I will discover again that He will not fail me. Even before the light comes and while it is still dark, such faith declares it. He is God of light and God of darkness.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. (Psalm 139:11–12)

Trusting God in the dark is also a humbling thing. Spurgeon says that by walking in darkness and seeing no light, “You will form a very low idea of yourself, and this will be a superior blessing.” I wince, but know it is true.

Further, if I can trust God in dark trials, I will prove and enjoy the power of prayer. The person who has never needed to cling to God in prayer cannot declare the wonder of being able to pray, or to say with Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him…” (Job 13:15)

It is in these struggles that Christians mature. Faith in the dark changes my life, even brings greater light than was hoped for and a fuller reward than was expected. This means that being in the dark is not a bad thing. God uses such trials for my good and for His glory. I can trust Him in the light — and when the lights go out.

Stand in the night

Jesus said to His disciples (and to me), “The light is among you for a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you. The one who walks in the darkness does not know where he is going.” (John 12:35) 

Walking with God is easy when I know what He wants, when prayers are being answered, when life makes sense. But what about the opposite? What about the foggy times when I’m uncertain of His will, when it seems His ears are deaf, and when nothing makes sense? 

David experienced those dark times. He’d served Saul faithfully and Saul was trying to kill him. His own sons were after his throne and he was not certain who he could trust. 

Others have had experiences that could make them think that God had abandoned them. Job certainly felt that way after losing his family, his health, and all that he had. Yet this man knew that God was still there. He said, “Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face” (Job 13:15) and “He knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold” (Job 23:10). Despite all that happened, Job had that inner assurance that kept popping up from his spirit and out of his mouth.

Worshiping God in the tough times is like that. My focus might be more on my troubles than it should be, but even then, the assurance of God’s presence and purpose for my life whispers and comforts me. Again, it is easy to worship and serve God in the light, but serving Him in the night is not impossible.

Come, bless the Lord, all you servants of the Lord, who stand by night in the house of the Lord! Lift up your hands to the holy place and bless the Lord! May the Lord bless you from Zion, he who made heaven and earth! (Psalm 134:1–3)

The psalmist honored those who stand in the night. He bids them (and me) to lift up my hands and worship Him, even in a dark place. He also reminds me that He is the Creator of the universe who always blesses His people. Circumstances change. Light comes and sometimes goes, but He remains the same.

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Lord, every so often I need a reminder that You are my anchor, my firm place. This week, I’ve seen many answers to prayer, but faced perplexing situations and not known how to pray. Sometimes the shadows seem to overwhelm the sunlight. Yet in all this, You are the same yesterday, today, and forever. You are faithful even when I am not, or when I feel as if You are not here or hearing me. You teach me to walk by faith, not by sight and to stand by night and lift up my hands and bless You. 

(Photo credit)