Speaking the truth in love?

Sunday’s sermon addressed the issue of shooting our own wounded. That is, Christians in the church hurting or offending other Christians. I’m certain that every one of us would say that is an awful thing and it should not happen, but it does. In fact, it could be the most off-putting thing about the Christian faith.

The pastor did a remarkable job of explaining why it happens and what we need to do about it. As I listened, I thought how easy it is to be offensive, to argue over matters of opinion that do not matter, or get into serious discussion about important issues and state our views without considering how our language and intensity can be viewed as a personal attack rather than a defense of the faith.

This morning, my devotional guide says, “In one sense, the book of Acts is simply a defense of Christianity. That believers need to defend and contend for the faith is clear.” What that means and includes is just as great a challenge as the people who need to hear such a defense. Also, what is the difference between defending my faith and getting into a conversation that offends others?

 . . . but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil. (1 Peter 3:15–17)

In this passage, Peter is telling persecuted readers what their attitude should be. They should always hope in God and be prepared to explain why — without harshness or any disrespect for those who listen. As he says, I’m to live righteously and do nothing that offends my own conscience. If someone slanders me, it should always be their problem and not mine. If they are inclined speak evil of me, I’m not to have done anything to bring it on. This includes the way I share my faith or speak up for truth.

In last night’s Bible study, someone said the God of the Old Testament was much harsher than how He is revealed in the New Testament. At that, I defended grace, that the OT stories showed God’s grace as much as His wrath. He hates sin and yet when His people sinned, He didn’t slaughter the entire human race. He forgave and stuck with them until He sent Jesus who died for all that sin and disobedience. We try to understand why God had many groups of people wiped off the face of the earth, but my point was that without grace, why does He allow any of us to live? We are all sinners.

I’m not sure if I offended anyone. I hope not yet I realize the Word of God clearly says that any discussion with anyone about faith requires that I be nice about it.

Paul was in prison when he wrote to the Philippians. He became aware that others were glad he was put there because they could move ahead in the “most popular preacher” race, a very self-centered motivation that still can affect how some people contend for the faith. Paul was not playing that game. He said:

“The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice.” (Philippians 1:17–18)

Rather than get into a contention about who was the best, or the most successful, he was glad that they were doing what he was limited in doing; Jesus was being preached. For him, this was far more important. This tells me that any competition in rhetoric or to be the ‘winner’ of a debate is not the issue. The glory of God is the issue. So be nice.

Jude also warned his readers to speak up about their faith. In his admonition, he was concerned about false teachers who denied Christ and promoted sensuality.

Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints. For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. (Jude 3–4)

Sensual means sinful abandon, indulgence in sensual pleasure unrestrained by convention or morality. It can be as simple as focusing on the comforts of this world (God wants you healthy, wealthy, etc.) to more obvious wickedness. Christians today need to defend our faith against those who assume God will give them whatever they want, not realizing that being like Jesus means “not my will but Thine be done.” At the same time, be nice!

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Lord, I can easily offend non-Christians but also those who believe in Christ as I talk about my faith. Sometimes I open my mouth without putting my brain in gear, or without knowing where others might be sensitive or have painful issues that I’m hitting on. Grant me an ear to listen before speaking, to love people and care about them, but also to put Your glory ahead of everything else, including my own wants.