Love and forgiveness

The marks of a true disciple of Christ are love and the ability to forgive. These days, biblical love is confused by a multitude of definitions for love, but the idea of forgiveness is less muddy. It means to refuse to hold the sins of another person against them.

Forgiving is not totally forgetting (Can God totally forget what we do?) nor is it being free from the pain of the injury. Instead it is simply refusing to retaliate or be angry and vindictive. Christians forgive because we know the forgiveness of Christ. He forgave me for my sin against God, and showed me what it means to forgive others for something they might do against me. The Bible is clear, if a lack of forgiveness is characteristic of my life, then I would not be a Christian.

However, an unforgiving spirit is only one thing that can hinder my walk with Jesus. The following verses are short, but they say much about how I must live.

But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers. And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:7-8)

In my Greek lexicon, these two verses literally say, “The end of all things is near; therefore be serious and discipline yourselves for the sake of your prayers. Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins.”

Serious or sober-minded is the opposite of being frivolous and unthinking. I can be carefree, but not shallow in the way I think. I’m to remember that Jesus might come at any time and act accordingly. This is about self-discipline. God gives great joy but not a mindless lifestyle that “can’t be bothered” with the serious topics.

According to the lexicon version, any lack of self-discipline (even in my thoughts) will hinder my prayers. Other Scripture verifies this. I cannot sin and at the same time expect to be praying “in the will of God” or expect Him to answer my prayers.

These thoughts connect to the next verse. If I am serious and watchful, I will also be concerned about my relationships with other Christians. I’m to love them. This is not a mushy sentiment or a love based on mutual agreement. Biblical love is fervent or constant love and given by the Holy Spirit. It is never an up and down emotional thing based on circumstances or on my current needs and wants list. Love like this is important to prayer because if I’m all over the map with emotions like annoyance and even hatred, my prayers are hindered.

Last night I had trouble praying. I was struggling with negative emotions about another Christian and an unwillingness to think through why this was happening. I just wanted to go to sleep. However, God would not let me. The One who gives us sleep and gives to us in our sleep would not let me rest until I disciplined my mind to think seriously about my issues. He knew the problem was with me and that I needed to face my attitude and confess what was sinful about it. Once I did, sleep came instantly.

Today, my concerns were more about the sin of the other person. Again, God speaks from His Word and tells me to love that person; He will deal with the sin.

However, this verse from 1 Peter 4 says that love will cover a multitude of sins. What does that mean? At first, it looks like a Christian’s love atones for another Christian’s sins. But the full proverb that Peter quotes says, “Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins” (Proverbs 10:12). He is not talking about atonement but relationships. If I am unforgiving and annoyed with someone, that attitude is fertile soil for sin, both in their life and mine. But if I love that person and forgive them, I am not stirring up sin (or more sin), but applying a weedkiller to its growth.

Forgiveness is ultimately a demonstration of love. When I truly forgive someone, I will not speak to others about what they have done, nor will I attack them or try to make them retract whatever was said, or manipulate them so they will make up for what they did. The love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ is not like that. He does not flay us with our sin or demand payback. Instead, He took the fall for us. He paid my penalty and flung my sin into the sea of His perfect forgiveness. Furthermore, His love is never based on what I do, but on who He is.

My love for others and forgiveness for their sin against me must also to be that way, unconditional and demonstrated as He demonstrated it — by sacrifice. When I do that, my prayers are heard and sin cannot mess up my relationships with others in the Body of Christ.