Forgiveness

The preacher was talking about forgiveness, and I was sitting there thinking, But you have no idea what just happened to me. I could never forgive that person.

But God would not leave me alone. The hurt was deep, the sin against me was terrible, but I had to forgive, not to remove the pain because that does not happen; nor to reward any repentance of the other person because there was no change of heart; nor to make that other person change or feel more guilty because that is retaliation. Forgiveness is none of those things.

At that time, I knew the definition of forgiveness. It means to “choose not to hold a person’s sin against them.” This definition excludes how I feel. It rises above any deserving action from the other person. It disregards the pain and memories that come and go. It is a choice and that choice must remain firm.

I also understood something about God’s forgiveness. He forgives because Jesus died for our sins, my sins, that person’s sins, whether or not we acknowledge them or Him. I also understood that even if I do not ask for forgiveness, it is in the heart of God to offer it — no matter what.

What I didn’t understand at that time was why God would do that. What puts forgiveness in the mind of a pure and holy God who has every right to be angry at our sin? If we do nothing to earn or deserve it (and we don’t), why would He do it. Then I found this verse . . .

I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins. (Isaiah 43:25, italics mine)

God’s character is such that He hates sin, but He loves sinners. This is something like raising children. I know the conflict in my heart when one of my children does something wrong. I love them, but I hate what they have done and know the harm to them from their own actions.

This is the heart of our Father God. He sees the sin of His children, and that sin must be punished. To do so would cry contrary to all that is just, yet we still live and breathe. This is because that other child, the one and only Son, stepped up to the executioner’s place and offered Himself in our place.

God did this for us, yet not just for us; He did it for His own sake. He did it to satisfy His holiness and at the same time preserve His created people. He says,

For I knew that you would deal very treacherously, and were called a transgressor from the womb. For My name’s sake I will defer My anger, and for My praise I will restrain it from you, so that I do not cut you off. Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For My own sake, for My own sake, I will do it; For how should My name be profaned? And I will not give My glory to another. (Isaiah 48:8-11)

Reading these verses broke my hard resolve twenty-some years ago. Now, reading them again (and many times since), I am filled with awe at God all over again. Today’s devotional verse adds another note about forgiveness. It says,

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

When God asks me to forgive, He wants kindness, tenderheartedness, and that same attitude that He has. He forgave me because Christ died for my sin, not only what I have done, but all sin, even the sin I’ve not yet committed. His forgiveness is in His heart because that is who He is. He asks of me to be the same, to continue to have a forgiving heart regardless of the sins or what they do or will do, because that is who I am, changed and given a new life, and I can do it in the same way He does it — because of Jesus.