His grief is for my sake

When my mother died, grief visited often and often unexpectedly. Grief is not pleasant. It comes like an unwelcome visitor demanding my total attention. I soon learned that I must open the door and allow myself to feel that deep sorrow. Otherwise, if I put grief off, it came back with greater intensity the next time.

Today’s verse is about grief, not mine, but God’s. It is near the end of the passage I’ve been reading for the past few days. This passage tells me that I am not to lie, but tell the truth; to be angry and not sin; to not steal, but work with my hands so I may have something to give the needy; and to speak no useless words, but words that edify others. Then it gives the reason;

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (Ephesians 4:30)

The grief of the Holy Spirit is similar to human grief after someone dies in that He also feels loss. He knows “what might have been” had I obeyed God and grieves over the loss of that joyful obedience. His grief is pure and overwhelming.

Not only that, when I disobey God, I should not wonder at my feelings of great sorrow. Because the Holy Spirit lives in me and is closer to my heart than anyone or anything, I feel sad when I sin because I am feeling His sadness.

The Spirit also knows that the worst way to deal with grief is to put it off. He wants me to open the door and allow myself to feel His sorrow. This is not the same as a “sorry I got caught” response, but a sorrow over sin that honors God and acknowledges my guilt. 2 Corinthians 7:10 says,

For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.

The next verse describes this godly sorrow. It produces a particular diligence and a strong desire to clear myself with God, to make things right. This godly sorrow also is accompanied by a sense of indignation over sin, a fear or awe of God’s holiness, and a vehement desire with deep zeal to seek the vindication that only Christ can give.

Such sorrow is not at all like the grief I used to have before I became a Christian. Back then when I made a mistake, I became upset because I didn’t want others to think ill of me. I made excuses, rationalized, and did anything and everything to avoid admitting that I was wrong.

Even though Ephesians 4:30 is about grieving the Holy Spirit, He does not feel this for just Himself. When I make Him grieve, His sorrow is for the glory of Jesus Christ as well as my spiritual well-being. He always has God’s glory and my best interests at heart.

While I cannot imagine grief being totally without any trace of self-pity or concern for my own emotional state, the Holy Spirit in His perfection loves me so much that He feels sad when I fall short — for my sake. He wants me to walk with Him, to live in harmony with the will of God, and experience His love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). I lose out when I sin.

I’m also thinking that in His perfection, God does not have negative emotions. His sorrow is also for me. That is, He allows Himself that feeling only because I need to feel it. I need to know the loss and the absence of His joy and the horror of disobeying Him. Otherwise I would sin and not care at all about what I had done — unless of course I got caught.