Put on love

My Swedish grandmother used to say, “Too old too soon, too late smart.” I often think of her and these words, particularly when I realize that I fall short and must keep learning how to live my Christian life.

The standard is high. God tells me to be perfect as He is perfect (Matthew 5:48). He tells me to love as Christ loved (Ephesians 5:2) and give my life for the godliness of others.

I’m hearing these words again today, this time from Colossians. The passage says,

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. (Colossians 3:12-20)

Verse 14 is the hub of these thoughts. It says “above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection” using words that describe getting dressed in an upper garment that completes and puts together the rest. In other words, mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, bearing with one another and forgiving one another mean nothing without the love of Christ as primary motivation. I can do those things on the surface and make them look good, but with selfish reasons such as “it feels good” or “it makes me look good” or “I’m earning God’s favor” or “I cannot stand conflict.”

The love described in the New Testament is exemplified in Jesus Christ who gave His very life that others might know and serve God. His love is not about me but about others. I cannot love like that unless I know Him.

God knows the importance of being loved. It is at the root of letting “the peace of God rule” in my heart. It is also the reason for Him calling me into His body, and the core of why I can be thankful (verse 15).

I find out about the love of God from His Word. No wonder He says to let it “dwell in you richly” for the more I know of His love, the more I am able to love others. Because of His love, I can have wisdom, be in on “teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in our hearts to the Lord” (verse 16).

Because of God’s love, I can respond in “whatever you do in word or deed” by doing it “in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (verse 17).

Lest this sound too pious and perhaps impractical, the next few verses bring it right down to where I live, where most of us live. It says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord” (verses 18-20).

This is where the “too old too soon, too late smart” part comes in. None of these things can happen unless the love of Christ is deeply known and experienced. What wife is even interesting in submission? The word has become a nasty word, even in Christian circles. What husband has not experienced bitterness toward his wife? What children have not been rebellious toward their parents?

These impossible commands cannot be obeyed without being absolutely certain that God loves me. Otherwise, I’m unable to trust Him enough to obey them, or at least the big one that applies to me. Instead, my heart will say If I do that, it will be a disaster.

I see all around me the results of not knowing the love of God. Women reject these verses with a million reasons and reasonings. Men do too, and fail to trust the One who could give them all they need to obey them. The children of this world cannot see the love of God either. If it is missing in the commands of their parents (who do not see it), they suffer all their lives because of the uncertainty of being loved.

I hear people flippantly or even sincerely say, “All we need to do is love one another” yet if questioned, the love they are talking leans more toward tolerance and sentiment rather than the sacrificial love of Jesus. Tolerance may feel good for a time, but only the love of Christ can bind us together and bring us to perfection.