What about regrets?

Numbers 33; Psalm 78:1–39; Isaiah 25; 1 John 3

God’s grace enables me to do His will, but sometimes I forget that basic truth and start feeling guilty about all the stuff that fits into that “should have, could have” list as if obedience depended total on me. He reminds me again that idea is false.

In the former covenant, God used His Law to show His people their need of a Savior. Even though the NT covenant is about that salvation by grace, there are patterns in the OT that recur in the lives of Christians. For instance, before the Israelites entered the Promised Land, they were told this:

But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land from before you, then those of them whom you let remain shall be as barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides, and they shall trouble you in the land where you dwell. And I will do to you as I thought to do to them.” (Numbers 33:55–56)

The pattern of God is that He gives new life to those who believe and then proceeds to rid us of our old ways. Like the Israelites, we are to reject, resist, and rid ourselves of all that defiles. If this is not done, then those sinful habits will be a snare to living for Christ. 

This battle to do well takes focus off the One who fights for me and reveals that I’ve lessons to learn. The most important lesson is to understand and practice is that I cannot be a godly person apart from total reliance on my Savior. And I’m a slow and stubborn learner.

This, coupled with being saved as an adult, means that most of what I learned was not made available to my children when they were small. They grew faster than I did; my ignorance and stubborn ways lasted too long.

Under the OT covenant, these verses always send me on a “should have, could have” guilt trip:

He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers (and mothers) to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God. (Psalm 78:5–8)

This and other laws reveal human inadequacy and the reason He sent Jesus. Isaiah rebukes his readers for their rebellion and stubborn ways, but he also points to the One who would change our lives:

He (the Messiah) will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken. It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.” (Isaiah 25:8–9)

I can suffer overwhelming regret that my children did not learn much from me to pass on to their children so that all would put their hope in God and not be like me. However, God is sovereign and His power to save is unlimited. All that His people in the OT were unable to do, He did for them. He rescued them repeatedly, making and keeping promises, being faithful to fulfill His will for their lives. This encourages me. The NT backs up the greatness of His faithfulness. He hears and answers prayer for my family.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us. (1 John 3:18–24)

Abiding in Christ is the new covenant. I cannot do anything apart from Him — sadly learned by experience — but He says that by believing in Him and loving others, whatever I ask from Him I will receive.

APPLY: Trust and obey. Do what I know. Listen for guidance concerning what I don’t know. Rely on Jesus for everything because He is the Savior — and I am not. He also loves my family and cares more for their eternal destiny than I do!

Go where grace entices you . . .

A proverb is a short saying that is generally true. It is not a promise or guarantee. Proverbs need some interpretation and careful thought. For instance, this one:

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

One interpretation of this proverb has brought grief to many parents. Their children grow up rebelling against what they have been taught and the parents blame themselves and might even lose their faith in God.

They didn’t realize this is a proverb about something else, not a guarantee for raising godly children. We do our best, but must remember that Adam and Eve had a perfect Parent, lived in a perfect environment, and they went astray despite those advantages!

A better interpretation of this proverb goes like this: Train up a child in the way of his natural skills and abilities, and when he is old, he will still be using them.

Most of us know that if a child loves music, parents should not force him to play football, or if a child is interested in science and bugs, do not insist that he becomes a wallpaper designer. Of course, some children have multi-talents and interests, but the point is that I ought to know enough about my children to encourage them in their interests and abilities, their natural ‘bent’ that makes them who they are.

This can go beyond the practical interests such as choosing a career or choosing hobbies and pastimes. The Bible speaks also of spiritual gifts. I’m thinking of the list in Romans 12 that uses language hinting these gifts are part of the way a person thinks, indicating the “way he should go.”

This is a big topic and impossible to fit into this post, but after considerable study in this area, I’ve concluded that much of my interests and abilities are related to my spiritual gifts. I’ve noticed the same in my children, and thankfully not too late in their lives to encourage them. For instance, one is gifted in teaching. Biblically, this gift is about being interested in many things and gathering information to help people think correctly about many topics. This child of ours was teaching computer skills to grades 1-3 when he was in grade 7. He didn’t become a teacher, but uses this gift in his job as a project manager. Also, he has never stopped helping people with their computer problems.

As an adult, he thoroughly researches everything. I’ve known a few others who do this and thought they were a bit obsessed, but because of Proverbs 22:6, I understand them better. The desire of their heart is to think rightly and help others think rightly. If they are Christians, this is expressed in solid Bible study so the truths of God are not only researched for personal benefit but to share with others.

Had I known about these God-given skills when they were young, I would have understood and trained my children with a stronger focus on this “way they should go.” However, God brought out their gifts anyway, and gave me a general idea to encourage them. All three know ‘the way they should go’ and that way has not changed throughout their lives.

My parents had less clue of this than I did, but they knew my interests and skill and encouraged me. My mother told me that if I was doing artistic things, I didn’t have to do much housework, just 1-2 short chores. My dad was machine-oriented, but he made sure that from a young age I always had a horse to ride. I still appreciate the freedom of their respect, particularly when I hear a parent say that their children’s interests are nonsense, or call their child weird in the way they think.

^^^^^^^

Jesus, this is still a practical truth. Knowing people are gifted in various ways helps me ask questions and discern their interests. I can encourage them to develop and use their gifts and follow their passions. Many have not had any training from their own parents and are blessed when told to ‘go for it’ by another adult. This also helps me focus; I am one of those easily distracted people because everything interests me, but unlike You, I cannot do all that catches my eye. You know the way I should go and keep nudging me in that direction — bringing great blessing and sense of purpose to my life!